I deal with this laundry place 6 times a week. If I am lucky, only five times. Now, I dream about it. Not dream as in day dream but like the dreaming you do when you sleep. I will blame it on Nyquil but my dear god, I hope I never dream about me working in the laundromat. It was a nightmare!!
This is how the dream went.
It was 30 minutes before the last wash and the laundromat was pretty quiet with only 3 customers. I kept thinking "yes! I am going to close early!" but I was wrong. Even in my dream my prediction was wrong! So much for the whole "controlling your dreams" advice...
Anyways, a customer comes up to me and asks me for a couple of bags because his wife forgot to give him the laundry bag. I told him I would have to charge him for the bags and he just went on a mumbling rant saying "oh I am never coming here ever again." I leave from the counter to go to the back to start cleaning up and all of the sudden, theres over 10 customers. Washers are going and dryers are drying. Customers started to come in 10 minutes before the last wash and I would tell them that im closed. While im telling these group of customers to basically leave, other customers are putting in wash! I look at the clock and I see that its 30 minutes before closing time. I start to freak out. I clean and it gets dirty all over again. I am reminding people of the closing time and they ignore it. There were 3 teenage girls sitting on the folding tables and I told them to get down. I thought that the customer with the bags put a curse on me so I return to the counter to get him the bags and I gave them to him. He thanks me. He didn't put a curse on me. I turn around and i see three girls sitting on the counter again. I yell at them this time to get down... except for the fact that there were three little girls sitting there. I started to freak out that I made 2 of the 3 girls cry and I started to apologize to the mom. The mom forgave me and told me "you are just doing your job." I told her she can leave them up there if its going to avoid a headache and them running around as if it were a playground. I look at the clock and it was 10 minutes before closing and these people were nowhere close to down. I was freaking out because I wanted to go home. Then my phone rings in reality.
The dream freaked me out... NO MORE LAUNDRY DREAMS PLEASE!!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
I SMELL APPLE
First off, a friend of mine came by to see me... she lives 4 doors down from the laundromat. I wish she never left. I REALLY do wish she didn't.
Remember that customer that I talked about in the past... the one that would always bring me a beverage and a snack? Yeah well, he came back today. I thought he would leave before my friend did but sadly, his wash was on the first rinse cycle. When he entered the laundromat (before the friend came by) he didn't start a conversation nor did he bring me a drink. I thought I was safe and that he gave up on trying to "impress" me. I was wrong. Lately, I have been wrong a lot with my predictions. I don't even know why I bother to think that these people will change, it only leads to disappointment as well as the urge to just stab them in the eye or force feed them a box of Tide and hope that they never approach me. Sadly, the stabbing and Tide poisoning is illegal...
Anyways, I thought I was in the clear until the friend left. He came up to me, cleared his throat and said "I smell apple." I was tempted to say "I smell you" but I didn't know if that would get him excited or not. That's another thing... I have to watch what I say to people or they will take it the wrong way. Instead of saying what I thought, I just told him "I don't smell apple. As a matter of fact, I smell bleach." He said "oh yeah yeah yeah, it might be that." I continued to ignore him and I would answer with a "yes" or a "no". He asked me if I wanted to go to the park with him and I told him "No. It's cold and I am going to a gym." He asked which gym and I told him "sorry, I don't share that with customers. I see you guys in here, I don't want to see you at my gym." He then told me if I wanted help, I should ask him... I pointed out that there are trainers at the gym. Then he went into a conversation about my co-worker and how she works hard and to that I replied "she better. She is getting paid." He laughed and then he asked me if I found a job yet. I thought *Hey! Apparently you missed the Obvious Bus! I'M STILL HERE!* but I went with the short answer "no". He clears his throat once again and he starts to flex his legs. He points out once again that he is running every morning in the park but I just told him "oh, I thought you have an involuntary muscle spasm." He didn't understand what that meant and he asked me what I meant... I decided to ignore the question and say "well, the loo is calling me... I'll talk to you later." It was a lie.
Notice how I have been failing at my predictions AND lying to customers? I have reached to the lowest levels of the low scale. -sighs- Meh, I'll be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn't have to deal with any longer.
On another note, I accidentally locked myself out of the office... I had to jump over the counter. It happens once in a while but that's what I get when I exit one door and enter through another. I could yell at myself but I think it's best if I save my energy for the incompetent morons that need the yelling.
