IT ATE MY QUARTERS

I am starting to believe that people will do ANYTHING or come up with an excuse just to get free quarters out of me. Little do they know, I am out there to prove that they are WRONG! Of course in some cases, they are right and I refund them their money. An example would be the machine is acting up and it does not rinse the customers clothes, which in that case we will refund the money by putting the clothing to wash again. Sometimes, I don't refund it and just reset the washer's timer to rinse the clothes an extra time. Hey, shit happens and when it is our fault, we admit to it. As much as we hate doing so, we do it. What can I say, this is an honest laundromat.

A customer apparently put 4 quarters (32 minutes) in an out of order dryer. The two main questions are:

1. Why would you put quarters in an out of order dryer?

and

2. How did you put quarters in an out of order dryer when the coin slot is taped up with paper and has been for the past 3 days?

He said that it wasn't there when he put the quarters when it was complete bullshit because I checked to see if the sign was still there. The workers at this laundromat always check to see if signs are up to make sure that future problems do not develop like this one. The customer convinced himself that he put quarters in there. What did I do? I called my co-worker to ask how long the sign and the coin slot was taped up for just to make sure I am not imagining things. She confirmed that the sign and paper was not touched within the past two days. I explained this to him and somehow, he didn't believe. My next step was to grab the keys and open the coin box collector, which I did and to only find that the box was empty. I showed him and I told him that quarters aren't in here. The fucker still didn't believe that he did not put quarters in that dryer. My logical explanation to him was the following AND I was being nice: "Sir, you didn't put quarters in here. See? The box is empty and by all means, look inside the box holder, there isn't anything. You must have put the quarters in another dryer or you may not have put any in it at all. I am terribly sorry but I can't help you here."... his response? "When I went home, someone took it out." My response "no, we didn't and if we did, we would have emptied out all of them. Look, the tape is still on and not pulled off. I can't help you."

It didn't sink in that he was wrong. He started going off that it was MY fault and the he had to use more quarters out of his pocket. NOT MY FAULT.

Next time the fucker should pay attention and the ONLY reason I call him a fucker is because when he was leaving, I sweetly told him to have a good night and he just ignored me. As a matter of fact, I AM HAPPY YOU USED UP MORE QUARTERS YOU DOUCHE BAG! KARMA KNOWS YOU ARE AN ASS!!

Trust me, it pays to be nice, even when it kills.

IM SICK

I'm sick, hence the lack of posting.

Plus side, I sneezed twice while typing this...

"BOBBY BROWN IS MY DAD"

I used to have a customer that would come on a weekly basis to our laundromat until she moved. She has two daughters and one of them must have been sick in the head. Actually I diagnosed her as a pathological liar. She never liked me because I would catch her on her lies but she had a thing for my co-worker. As a matter fact, I was glad she didn't like me because then she would be glued to my hip like she used to be with my co-worker. I remember one of her "lies" was that she was a child model and that everyone wants her for their shows. I inquired about what kind of shoes and what she modeled. She answered me with the typical child response that we all have said once in our young years and that is "it's a secret and I can't tell you." I am guilty of that but I didn't go as far as saying that my mother is in some secret service thing. She said that along with "it's so secret that they don't even know it is secret." I would have asked her mom if I could keep her for a week and psycho-analyze her or something... kind of like being my own lil' test subject. I would compensate them with free laundry for a month since that is the only thing I could have afforded then...

Anyways, one day she started singing that her dad was Bobby Brown and that Bobby had so much money that he would come and pick her up from her apartment. According to her the only reason she lived in the projects was because her dad, Bobby Brown wanted to protect them from the media. As she was continuing to sing the tune of "Bobby Brown is my father", the following question slipped out of my mouth... I thought it was an internal monologue but nope... she was annoying me and the following managed to slip "Your dad is a crackhead?" She stopped her singing, looked at me, and said "IM TELLING MY DADDY ON YOU!". I was tempted to say "You can't do much with a crack spoon" but I let it go. Obviously the girl isn't sane. -sigh-

We all imagine stuff. When I was little and Clinton was in office the first term, I used my pillow and pretended I was dancing at a Royal Ball or something. We have all imagined people or being something else... but I would never choose a famous crackhead to be my father.

