ASSASSIN MONDAY

Sorry for not posting the past two days. I decided to have a life on Saturday and Sunday. Oh yeah, I also caught up on sleep on Sunday. 2009 owed me. It still owes me more hours of sleep.

Anyways, it was and still is an animal house today in the asylum. Not fun stuff. People threatening other people's lives for washers and of course I was arguing with a whale over pre-wash vs. final rinse. Oh yes, I feel like I stooped to a new low in this Laundromat life.

The other Laundromat did not open today. I am going to assume the following reasons:

Reason 1: It's Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Reason 2: They screwed themselves over by not renewing their license.

I am leaning more towards reason numero 2. I have all of the animals here today in this barn! Noah would be proud... this is where you just nod and smile...

Customer A was putting his wash into the washer. Customer B comes along and wants the washer Customer A is using. Customer A ignores Customer B. Customer B gets angry at customer A. Customer A continues to ignore Customer B that is until Customer B decides to shove Customer A's cart away. Customer A tells the other customer "excuse me, but that wasn't nice" and the other customer replies "I don't care. I want da washer now." The funny thing is Customer A is a male and Customer B is a female. Customer A continues to ignore Customer B and that is when the female yells "give me the washer now or I will kill you." That was my queue to go in there and be the peace maker. The last thing I need is to fill out paper work from the cops... the blood is the least of my worries.

The mission: Create peace among two hostile customers.
Strategy: Accommodate both customers.
Weapons: Words.

After five minutes, the mission was complete. I told Customer B to cool it and that I will give her two washers that were better than the two she wanted. I felt like a pre-school teacher telling a child that her cookie is better than the other child's cookie because her cookie has magical powers...-sigh- Customer A decided to remain civil. Customer A deserved a cookie. After Customer B settled in, she came over and told me "I ain't like no bitches takin mah stuff" and after she said that, she made that teeth sucking sound. I told her "the washers do not belong to you. They belong to the Laundromat and the general public. When one is taken, you need to find another one." She turned to me and gave me that look. You know, -the- look... the one where half the lip is up, the nose is scrunched, and the eyes are bugged out... -that- look.

I continued to drink my ginger ale and hoped that they don't take the feud to the dryers as well as Customer A not getting killed. Paper work is a pain in the ass, seriously.

Then I had a customer complain to me that we don't have the pre-wash option. I pointed out to her that we have the final rinse option. Final rinse is better than the pre-wash and I gave her the reasoning. The final rinse rinses out the excess soap and that allows the clothing to be soap free. That is why the softener bottles also say "for better results, pour softener into the final rinse cycle"... or something like that. If the bottle doesn't say that, do it! The clothing comes out so much better! This whale decided to project stupid logic out of her mouth. She said "the pre-wash is far better because it gets that extra soap in there and it removes all the dirt." I told her "False! See, the more soap you put in your clothes, it will be less likely that they will get washed." She looked baffled and had nothing to say to that.

After her wash was done, she was observing her clothing carefully. She turns to me with a smirk and says "so you guys have a final rinse and not a pre-wash, why?" -face roll- I told her what I explained to her before and with a smile she says "I think I like this better." I felt like asking "then bitch, why did you give me a fuckin hard time?" It was a hard time. I had 20+ customers in the Laundromat, a couple of people waiting for washers, a death threat going on, and then the whale with her lack of common sense... maybe hearing too. Oh yeah, the kids too.....

Kids have been running around all day because they are out of school. I won't be surprised if I don't have much of a voice tomorrow. All day I have been yelling "NO RUNNING!" and at one point I yelled at a parent "put your kids on a leash!” I don't know if I should be thankful or not that she didn't understand English... Parenting is hard but if you are at a Laundromat and you have a stroller, straps you friggin kid in it! If it cries, give it a damn cookie or a toy! This isn't a playground. If the child falls and breaks something, the parent will blame it on me and that is when I will say "no lady/sir, it is YOUR fault because YOU FAILED at parenting.”

-takes a deep breath-

You know what, if I had kids and I needed to go to the Laundromat, I wouldn't bring them with me. I would leave them with a family member or my husband. If that isn't possible, I would explain to them that the Laundromat is NOT a playground. If other parent's applied this to their children, accidents most likely would not happen.

SOME OF THESE PEOPLE NEED TO GO TO PARENTING 101!!! Or not have children at all.

Next up... I get a phone call that goes like this:

Drugged Lady (DL): Hi sweetie, is my blouses ready?
Me: Eh?
DL: My daughter dropped off shirts. What time you close?
Me: Erm, your shirts aren't ready... your daughter dropped them off 6 minutes ago.
DL: I have other blouses.
Me: Ticket number?
DL: I don't know.
Me: When did you drop them off?
DL: They should be inside.
Me: Inside where?
DL: Inside.
Me: O... Okay... I will be right back.
(They were nowhere inside and I checked on the other racks)
Me: I see them and they are ready but they aren't the ones dro...
DL: I be there before you close.

I know this lady. She is the resident crazy. Nice lady don't get me wrong but half the time she doesn't make sense. Who am I kidding, all the time she doesn't make sense.

I love random phone calls that don't make sense. They fulfill my daily quota of "how many crazy people can I talk on the phone with?" and the daily quota is one. Thank you crazy lady for making me feel all warm and fuzzy.

OH! An update on Bitchiana, she picked up her clothes and she didn't give me any lip. I was surprised; however, I did find the ten cents tip quite offensive.