THE RELIGIOUS ONE

I don't have a problem with religion. I have my beliefs and I respect other people's beliefs too. I used to have a customer that would come on a weekly basis to do her laundry and she would lecture me for the whole time that she was here how St. Anthony is her angel and that when she loses something, she would ask him for help. She would also tell me that I should go church hopping and find a big group of Christians that would help me through my times. Confused, I asked her “what times?” and she said “we all have our times where we need people.” My question to her was “well, isn’t that what friends and family is for?” To which she replied “yes but being in a group of people that believe in the man upstairs is very powerful.” I agreed with her for the hell of agreeing and just to make her stop really. She would always approach me with the bible and would read me and excerpt.

For a while she had stopped coming and to be honest with all of you, I have thought about her and where she is until one night… she came into the Laundromat as I was closing (what is it with people paying me a visit as I am closing shop?). She came in all giddy and in a loud voice (mind you I was standing in front of her) she say “HI! HOW ARE YOU?!” At first I got scared because my back was to her and then I thought to myself *well fuck, she had to come now as I am closing!?* She has a mouth on her and she can talk for hours without stopping. She asked me how I was, what I am up to, and how a friend of mine in Texas is doing. My friend that moved to Texas used to do laundry in this place and sometimes, the religious lady would be around and talk to us until it was time for all of us to leave. So I updated her with a couple of short words hoping she got the point but she continued on about her life and how she has visited many churches in the NY area. She also mentioned that she learned another language and how St. Anthony helped her. That was my cue to say “oh! I remember you telling me how close you were to him”, which I did but she didn’t stop. She decided to continue about this saint and how great he is as well as that I should pray to him. I was polite but I had to end the conversation by saying “it was nice seeing you! Pass by again!” The pass by again was a big mistake. She paid a visit to me the next night and even brought food for herself since she was “famished.” A customer came to the rescue saying that a dryer was broken so I told her it was nice seeing her once again and I did NOT tell her to pass by again.

Why me?