Remember that customer that I talked about in the past... the one that would always bring me a beverage and a snack? Yeah well, he came back today. I thought he would leave before my friend did but sadly, his wash was on the first rinse cycle. When he entered the laundromat (before the friend came by) he didn't start a conversation nor did he bring me a drink. I thought I was safe and that he gave up on trying to "impress" me. I was wrong. Lately, I have been wrong a lot with my predictions. I don't even know why I bother to think that these people will change, it only leads to disappointment as well as the urge to just stab them in the eye or force feed them a box of Tide and hope that they never approach me. Sadly, the stabbing and Tide poisoning is illegal...
Anyways, I thought I was in the clear until the friend left. He came up to me, cleared his throat and said "I smell apple." I was tempted to say "I smell you" but I didn't know if that would get him excited or not. That's another thing... I have to watch what I say to people or they will take it the wrong way. Instead of saying what I thought, I just told him "I don't smell apple. As a matter of fact, I smell bleach." He said "oh yeah yeah yeah, it might be that." I continued to ignore him and I would answer with a "yes" or a "no". He asked me if I wanted to go to the park with him and I told him "No. It's cold and I am going to a gym." He asked which gym and I told him "sorry, I don't share that with customers. I see you guys in here, I don't want to see you at my gym." He then told me if I wanted help, I should ask him... I pointed out that there are trainers at the gym. Then he went into a conversation about my co-worker and how she works hard and to that I replied "she better. She is getting paid." He laughed and then he asked me if I found a job yet. I thought *Hey! Apparently you missed the Obvious Bus! I'M STILL HERE!* but I went with the short answer "no". He clears his throat once again and he starts to flex his legs. He points out once again that he is running every morning in the park but I just told him "oh, I thought you have an involuntary muscle spasm." He didn't understand what that meant and he asked me what I meant... I decided to ignore the question and say "well, the loo is calling me... I'll talk to you later." It was a lie.
Notice how I have been failing at my predictions AND lying to customers? I have reached to the lowest levels of the low scale. -sighs- Meh, I'll be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn't have to deal with any longer.
On another note, I accidentally locked myself out of the office... I had to jump over the counter. It happens once in a while but that's what I get when I exit one door and enter through another. I could yell at myself but I think it's best if I save my energy for the incompetent morons that need the yelling.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
SUNDAY FUNNIES
Today is Sunday... a day that I can sit back and relax. Oh and prepare myself for the week. Of course it is 1 am but hey... better a post early then not at all! Truth is, I can't sleep. My walls are vibrating because of the club next door and I think they know I am calling so they aren't picking up their phones. Yoda would say, asshats they are. Plus, I will not be around for most of the day tomorrow.
You know, the best day of the week is Saturday. Its the last day of the week I have to deal with incompetent morons. When Sunday comes around, I dread Monday. Monday and Thursday are the two worst day's of the week. Why? Well on Monday people come into the laundromat fully energized and excited. By excited I mean that they are ready to pick a fight or hit some machines due to anger issues. Thursdays are bad because I have customers that don't even belong to me because other laundromats are closed... so I'm dealing with people that don't know how to speak English and people who think that the washer will work with the door open. If I see someone attempt to start a washer without closing the door I will ask them "do you think your clothing is claustrophobic?" and go from there.
It really is mind boggling and many people tell me I have patience. I nod and smile at that remark only because sometimes it isn't true. I will yell at people if I have to and make threats if the job gets done. As a matter of fact, my co-worker told me that a lot of the Spanish customers think I am an angry person. Well... of course I am! If you don't understand English and I don't understand Spanish, there will be a bit of hostility. Then again if I am making hand signals and flailing my arms while talking to them in a language they don't understand, they will probably think I am trying to kill them. Hell, I would be frightened too AND think that the person belongs in a room with four padded walls.
I once had a customer tell me I had the easiest job since I get to sit around sometimes. While he was telling me that, a customer came up to me telling me that his keys got stuck in the soap hole. I turned to the other customer that was lecturing me on my job and said "so, you think my job is easy?" he said "I take it back. You are dealing with morons." I replied "I glad I had an example walk up to us at the right time." I grabbed my screwdriver and skipped to the washer.... to only find out that the keys entered the actual washer. I told the customer "feel free to put the keys in your mouth, they will be bacteria free!" and I walked away. The key customer laughed and thought that my suggestion was adorable. On the bright side, he didn't ask me to perform a sexual gesture!
With that being said,
ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY EVERYONE!
Also, if you are reading this blog and liking it, don't be afraid! Follow me! I swear I really don't bite!
