SPIN CYCLE

You know what sucks? Me losing all of my laundry links to post for the Spin Cycle posts. There were videos, pictures, and random stuff. I had to reinstall Windows last week because HP tech support decided to make my laptop worse. -sighs- It's okies though! I will find everything.

Hope everyone is enjoying there day! It's Valentines Day but I really don't observe this day. Even if I had a boyfriend, it would just be like any other day for us. Today is really just a day for Hallmark and Hersheys to make extra money. My logic is, why focus on love on one specific day when it should really be everyday? Oh well!

Here's a note for everyone and hopefully you absorb this information because an argument can be avoided! If your zipper breaks and you take it to your local tailor, do know that the zipper that they will use to replace the broken will be better quality and will NOT be the exact color as your previous zipper. Why? Well, when factories make coats with zippers, they do not splurge on the good quality zipper since they cost a lot. YKK is the best brand for zippers. One YKK zipper may vary from three dollars to sixteen dollars. As for the color, factories order the zipper made for that color coat. The tailor (if he or she is good) will try to match the zipper color to coat color as close as possible. It will either be lighter or darker than the original color. This is useful information to know or to explain to customers because then there isn't a misunderstanding.

Two days ago a customer came to pick up her North Face coat and she was complaining that the color on the zipper didn't exactly match the coat. I told her the above and she didn't believe me. She wanted her money back but I refused to give it to her. I explained to her that when she dropped it off, I told her the above. She sucked in her teeth to make a noise and left. On her way out she said "I ain't comin back to dis ghetto place" I said "good, we dun like ghettoness in here" She was NOT happy. She did leave though. Hey, she deserved it!

Every week I share a story that a reader sends me or I answer questions from readers. This week, Mike from Kansas sent me three stories! Woo hoo! However, I will be sharing one and then the others next week. Here is Mike's story:

Mr. Scary

The first time Mr. Scary came in was close to closing time one night. He is big and tall, bearded and alway dressed in black. He always uses the same two small washers and always sits in back. He pre-spots his "work clothes" with some magic formula that always leaves a black powder on the folding table and inside the washers. He wears geek glasses and is always reading some thick book while waiting for his clothes. He always drags a chair over with him to be in front of the dryers. Often, he walks to the bathroom, stops and stands, looking at the TV for a few minutes on his way there and back.

One night, out of nowhere, he asked me if we were going to start staying open later. I told him I didn't think so right now. Then he asked me if I needed someone to work in the laundromat, he would like the job. Needless to say, I told him no. Later, he said he was getting a job driving an ice cream truck around the neighborhood.

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Ah Mike, I used to have a Mr. Scary and he tried to dye his clothes with black dye. He always wore black. I never allowed him to dye his clothes though. Often I remember him and I wonder where he is. One night I actually had a dream about him and he tried to melt my face off with an iron. NOT a fun dream!

I'm not sure the kids will be happy with Mr. Scary.... -shudders-

With that being said, I'm signing out!

Have a good one guys!

THE BET

Last week I made a bet with a customer of mine. The bet was the following:
If he finished his laundry before I finished doing two loads (each around 30 pounds), then he would get two weeks’ worth of free wash (one load per week). If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t get anything and secretly he would be known as a failure.

Pretty sweet incentive right? He thought so and so did I! The owner doesn’t have a clue about this bet but hey, this place can practically be identified as my own at this rate. Plus the cash for the free laundry would be coming out of my pocket.

The reason I made this bet is because this customer takes six hours to do one load of laundry. Unfortunately, I am NOT exaggerating. He would come in at 2:00pm to put his wash and he would leave. Then he would return five minutes before or after closing to pick up his laundry. Oh yeah, at one point he would come back to toss his laundry in the dryer. The point of this bet was to show him that it isn’t hard to stick around to do one load of laundry. By the time he finishes a newspaper or whatever, he would be done. Plus I get to go home early if I don’t stick around for him to come and pick up his laundry. Actually, I don’t stick around for him at all now. He is one of –those- customers who think that the world works around him. He claims to be a star too. I wonder if I could hit him with a reality brick. Is that against the law?

