A NEW ADDITION

A guy hired himself to be the door opener of this Laundromat just as long as I am around. He calls himself the "Sexy Albanian". Normally, when someone is reading or watching something, you don't go on and disturb them with an obnoxious conversation. He was asking me what my name was, where I live, what I do, and what I like to do for fun. He automatically assumed that I was into the club scene and drinking coffees at the local cafe. I told him "you know what they say about those who assume, you make an ass out of you and me." I don't think he understood what I was saying so I just told him that he was entirely wrong. Damn noob.

I tried to not laugh but I couldn't help but break out a smile. I am 99.99% sure he mistook the smile as a flirty move because he started to put the moves on me saying that my name was "just as beautiful as me" and "your eyes can light up a room". Please keep in mind, all this was being said with an accent and broken English. Oh, just to throw this in there, I think his teeth are capped. They looked pretty fake. Anyways, I was texting friends to call me so they can save me from this inquisition. He was just rambling on and on about how awesome he is and how beautiful I was. I thought he was going to ask if I wanted his babies, but he didn’t. My friend saved me! We were talking for 10-15 minutes and he just stood there. In front of me. Staring at me. His eyes were grilling me. I was thinking *Laundry girl, wipe that smile off your face now!*

At one point he was mocking me and my conversation. He repeated something I told my friend. Then another customer was entering the Laundromat and he went to open the door for her. He told her “I’m the new doorman in this Laundromat! As long as she is working here, I will open doors.” CREEPY! I didn’t have a reply for that. As a matter of fact, I ignored it. After I got off the phone, my sister came by to drop something off. I pointed out to her the creepy Albanian dude and she laughed. I was going to beg her to stay but he was in the back folding or something. It wasn’t that bad after my sister left… until this… “You married?” I told him “yes” and he pointed out that I don’t have a diamond ring. See, I was desperate to put something on my ring finger, so I took my pirate skull ring and put it on the left hand. I also pointed out that I was married to a pirate. Not sure if he bought it but hey! I am married to a pirate! (Ok, I am not… but can’t a girl dream?... Renaissance season is almost here… who knows…). When he was in the dryer section, he was being loud and obnoxious to the point where a customer asked me if I can go and shut him up. I shook my head side to side.

As for the doorman position, if he shows up tomorrow, I accuse him of stalkerism (not a word… I know… it should be though) and either call the cops or spray him with some detergent or something. Either works!

Oh by the way, all this started because I helped him put quarters in the washer. Next time, I am NOT helping someone… I am just going to point out they are an idiot. Then again, I can point out they are an idiot and then help them. This way, it is clear from the start that I am not interested in idiots but more than happy to help them. Okies, that happy part may be a small fib but it fits with the sentence.

Is it just me or does it seem like an ethnic week this week with my stories? Could it be a new pattern for the New Year? Guess my letter didn’t work eh?
Honestly though, I was thinking of printing out an instructions page for the washer and dryer so I can hand out to people. I mean, some of these people just do the same stuff over and over again. Then again, it could also be that some of these people just want the stuff done for them. People, I assure you. Your finger will NOT fall off if you put the quarter in the slot yourself. You will however lose a limb if you continue to bang my washer.