I haven't seen the family since and I am 90% sure they moved. The mother was a health care nurse and the oldest daughter was in high school. The young one annoyed me and I would imagine tripping her on her rollie shoes or whatever the hell they are called.

Point is, don't go around singing that your dad is a famous crackhead... you will get a response like mine and eventually get bit in the ass for it but karma let me slide I guess.

UPDATE

Remember gorgeous eye's dude is my previous post? Well he just made King Douche Bag in my book.

What did he do?

Well, he was in the dryers section and he started to yell "Hey mami" and "Sweetie" with whistles in between towards me. I didn't respond to it. I am NOT a dog and I am NOT someone that responds to pet names.... I don't even fuckin know him!!! This lasted for a good two minutes.

After he realizing that I am not responding, he comes up to the counter and he says "hey sweetie, can you help me?" and of course I was going to help him but I pointed out to him that i don't respond to pet names because I have a name. He didn't bother asking for it nor did I tell him. He didn't have a reaction to what I pointed out to him. OH! He even checked me out from head to toe. Not subtle at all. Kind of creeped me out............

I showed him how to use the dryers and he thanked me. I turned around to go back to the counter and as I was walking he said "you my love". Alrighty then. Next comes "will you marry me?"... right? I'll take the eyes but not the whole package.

MANIC WEDNESDAY

Surprisingly Tuesday was really quiet. I worked practically a whole day and it was quiet. People actually cooperated and I let my co-worker know that she should only contact me if the laundromat is burning. I wanted to relax Tuesday night. If people got into a fight and stabbed each other, then call 911. Not me. If a machine broke, tell the customer its punishment because he touched himself the night before (Family Guy reference... sort of), and if someone had an issue, to put it in the imaginary comment/suggestion box.

Today is Wednesday and I am sure many of you know that but I bet for some of you it wasn't manic. As I am writing this, I am humming to myself Manic Monday except I am replacing Monday with Wednesday... Huh... pretty repetitive...

Anywhoots, the day started out pretty good and gradually got worse. Spanish people were yelling and I asked them to quiet down a bit and they replied "we are talking, we are allowed". Under my breath I called them chickens in my language and went my merry way. I didn't feel like putting up a fight. My week wasn't exactly the greatest. Sometimes you just let things go without a fight so you can save what is left of your sanity. Even then, that is not enough. When one of the Spanish ladies got up to go to the dryer area, her friend just sat on the other end of the laundromat and yelled at her. I come out from behind the counter and I suggest to the lady to go to her friend to continue their yapping. She got on my case about how rude I am but I just told her "thank you ma'am for informing me about my attitude. I appreciate it."... I think that got her more irked. Kindness can piss someone off and that right there is proof. When they left she looked at me and said something in Spanish and of course I replied "you too" and in return I got a "maricon". Nice.

Some people need anger management and by some people I mean people that I know and 80% of my customers. A new customer (I assume this) walked in to do laundry and as I am helping another customer, he literally starts beating on the machine's coin slot... after 4 LOUD hits, I told my customer to give me a minute and to enjoy the show. I head to the back to tell the douche bag to stop banging on my damn machine and to use the coin return button. The moron realized what the button does and started to utilize it. Then he said something like "samara" and I was like "what?" and he said it again, to which I just turned around and walked away. I stopped when he said "you don't understand?" to which I replied "no" and went back to my customer. The customer at the counter was laughing and I told her that this happens a lot and that I may consider putting signs on the washers. Her exact words were "don't waste your ink. The assholes aren't going to read it." Lady has a point. After he put his wash, he comes to the counter and apologizes and I accepted his apology. Hey, not a lot of people apologize for their wrong doing. He is cute too and his eyes are gorgeous. Too bad he is an asshat. Did I mention his eyes are gorgeous?!?!?! After his apology he asked me to dry and fold his clothes... I declined his request and he said he was going to pay... this is how the convo went (he had an accent too and I couldn't pin point if it was an Arabic accent or Spanish):