-LG
You know, the best day of the week is Saturday. Its the last day of the week I have to deal with incompetent morons. When Sunday comes around, I dread Monday. Monday and Thursday are the two worst day's of the week. Why? Well on Monday people come into the laundromat fully energized and excited. By excited I mean that they are ready to pick a fight or hit some machines due to anger issues. Thursdays are bad because I have customers that don't even belong to me because other laundromats are closed... so I'm dealing with people that don't know how to speak English and people who think that the washer will work with the door open. If I see someone attempt to start a washer without closing the door I will ask them "do you think your clothing is claustrophobic?" and go from there.
It really is mind boggling and many people tell me I have patience. I nod and smile at that remark only because sometimes it isn't true. I will yell at people if I have to and make threats if the job gets done. As a matter of fact, my co-worker told me that a lot of the Spanish customers think I am an angry person. Well... of course I am! If you don't understand English and I don't understand Spanish, there will be a bit of hostility. Then again if I am making hand signals and flailing my arms while talking to them in a language they don't understand, they will probably think I am trying to kill them. Hell, I would be frightened too AND think that the person belongs in a room with four padded walls.
I once had a customer tell me I had the easiest job since I get to sit around sometimes. While he was telling me that, a customer came up to me telling me that his keys got stuck in the soap hole. I turned to the other customer that was lecturing me on my job and said "so, you think my job is easy?" he said "I take it back. You are dealing with morons." I replied "I glad I had an example walk up to us at the right time." I grabbed my screwdriver and skipped to the washer.... to only find out that the keys entered the actual washer. I told the customer "feel free to put the keys in your mouth, they will be bacteria free!" and I walked away. The key customer laughed and thought that my suggestion was adorable. On the bright side, he didn't ask me to perform a sexual gesture!
With that being said,
ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY EVERYONE!
Also, if you are reading this blog and liking it, don't be afraid! Follow me! I swear I really don't bite!
-LG
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I NEED CLEAN
I thought I was going to have a calm Saturday after the tablecloth lady but no. I was introduced to the most stupidest person on this Earth. I will call him the Fail Guy. He deserves that title!!
What did he do?
Many things. This is how it goes:
Failguy: I need clean.
Me: Excuse me?
FG: -mumbles-
Me: -snaps- What?
FG: You have clean?
Me: -points to the soap- You need soap?
FG: -nods-
Me: Which one?
FG: Tide
Me: Okee... 6.50
After giving me the money he left and I thought "that wasn't so bad... he won't bother me again". Five minutes later:
FG: Clean no work.
Me: What?
FG: 18 clean no work wrong
Me: Is something broken? Did you break something?
FG: no clean no clean!
Me: Okay, okay... show me!
So he takes me to the washer and he says that he put the coins and soap in the wrong washer. This is how it all unraveled:
FG: Clean in wrong machine
Me: You put money in here too?
FG: Yes, 2.50
Me: I can't give you your money back. I don't even know if you really put it in there! Plus, I am not going to pay for your mistake!
FG: ok, give me free clean!
Me: No! I am NOT responsible for your mistake! It is YOUR fault! You should have paid attention. You need to pay attention to what you are doing.
FG: I need clean.
Me: I will sell it to you.
FG: Give me discount.
Me: No, I am not going to be responsible for your wrong doing! No discount for you!
Finally he starts to put money in the right washer and he comes to buy soap. He is about to walk away with it for free but I told him to come back and pay. He did pay. I thought that after that, he wouldn't bother me again... he did.
FG: Clean no work
Me: What?
FG: 18 no work
Me: Ugh! Show me!
Me: You didn't close the door!
FG: OH okay!
His friend was sitting down and tells me "he is stupid." I replied "no shit". And we left it at that.
Oh and if you were wondering, "clean" used by him means soap and washing machine at the same time.
So, when can I grow a new set of brain cells?
What did he do?
Many things. This is how it goes:
Failguy: I need clean.
Me: Excuse me?
FG: -mumbles-
Me: -snaps- What?
FG: You have clean?
Me: -points to the soap- You need soap?
FG: -nods-
Me: Which one?
FG: Tide
Me: Okee... 6.50
After giving me the money he left and I thought "that wasn't so bad... he won't bother me again". Five minutes later:
FG: Clean no work.
Me: What?
FG: 18 clean no work wrong
Me: Is something broken? Did you break something?
FG: no clean no clean!
Me: Okay, okay... show me!
So he takes me to the washer and he says that he put the coins and soap in the wrong washer. This is how it all unraveled:
FG: Clean in wrong machine
Me: You put money in here too?
FG: Yes, 2.50
Me: I can't give you your money back. I don't even know if you really put it in there! Plus, I am not going to pay for your mistake!
FG: ok, give me free clean!
