CAN I HAZ A QUATERZ?

I really wasn't going to end up with a title but for today's blog, I just had to... especially since the incident just happened....


Customer: I need quarters.

LLG: How much do you need in quarters? I am out of singles for the machine.

Customer: Quarters please

LLG: How much?

Customer: Oh um I just need a five dollar bill and five singles.

LLG: I don't have singles for the machine. I have a 5 dollar bill... but if you need a dollar or two in quarters I can...

-I got cut off-

Customer: I just need 5 dollars.

LLG: Okies, here's two 5s.

Customer: I need quarters.

LLG: (I hold in a big sigh) The machine. It has quarters.

Customer: Oh right! Sorry, I have a stiff neck today.

I held a comment back and the comment was "whats your excuse for your brain?" but I didn't... this customer has been coming to us for quite a while. As a matter of fact, she became so comfortable with us that she told me and my other worker that she got a breast reduction and that her chest and back feel better. TMI? Why yes... yes it is... do I care? Absolutely not. I just sat there nodding and smile and throwing in an occasional "well, that's good!". What am I supposed to do? Ask if I could touch them? If that is the case then I would gladly pass. This is the same customer by the way that set the dryer on fire. It was a minor fire, nothing big. She tried to blame it on us until I revealed to her that plastic objects can not be placed in the dryer. Especially when the directions for it say "flammable- keep away from fire". Her Ralph Lauren towels caught a bit of the minor "fire" residue and started saying how WE ruined HER towels... Bitch, you ruined our dryer... She was whining and complaining so just to get her to shut the hell up, I offered to wash her towels to remove the stain. (I'm proud for being diplomatic at that time because it saved me a headache). A week later she shows up with RL towels again, you know the ones with the bear from Macy's that are expensive as well as a receipt. Before she could hand me the receipt, I handed her good as new but old towels. She was pissed under that fake smile and thank you. Maybe she lacks common sense... then again, she does have a stiff neck and lacking a percentage of her brain.

Approximately two hours ago, a customer approached me to notify me that his washer wasn't working. Here I thought *oh great, another one that can't figure out how to latch the door* but boy was a wrong... somewhat... trust me, the story gets better. I explained to him that the washer he was using, was out of order but the a child must have removed it. Previously to his arrival, 3 little monsters were running around. Don't get me wrong I LOVE CHILDREN but there is a place and time to run and the laundromat is not a park. The children must have removed the out of order sign since that has happened before (a child removing the sign). Now, I instructed the customer to remove his clothing and to put it in the washer that's right next to the broken one and while he did that, I was going to retrieve 7 quarters to give to him to start up the washer. I come back to see him using the washer that was out of order. My words "OMG NO! DON'T USE THAT WASHER!" It was more of a panic and disappointment than screaming... I swear. He got frightened to the point where he thought the washer was going to explode. I told him why it was out of order and he said he wasn't mad at me. (I don't think I would care if he was.) I let him was in the broken washer and told him it would take longer than 28 minutes. He said it was fine and ye walked off.

Once at the counter, the stiff necked lady approaches me and asks me for the key to the bathroom and I gave it to her. She returns saying that she had great difficulty using the bathroom because of her neck. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Know. That.

42 minutes to go until I close. Help.

-LLG


Update: I had to post this... stiff neck lady had lectured me a long time ago about the liquid I use to mop up the floor. Today, as she was leaving- in an exciting voice she said "Hey! That's good, you change the liquid you used to use!" I shattered her happiness (happily) and told her "no, it's the same thing" She replied "Oh maybe it dried then and it has a lighter smell"... hey, crazy lady... the floor is wet and thank you for stepping on my clean floor. Have a great night and I hope you have nightmares about the liquid I use. Four more minutes before I close...