Sometimes I want to pat this customer on the head and patronize him by saying “of course you are a star. I bet the people at Olive Garden know that too.” He is a waiter. Not at Olive Garden BUT it is a major food chain. –shakes head-
Today I reminded him about the bet and I had two bags ready to put in the wash. I started to put the laundry in at the same time he started to put his laundry in the washer. I asked him if he was sticking around and he said “I will be back in twenty minutes”. Our washers run for twenty-eight minutes. Thirty minutes later, he doesn’t show up and I am already putting the two different loads of clothes in the dryer. He can still make to win the bet. Forty minutes pass and I remove the first load from the dryer and I start to fold. I think to myself *this guy has another forty-five minutes. He better make it.* He was nowhere in sight.

In a way I was kind of glad that he didn’t show up because then the money would remain in my pocket. Will I continue to wait for him? No. If he complains, the owner of this place will side with me. Even the owner asked “who the hell takes six hours to do laundry?” I answered “he does apparently.” Oh well. He had an opportunity to get two weeks’ worth of free wash as well as to see that being in a Laundromat for an hour isn’t that bad when you have something to do.

I have seen people stay in the Laundromat for three hours because they had a crap load of laundry to do and they hardly complain. What’s his excuse? Probably scratching his balls and dreaming about his dream mansion now that he is a “star”. I really need to research if it is illegal to hit someone with a reality brick.

I wouldn’t mind if someone took his clothes from the dryer while he was out and about instead of being in the Laundromat. It would teach him a lesson. Then again, I can see him blaming it on me or whoever is on duty because his clothes were missing. Meh, he would get the same answer I give others “you should have stayed in the Laundromat to monitor your property, not our fault.”

Oh well. Sucks for him and I learned my lesson to not bother making bets with customers. It’s for the best for my pocket.

SUNDAY BLUES

Today is the first time I worked on a Sunday after a very long time and for the first time ever, I will say I wish I dealt with stupid people as opposed to HP tech support.

Today is history for my blog because of the above sentence.

The HP lady was ridiculously retarded. She stated that my overheating issue can be solved if I moved my laptop to a cooler place. I told her my bed and room do not fit in the freezer and apparently me demanding to speak to someone with a brain (yes, I did tell her that), didn't phase her. What. the. fuck. I told her my stupidest customers are brighter than her. She kept making me go into the bios and asking me to turn my laptop on and off ( I didn't though) and she was asking me what the temperature is. Gee, I wonder where I stick the thermometer...

If my laptop is going in for repairs, im going to try and steal someones laptop for a while.

"BOBBY BROWN IS MY DAD"

I used to have a customer that would come on a weekly basis to our laundromat until she moved. She has two daughters and one of them must have been sick in the head. Actually I diagnosed her as a pathological liar. She never liked me because I would catch her on her lies but she had a thing for my co-worker. As a matter fact, I was glad she didn't like me because then she would be glued to my hip like she used to be with my co-worker. I remember one of her "lies" was that she was a child model and that everyone wants her for their shows. I inquired about what kind of shoes and what she modeled. She answered me with the typical child response that we all have said once in our young years and that is "it's a secret and I can't tell you." I am guilty of that but I didn't go as far as saying that my mother is in some secret service thing. She said that along with "it's so secret that they don't even know it is secret." I would have asked her mom if I could keep her for a week and psycho-analyze her or something... kind of like being my own lil' test subject. I would compensate them with free laundry for a month since that is the only thing I could have afforded then...

Anyways, one day she started singing that her dad was Bobby Brown and that Bobby had so much money that he would come and pick her up from her apartment. According to her the only reason she lived in the projects was because her dad, Bobby Brown wanted to protect them from the media. As she was continuing to sing the tune of "Bobby Brown is my father", the following question slipped out of my mouth... I thought it was an internal monologue but nope... she was annoying me and the following managed to slip "Your dad is a crackhead?" She stopped her singing, looked at me, and said "IM TELLING MY DADDY ON YOU!". I was tempted to say "You can't do much with a crack spoon" but I let it go. Obviously the girl isn't sane. -sigh-

We all imagine stuff. When I was little and Clinton was in office the first term, I used my pillow and pretended I was dancing at a Royal Ball or something. We have all imagined people or being something else... but I would never choose a famous crackhead to be my father.

I haven't seen the family since and I am 90% sure they moved. The mother was a health care nurse and the oldest daughter was in high school. The young one annoyed me and I would imagine tripping her on her rollie shoes or whatever the hell they are called.

Point is, don't go around singing that your dad is a famous crackhead... you will get a response like mine and eventually get bit in the ass for it but karma let me slide I guess.

CUSTOMER # 21

He walked in and ignored the signage -sigh- But he was nice enough to just leave and not make an argument or question it. Actually he did question what was going on and for how long it will be. The sign specifically says that I would be open the next day.