Me: No! I am NOT responsible for your mistake! It is YOUR fault! You should have paid attention. You need to pay attention to what you are doing.
FG: I need clean.
Me: I will sell it to you.
FG: Give me discount.
Me: No, I am not going to be responsible for your wrong doing! No discount for you!
Finally he starts to put money in the right washer and he comes to buy soap. He is about to walk away with it for free but I told him to come back and pay. He did pay. I thought that after that, he wouldn't bother me again... he did.
FG: Clean no work
Me: What?
FG: 18 no work
Me: Ugh! Show me!
Me: You didn't close the door!
FG: OH okay!
His friend was sitting down and tells me "he is stupid." I replied "no shit". And we left it at that.
Oh and if you were wondering, "clean" used by him means soap and washing machine at the same time.
So, when can I grow a new set of brain cells?
POST HOLIDAYS
On Christmas Eve, people asked me what I asked from Santa and I told them two things.
1. I am the x amount of age and Santa is just a figment of a child's imagination. Plus he is just there to make kids happy and to make himself happy too (if you know what I mean...).
2. If a Santa DID exist, I would want my sanity back along with a day at a spa.
OH and some people got offended when I said this "NO MORE STUPID CUSTOMERS!"
It's a shame though. I was right. Santa does not exist because I DON'T have my sanity back and because the x amount of stupid customers doubles today, after Christmas. This may be Karma's doing.
A customer walked up to while she huffed and puffed and demanded I remove the stains from her "precious" table cloth. Mind you, there was not one stain or two... there were over 20... in different colors and judging by the smell, different flavors. I asked her how long the stains were sent on for and she said "some are from yesterday and the rest are from the past years." I could not help but ask her "did you use the same dirty cloth yesterday?" and she responded with an attitude "yes".
I explained to her that last years stains will not come off because the oils and coloring from the food products are already set in. I told her that she shouldn't have waited a year or more to clean. So she had the nerve to yell into my face "I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION. I ASKED YOU TO CLEAN IT. " I thought to myself, nasty bitch, don't yell at me; however I told her "ma'am, please take your stained cloth and exit the premises. Your attitude and business is not appreciated here." She then went on and on about how rude I am and how I should bow down to her. So what accidental slipped my mouth? This... "You obviously didn't get laid on Christmas morning" After saying that, I just gasped and laughed. I think she got really annoyed at me (or the truth) and left.
So that is how I get rid of people like that? I will make note of that.
Normally I am nice and I "behave" but she deserved what I told her.
Also, I had four or five customers bang the machines today. An Arabic Muslim told me that if he can't put the quarters in, then I can't because I am a female. I told him "hit my machine again and I will SHOW you what a female can do to a male!" I put the quarters in the machine for him and after I told him "guess it takes some education to realize that you have to put the quarters in the slot and not in the coin return" and I walked away. His friend was laughing at him. I was too. Another one was a repeat offender and I told her "stop banging the machine! Go to a boxing class if you have built of anger" She laughed. She knows I mean well and she apologized saying that she forgot. Thankfully not all of my customers are stupid... I will classify this one as forgetful.
A customer brought me home baked cookies, which were yummy.
Hopefully the New Year will enlighten people.
1. I am the x amount of age and Santa is just a figment of a child's imagination. Plus he is just there to make kids happy and to make himself happy too (if you know what I mean...).
2. If a Santa DID exist, I would want my sanity back along with a day at a spa.
OH and some people got offended when I said this "NO MORE STUPID CUSTOMERS!"
It's a shame though. I was right. Santa does not exist because I DON'T have my sanity back and because the x amount of stupid customers doubles today, after Christmas. This may be Karma's doing.
A customer walked up to while she huffed and puffed and demanded I remove the stains from her "precious" table cloth. Mind you, there was not one stain or two... there were over 20... in different colors and judging by the smell, different flavors. I asked her how long the stains were sent on for and she said "some are from yesterday and the rest are from the past years." I could not help but ask her "did you use the same dirty cloth yesterday?" and she responded with an attitude "yes".
I explained to her that last years stains will not come off because the oils and coloring from the food products are already set in. I told her that she shouldn't have waited a year or more to clean. So she had the nerve to yell into my face "I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION. I ASKED YOU TO CLEAN IT. " I thought to myself, nasty bitch, don't yell at me; however I told her "ma'am, please take your stained cloth and exit the premises. Your attitude and business is not appreciated here." She then went on and on about how rude I am and how I should bow down to her. So what accidental slipped my mouth? This... "You obviously didn't get laid on Christmas morning" After saying that, I just gasped and laughed. I think she got really annoyed at me (or the truth) and left.
