WHY ISN'T THERE A FULL MOON OUT?

... And if there is one out tonight, then that will explain the behavior of my customers. Where shall I start from?... From the beginning of the day would be good...

Believe it or not, folding can be relaxing at times. When I fold, I listen to my music and i just fold to the beat. Time passes by faster and I am in my own world. Today I didn't have music. Instead I had the sound of the dryers and a belt hitting up against the washer door. I felt like turning the washer off just to remove the "clanking" sound but I tuned it out eventually. A customer approached me for the fourth time this week looking for the seamstress. Before I get into the conversation he and I had, let me give you a bit of a background on him.

This perverted gentleman (if that is even possible) is a little bit over 6 feet tall and must weigh around 125 pounds. He is as thin as a toothpick. He is from Romania and has a heavy accent with a well trimmed beard. He is also a VERY nervous person and very punctual. Tell him "soon" and he would say "I need a precise time". I would say "Fuck you" but I fear he would ask for an exact time, an exact place, and the exact date. Oh and he must be in his early 60's or 70's.

For the past three days, today being the fourth- he would come around asking for the seamstress and for the past three days I would give him the exact times she would be here. He always missed her by 10-20 minutes. Unfortunately, I had to deal with him. Today he decided to wait for the seamstress's arrival and decided to ask me some questions to "get to know me." Now, I was so into what I was doing and I didn't bother to give him much attention let alone turn on my witt... I thought "hey, this guy is old... what can he possibly do?"... well... this is what went on:

Cust: I always see you here. Do you have hobbies?
LG: Yes.
Cust: Well, what are they?
LG: Oh, art, photography, sports, and video games.
-starts to talk about art and music-
Cust: You say you like video games?
LG: Yes
Cust: Like what? Cooking? Sports? Music? Sex?
-note the sex-
LG: Uh... Rpg, Fp.....
Cust: Oh, you no like sex video games?
LG:.... that... that doesn't exist...
Cust: Oh well you know uhuhmmm hahah hmmm

At this point my mouth is slightly open with what felt to be like a WHAT THE FUCK face. The first thing that came to my mind was this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

Straight from the best of Craig's list. I feel like printing it out and giving it to this guy. Anywhoots, seeing that I didn't have anything to say he said "well, I will let you finish your work."
I have come to the conclusion that 80% of the old people are perverted and or crazy...
Crazy is up next.

I have a customer that has been coming to us since day one. I never really speak to her but there is the occasional greetings and asking of one anothers well being. Recently, she has been bringing her mother to the laundromat and she has been scaring me. This is rare, for a human to scare me. It's not her looks or anything but it's the fact that she is always talking and chanting to herself. When I am around, she does this while looking at me, which when she does look at me, I go to a mirror to look at myself to see if there is anything wrong. She makes me paranoid. Today, she didn't stop looking at me at all. She even walked around the laundromat and came back to my folding table and just stood there.... mumbling something in Spanish and looking straight ahead. I asked her if she needed anything and she said "Nuh" and went back to her daughter. After fifteen minutes, I proceed to the front to assist a customer with something. When I go back to the folding tables, she stands right where I was standing while I was folding... I told her "excuse me, but I need this table... its has the clothes on it." She just looked at me and then went back to her daughter. Eerie is an understatement I think.... Where's my blanket? Something about old people today and it doesn't stop here! Read on!

This lady, I have wrote about her. She is the one who doesn't understand that I don't speak English and she always arrives to the laundromat with a home attendant. Well, today after telling her 4 or 90million times that I don't speak Spanish, she picked up her cane and I think she threatened me. She was shaking her cane at me in an angry voice.

At this point I went from relaxed to slightly irritated. I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. If I did speak Spanish I would tell her "Shake your cane at me one more time and I will shove it so far up your ass, you would need a wheelchair to help you." Oops! Did I say I was slightly irritated... sorry, I'm pissed off!

The day gets better for you readers but worse for me. Remember, today is also Thursday which means I am dealing with people that really aren't my customers.

After my break, I go back to work to only find out that one of my customers is drunk and won't stop talking. As a matter of fact, she manages to scare a little boy AND be bitchy towards me. She was bitchy because she was cranky and she was cranky because she is a waitress. I know how it is BUT its not that hard to move a bay carriage away from the washer. That is what she was bitchy about. A baby carriage blocking her washer. She came to ask me to move it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!? She could have moved it herself and when I told her I didn't want to move because there is a child in there, she replied "so I have to stand around all day until the lady comes back?" to which I kindly said "she took her son to the restroom. She won't be long." Then she started to blab and at that point, I just moved it to get it over with. When the lady came out of the restroom, she gave me a weird look and that is when I explained to her what happened. The crazy drunk lady decided to add her input by saying "I was a bitch to her." I had nothing to say to her... I just went along my business. A customer came and complained to me that she wouldn't shut up and to tell her something and I pointed out the whole freedom of speech thing and how you can't really tame drunk people... especially when they are mean drunks. I classified her as a mean one. She was at the laundromat for three hours straight and she only had two loads of laundry... go figure... oh and her husband abusive too but I will leave that story for another day.

Next up on the insane-o-mobile we have the guy who can't function the dryer and states that it is broken. He comes storming up to me in his bumble bee type sweater and starts yelling at me in Spanish. I let him finish and then I asked him kindly to tell me what the problem is in ENGLISH. He got pissed at that. Ladies and gentleman, never assume someone is or speaks Spanish. I went to check out his dryer to only point out to the fuckin retard that he had it on warm the whole time. He continued to yell and scream at me and I asked him to relax and calm down and he says "Calm down!? How can I calm down?! My clothes aren't dry"... I said "Sir, next time pay attention to what you press. YOU are at fault. NOT me." I walked away. I didn't want to deal with him anymore. He just started to rant again in Spanish to someone that speaks Spanish and that customer told the crazy one that the dryers are working right and he isn't. I win.

Lastly, I locked up late tonight because people like to have clothing fights with each other. Nothing says "FUN" like thongs and boxers being tossed around. DO THAT AGAIN AND ILL THROW YOU OUT INTO TRAFFIC.

I need a bath.

Good night.