Guy: I'll pay you to do it.
LG: Well, I was going to charge you in the first place if I were to do that but we don't offer half the service. We only do the full service, washing, drying, and folding.
Guy: Ok, you do full service.
LG: No. It's too late to do that and I am not going to do it. You should have brought it in the morning so it could be done by tonight if you wanted the drop off service.
Guy: Come on, I pay good and full service.
LG: NO! Its too late and I am tired. We don't do wash at night unless my co-worker is here.
Guy: Come on, please?
LG: No! Sorry but no!!

Gosh darnit people, NO MEANS NO!!! Lol! To anyone!!!
"Can I have my shirts in an hour?" NO!
"Can I have my laundry done at 7am?" NO YOU MORON! WE OPEN AT 7:30AM!!!
"Can I have a blow job while my laundry is being dried?" NO! This would also score the person a kick to the balls. Of course this question hasn't come up again but I'm waiting for it. Everyone seems to be skipping to the "will you marry me?"

-head to desk-

Enjoy your night everyone!

SOCK MONSTER!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen

Do you wonder where your missing socks go? Or who takes them? Well, after researching day and night without sleep and using a difficult equation for a solution, I conclude this:





Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL

Its been almost a week since I last made an entry and for that I do apologize. You see, real life took its toll on me and I have been dealing with family stuff as well as my own health. My customers are creating an ulcer for me I think. Where are my Rolaids?...


During the week I have spoken with four teachers, which are my customers and I will say, one doesn't know her head from her ass, another seems to be an excellent teacher, and two are in it for the money. The ones with the money, I asked them if they knew how many quarters are in a dollar. They answered correctly but one of the two didn't know the difference between a box and a bottle. If I get a ten year old that doesn't know the difference between the box and the bottle, I will who their educator is. The teacher/customer type person asked me why I asked such question and I told her that within the past week, two kids didn't know how many quarters were in a dollar. She shook her head and said "it is expected". I asked why and she said "well, they just don't want to learn and the parents aren't helping." Of course I inquired further and asked what she, as a teacher is doing and she said "well, you can't do much and you can't use force on them and if you do, they will complain." I felt like taking the ruler from the seamstress and slapping her across the face with it. OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN DUMBASS! THEY ARE IN SCHOOL AND NOT AT THE BEACH!!! DO YOUR FUCKIN JOB! Now, I didn't exactly use those words but I did point out that using force in a positive manner, may increase the wanting to learn. She thought it was a good idea. Then again, she could have just been saying it to make me go away and give her the dry cleaning. Bitch, you didn't know the difference between a box and a bottle... your learning years may have sucked.


On Thursday, when the change machine was broken a big fat female approached me. I will admit, I did get slightly intimidated because she was taller and she was wider than me with a mean face. She wanted change from a twenty dollar bill.... this is what went on:

LG: The change machine is broken, how much do you want in quarters?
Cust: I need a 10 and two 5's.
LG: Okies but the change machine is broken... I can give you quarters here... how much do you want?!
Cust: Im telling you 10 and two 5's.
LG: Right, but the machine for quarters is broken... do you need $10 in quarters?
Cust: You aren't listening to me.... I need a 10 and two 5's.
LG: Are you washing here?
Cust: Yes.
LG: Are you aware that the change machine is broken?
Cust: Yes, now give me what I asked you for, god.
LG: Fine!

I give her the bills and then she asks me for 10 bucks in quarters. I told her while giving her the quarters that she could have just told me and avoided the whole conversation. She just smiled, turned her head and under her breathe called me dumb. Of course I would have fired back with something but I was truly afraid that she would sit on me. It sounds mean but seeing her life saver tube around her waist spilling out of her really small jeans made me think twice about opening my mouth, a first. I should have asked for her age but I could see a conversation having numbers, symbols, and stuff... kind of like "I am 3x2+10-50x6$##@@!%^&x5" coming out of her mouth.

Again, sorry for not posting!