-sigh- And to think today would be easy.

Hopefully this was the last one.

NUMBER 5

READ THE DAMN SIGNS!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF KITTENS READ THE SIGNS!!!! THEY ARE THERE FOR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Customer comes barging in with a couple of items and a bottle of Tide.

ME: we are closed. We are closed. HELLO! WE ARE CLOSED!
Cust: Since when?
Me: Since this morning. We are doing maintenance.
Cust: But I need to wash my stuff.
Me: We are closed.
Cust: You don't have any signs up.

-I leave from behind the counter and I start counting the signs-

Me: Three in the front and eight spread around the laundromat in English and in Spanish. There is also one on the door double ended so you read it when you come in and go out.
Cust: omg

Customer leaves after his "omg". A customer that was picking up, was cracking up when I was counting the signs for him. OPEN YOUR EYES FOOL!!!!!!!

ATTACK OF THE HIPSTERS

First off, yesterday was pretty crazy... from dealing with customers to having a family member die. May he rest in peace... it was time for him to go and sadly, he had to suffer before he found peace.


Last night, I specifically told a customer that I will be closing early due to the family situation. He said he understood and that he would be out before 9pm. He was out by 9:05pm. Why? Well, his hipster friends decided to waltz in and try to take over the laundromat. Not over my dead body though (no pun intended... an inside joke related to the family death... oh never mind...)! I swear these three individuals looked like they came fresh from Williamsburg... at first I got scared and though out loud "OH NO! I'M BEING INVADED" to which one turned around and gave me a look. I grinned. I did not have a problem with them until one decided to sit on the table and the other tried to surf in the laundry cart. I would have asked them "is this how you act at home?" but I already knew the answer would be "yes". I skipped on the question and with a firm voice I said "you can't sit on the table" and "you, get out of the cart now."... Of course I was in a bitchy/upset mood too but either way, they deserved it. I asked two of them to move to the other side so I can mop and one mockingly said "Oh sure!" to which I ignored and they were snickering but oh well. It was probably because of the comment I had made when they came in.

They thought they were being cute by prancing all over the laundromat but with a pair of scissors in my hand, I was tempted to stab an eye out... or at least their hand. I forgot to add, as they were entering, I felt as if I were in the Time Zone- hipster/yuppie style. Also, a bunch of them have moved into my neighborhood... I actually don't mind some of them since they ride bikes which means more parking spaces which means I don't have to search for an hour for parking. Guess there is a bright side.... with a bit of puke in my mouth.

On another topic, what is it with people and leaning against an active doorway? Two customers, on two different occasions, decided to lean on the door that allows access to the counter. Why would you do that? One customer, an immigrant from Afghanistan got scared because the door hit her on her back. I tried not to laugh but serves her right... she went and stood by it again... WHY!? The other customer decided to leave her baby in the carriage right behind the door... I must have hit the carriage 4 times before I told her something and she got the hint. Now I have to put a sign for that too.... COMMON SENSE PEOPLE, WORK ON IT... YOU CAN'T BUY IT BUT SERIOUSLY, WORK ON IT!

AND TODAY THE WEIRD CAME OUT...

In life, im not scared of much. I am not even scared of people. What can actually hurt you is zombies but that is a different story.

So a customer that I completely forgot about emerged after 4 years. Of course I was contemplating whether or not it was him. The way he talked, walked, and acted confirmed that it was him. Last time I saw him, he cursed me out because we didn't fold his laundry IN the shopping cart. I explained that we do not do that but he continued to yell and scream.

Here is the dialogue for today:

Weirdo: Hi. I need help with my laundry with some shirts.
LLG: Okay, I will be with you shortly.
-I go to the back to help him-
LLG: Okies, so what do you need help with?
Weirdo: mMy shirts but let me get to them.
LLG: okies, ill be in the front when you need me.

He never approached me for the shirts. But wait, there is more.

Weirdo: Its going to be difficult to fold my laundry. If I give it to you to do it, will you?
LLG: No.
Weirdo: -laugh- Oh come on. A thang like you can do it.
LLG: Um... no...
Now I started to get "scared" or weirded out rather because he started to smile and bat his lashes at me. He tried to grab my hand too.
Weirdo: How much is it by the pound?
( I tell him)
Weirdo: You know, you can always come help me and stand beside me. -giggles-
(yes he giggled)
LLG: Um, no... uh... ill be back in a bit.
I hide for a while.

Yep. I got a good weird out.