I DRIVE TAXI (Wednesdays post)

I will admit that yesterday I did not feel like posting. I was zombified. I only had three hours of sleep the night before because Mr. Toss and Ms. Turn decided for me that I didn't need sleep. I managed to cut caffeine out of my diet and when I cad that large cup of coffee yesterday, I felt worse after drinking it.

Anywhoots, now I present to you yesterday post!

My co- worker took someones laundry as a drop off and the guy failed to answer the "do you have any blanket, rugs, or comforters in your bag" question. Fortunately, there was a reason to it. It wasn't his laundry bag. It was his brothers. What my co-worker failed to do is call the actual owner of the laundry bag and ask if he wanted his blanket to be washed. Unfortunately, the brother gave the owners name on the ticket but not the phone number. As a matter of fact, the number that was given to me was linked to a restaurant. -sighs- We decided to wash the blanket and not charge it full price. The reason we didn't charge full price was because I didn't want to deal with the owner of the clothes at pick up time. Sadly, he gave me a hard time and I concluded that I should charge people full price no matter what because miserable people will never be pleased at a friendly (with a motive) discount.

He comes at night and his to pick up his crap and the total was 37.85. Without the blanket it would have been 32.85. Now, if I were to charge the blanket at a normal price, it would have been twelve dollars more. He bitched and moaned about the price and I let him. I just had my hand out while he was doing that so I can get the cash. He didn't look at my facial expression which was *I don't give a fuck, give me the money you moron* Why is he a moron? Well because of this... Oh before I go ahead with the dialogue, I will give you a description of him. He is Mexican, his height is about 5'4", approximately 175 pounds, black hair, tanned, and his two front teeth were made out of gold. His accent was thick and his English was decent. This is what went on:

Moron (ron): Why so much?
Me: Well, we charged you for the blanket but not at full price and we also deducted the weight of the blanket from your bag. This way, you wont pay more.
Ron: But why do I have to pay for it?
Me: Because it is clean?
Ron: How much you charge for the blanket? -He is saying this while he is going through his stack of cash-
Me: Being that it is a Queen size, we charge twelve but I only charged you five dollars. You didn't give me the right phone number for me to call you.
Ron: Why I pay so much?
Me: Because we cleaned your stuff and those are our prices.
Ron: But why?
-I felt like saying "chicken thigh" or "because you touch yourself at night"-
Me: Your total is 37.85.
Ron: I no drop this off. My brother did.
Me: Well we asked him and now it is clean. Would you have preferred if we didn't wash it?
(here is the line)
Ron: I drive taxi!
Me: Well, good! I work at a laundromat!
Ron: Taxi!
-This is where I thought *great, he is going to kill me*-
Me: Okies, thank you!
Ron: *mumbles something is Spanish* I never come back! Why did my brother come here?
Me: Oh! I know! Because you told him to take your clothes to the laundromat to have them cleaned!

He wasn't too happy about the last line. He did hold up the line of customers but all four of them said they were entertained. They also sided with me and one of them said "your sarcasm really shined with that last line." I think I may have blushed when he said that but I'm not too sure... Oh well!

Thanks to him, I believe that all gypsy cab owners are crazy and I don't think I will be getting in one anytime soon.

NUMBER 4-BATHROOM BREAK

I am starting to believe that when I go to the bathroom something really does happen... well something always happens but like maybe a mini-parade as well? I go to the bathroom for two minutes and I come back to see a lady putting clothes in the washer. WHY!? There is a 35 gallon storage bin right next to you with the vacuum tools. WHY ARE YOU DOING LAUNDRY!? She was Spanish and did not know a word of English so I pointed to the door and she stared at the sign and blinked back at me. Why can't you read your own language? OH MY BEJEEZUS!!!
It took my almost 10 mins to get rid of her until one of the maintenance workers told her what was going on.

Another customer came in to leave his laundry for us to wash but he took it back because he wanted it to be done today. I explained to him twice that maintenance was going on and that the sign was put up a week and a half ago to warn our patrons. Plus, who does their laundry at the last minute when they are down to the last piece of underwear? That is disgusting. He took it to the other laundry place near us but oh well. He should have planned ahead.

AN INTERESTING DAY...

...ITS GOING TO BE FOR SURE!

Today the laundromat is closed for maintenance! Which means no customers!!! Except for those that bring in the drop-off and dry cleaning... Just because I don't have customers doesn't mean I won't deal with people that lack common sense. I opened today at 7AM and a customer walked in ready to wash. Now, I have 11 signs posted all over the laundromat and on the store window stating that on 8/11 we would be closed for maintenance. Oh, the sign is in Spanish as well. The customer, not understanding English walks in and asks for a small soap. I explained that the laundromat was closed... this is what went down:

Cust:One soap
Me: We are closed today for maintenance.
-Customer stares at me blankly-
Me: There is a sign on the door in Spanish. Go read it.

Now, instead of the customer going to the door to read the sign-he goes outside to read the sign on the window at the far right... didn't make sense to me but hey, maybe he likes to take long walks. After his short read, he comes back and I get this:

Cust: You closed?
Me: Yes. Open tomorrow.
Cust: No wash?
Me: No, tomorrow.

So he lingers around for a couple of seconds.

Cust: No wash eh?
Me: NO! Open tomorrow...
Cust: Okay.

He was the only customer to walk in. Hopefully he will be the last for today. No one can use the argument that I did not inform people in Spanish. I did and the fact that they can't even pay attention to their own language with the word "ATTENTION", frightens me. Sometimes the brain doesn't allow you to see certain key elements when you are awake early or even tired. It has happened to me when I went to a credit line only instead of cash, but that was also because I was tired due to working too much and lacking sleep. I apologized to the lady that pointed the sign to me and I did feel like a moron for not seeing it; however, to see the sign and still ask if you can wash three times, is kind of ridiculous.

I'm sure the rest of the day will be just as interesting...

SPANISH 101…LEVEL: HELL NO

I have mentioned before that I am not fluent in Spanish. I do understand a couple of words thanks to junior high school. I can –try- to pick it up again but I rather not. Is it useful? Of course… but why should –I- have to go learn it when they can go learn English… for free might I add.

So around 11am, I am getting cursed out in Spanish by an 80 year old lady. We actually know her from the past and my dear god is she crazy. I asked for her name to put on the dry cleaning ticket and she gave it to me. Then she started throwing out some numbers at me and I just waited until she was done. If I were to disturb her number marathon, then I would have gotten some type of lecture in Spanish. Plus, I must confess that I was highly amused. After her little number thingy, I asked for her number only to be given a shit load of numbers again. I go to her “TELEPHONE… TELEPHONO… RING RING” (I did add the ringing to it… I stooped to a new level and a brain cell is dead for that)… finally the crazy old lady decided to call over her home attendant and the phone number was finally given to me.

She later introduced another problem to me… in Spanish and after me flailing my arms in front of her in a “no” motion and saying “I don’t understand you and I don’t speak English”, she started cursing at me in Spanish. I should have kicked that lil’ old bitch to see how far she would fly. Her home attendant finally came to my rescue and said that she wanted something but couldn’t describe it. A. How the fuck is that my fault? B. Why am I getting cursed at? Finally, C. Why is she waving her cane at me?

The nice home attendant came to me for quarters and she apologized. She also started to share with me her problems (I am a therapist as well) with the old lady. Apparently she is a tad bit crazy and exhausting to be around.

When they left, the old lady gave me a death stare and I shot back a one eye stare. If she were to walk into the glass, I would have laughed.