BRA SUICIDE

So two morons walk into a laundromat....

I need to make a joke that starts out like that...

Really though, two morons did walk into my store today, considering it is relatively quiet. Then again, when don't they walk in?

Let me start of with the bra suicide.

For those of you who do laundry or wear bra's, you will know that sometimes the bra clasp thingy gets stuck in the drying holes of the dryer. It is normal. It happens. Sometimes the bra gets destroyed, other times it just hangs there. This one female customer started screaming like a bloody banshee (I feel the English accent coming out of me) that her bra is stuck and won't come out. First off, never scream in a laundromat because three things come to mind:
1. You let your child go in the dryer for a ride and the child is now burned
2. You managed to somehow mutilate your hand from our machines
3. There is a fire..

The third one would sound more legit but the first one could happen... you never know, there are twisted parent's out there that decide "hey! I will let my child go in so it can have fun while I fold in one peace" followed by "OMG OMG OMG AHHHHHHHHHHH MY CHILD IS BURNING". Anywhoots, back to the story...
So she yelled and I walked in a fast pace to the drying area to only find her arm in the dryer trying to unlatch (if that is a word) the bra from the drying holes. She had an attitude with me and she kinda made it seem like it was my fault. I tried my hardest to not laugh. I tried to show some sympathy and I finally unlatched the bra from the drying holes for her and she didn't even thank me! So I blurted out "your bra tried to commit suicide and I might know why." She didn't bother to ask why but she flashed me a glare. Hey, I was trying to be funny by mocking her with a minor and subtle insult. Maybe it was a good thing she didn't ask why... wouldn't want to lose a customer... Hey, maybe it was her favorite bra or something!

Here is a tip to avoid a problem like the lady above, buy a small garment bra bag. They usually go for $2.99- $8.00 depending where you get it from. I would avoid the ones from Bed, Bath and Beyond only because after 4 uses, the plastic ring comes out. Make sure it is the zippered bag too! The zipper eliminates any tangling among washed or drying clothing. It is a good investment and the bras don't lose their structure.

A male walked in today asking what our dry cleaning prices were. I told him the prices and he told me it was too much and that other places were cheaper. I told him he could go to those places if that's the price he wants. He left and then came back after 2 minutes. He comes back and asks me what the wash and press prices were and I told him. He said that he wanted the wash and press service to begin with and I pointed out that he said he wanted dry cleaning. He didn't say anything about him being wrong but instead he asked if we add starch, to which I replied yes. After counting his shirts and pants, I made his tickets and told him that they would be ready on Thursday. He went to give me his laundry bag and this is what went on:

Customer: You keep my bag?
LG: No. We don't keep the laundry bags for the dry cleaning. You need to take it with you because we have our own bags to put the clothing in.
Customer: So where you put clothes now? (he didn't speak perfect English)
LG: Oh! We have own bags but before that, we put it in that basket. (I pointed to the basket)
Customer: Professionals put clothes in the bag.
LG: But we don't need the bag.
Customer: So I have to carry the bag with me?
LG: Yes and next time, you can just put the clothes in a plastic shopping bag. We recycle those and you wouldn't have to carry a bag around.
Customer: That is no professional. Professional places hold bag and then put bag on hanger with dry cleaning.
(I hand him his tickets and he puts them in his pocket)
LG: Well, we don't do that only because we have so many packages.
(Customer is lingering around and fondling his laundry bag. Mind you I was nice and calm until he started the attitude, which is now)
Customer: YOU NO PROFESSIONAL!
LG: Well, okay sir. If you would like, you can take back your clothing and take it to the place that is professional. Keep in mind, you left from that place to come here for a reason. We offer good service.
Customer: Yes, I take my clothes back, gimme.
(He pulls out the tickets I gave him and he starts to stuff his laundry bag with the clothing)
LG: Also, do know that hanging a bag to give back after the cleaning is done, is not professional and that you are leaving because of a bag, which is fine. We are professional but I guess you want that little extra "oomph" which is fine. There is reason why we can't hang the bag for you. I hope you have a good and pleasant day and I am sorry we couldn't help you. Have a good one.

Of course he got pissed at me being super nice and I bet what he mumbled in his language was a curse word towards me or something, which I found pretty funny. What was even more entertaining was the customer waiting behind him tells me "He must be a dumb fuck, you guys are the best!"

Go figure.