So that is how I get rid of people like that? I will make note of that.
Normally I am nice and I "behave" but she deserved what I told her.
Also, I had four or five customers bang the machines today. An Arabic Muslim told me that if he can't put the quarters in, then I can't because I am a female. I told him "hit my machine again and I will SHOW you what a female can do to a male!" I put the quarters in the machine for him and after I told him "guess it takes some education to realize that you have to put the quarters in the slot and not in the coin return" and I walked away. His friend was laughing at him. I was too. Another one was a repeat offender and I told her "stop banging the machine! Go to a boxing class if you have built of anger" She laughed. She knows I mean well and she apologized saying that she forgot. Thankfully not all of my customers are stupid... I will classify this one as forgetful.
A customer brought me home baked cookies, which were yummy.
Hopefully the New Year will enlighten people.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
TIS THE SEASON TO BE...
THANKFUL!
Why? Well see... people are doing last minute shopping which means they do not have enough time to do laundry which means that they are not bothering me. Today was easy peasy! Tomorrow will be crazy though. Expect stories.
Also, check out this blog:
http://areyouseriouscupid.blogspot.com/
I recommend it!
Why? Well see... people are doing last minute shopping which means they do not have enough time to do laundry which means that they are not bothering me. Today was easy peasy! Tomorrow will be crazy though. Expect stories.
Also, check out this blog:
http://areyouseriouscupid.blogspot.com/
I recommend it!
Monday, December 21, 2009
REPEAT OFFENDER
A couple of months ago, I thought a male was cute because of his eyes.. but in the end, he stole my hangers. As a matter of fact, I gave him the douche bag title for demeaning me. I asked him many times to not call me sweetie. After that night, I thought he would be gone for good. I was wrong.
He showed up tonight 10 minutes before the 8pm cutoff. He asked me if I can wash his laundry and I said "No." My friend Rob was here and he was just laughing. He said he would pay me, the douche bag that is, and I told him the same answer as above. As a matter of fact, with an attitude, with hopes of getting rid of him, I told him that I close at 9pm on the dot. He ignored me I think. He put his crap into the washer and stepped out to purchase soap. He came back after 5 minutes and asked me if I can put his stuff in the dryer, the answer remained the same. He said he would pay me extra and I kept telling him "no." I should have told him that I am not a laundry prostitute.
Anyways, when he comes back, the conversation went like this:
Douchebag: You are beautiful.
Me: Thanks.
Dbag: You got a boyfriend?
Me: I'm married actually.
Dbag: Want to go into the fitting room?
Me: Judging by your height, their is nothing there. I'm married.
He walks away but before that he asks me what time I am closing. Normally, I don't hate people. As a matter of fact, I enjoy them... with the exception of the stupid ones... but people like this d-bag, I do NOT tolerate.
-sigh-
Speaking of Rob, we had a debated conversation about whether or not, not-attractive is the same as ugly. My opinion is that they are two different things. Not-attractive include everything for me.. from personality to turn ons/off. If the individual has more turn-offs than turn-ons, then I am NOT attracted to that person. However, if the person looks like they have been hit by a bus several times and a lion went to eat his/her face... then he/she is ugly.
He showed up tonight 10 minutes before the 8pm cutoff. He asked me if I can wash his laundry and I said "No." My friend Rob was here and he was just laughing. He said he would pay me, the douche bag that is, and I told him the same answer as above. As a matter of fact, with an attitude, with hopes of getting rid of him, I told him that I close at 9pm on the dot. He ignored me I think. He put his crap into the washer and stepped out to purchase soap. He came back after 5 minutes and asked me if I can put his stuff in the dryer, the answer remained the same. He said he would pay me extra and I kept telling him "no." I should have told him that I am not a laundry prostitute.
Anyways, when he comes back, the conversation went like this:
Douchebag: You are beautiful.
Me: Thanks.
Dbag: You got a boyfriend?
Me: I'm married actually.
Dbag: Want to go into the fitting room?
Me: Judging by your height, their is nothing there. I'm married.
He walks away but before that he asks me what time I am closing. Normally, I don't hate people. As a matter of fact, I enjoy them... with the exception of the stupid ones... but people like this d-bag, I do NOT tolerate.
-sigh-
Speaking of Rob, we had a debated conversation about whether or not, not-attractive is the same as ugly. My opinion is that they are two different things. Not-attractive include everything for me.. from personality to turn ons/off. If the individual has more turn-offs than turn-ons, then I am NOT attracted to that person. However, if the person looks like they have been hit by a bus several times and a lion went to eat his/her face... then he/she is ugly.
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