I'M BACK!

I got my laptop back! Woo hoo!

There are stories to tell!
The Agenda:
1. Stinky Clothes
2. Korea v. Bangladesh
3. More Meat

Stinky Clothes

I have one customer that I cannot tolerate... somewhat. She is a roommate of a friend of mine. Lately I have seen her do her laundry on her own but in the past, she would drop off her clothes at our laundromat. I will call this customer Le Stinkee. Le Stinkee is in her mid to late 20's and has a chin ring, which I cannot stand. She would drop off her clothes in the morning and pick them up in the evening. When she first started coming to us, I tried to befriend her but there was no hope =( (I think I am somewhat glad now that it didn't work out). A couple of times, when my co-worker didn't come to work, I would have to fold clothes. It was my destiny for life to fold Le Stinkee's clothes because she would always bring them when my co-worker wasn't there. Her clothing smelled. I wish I could put a smell to it so you, my readers, can get an idea of the smell. Unfortunately, I cannot. I have failed you all -sniff-

Anyways... When I put underwear in the washer, I never look at the crotch because I don't want to be horrified with a left over surprise. Looking at someones menstruation blood is not my cup of tea and it isn't pleasant. Oh, lets not forget about the poopie stains and orange crap that I sometimes find on people's underwear. -shudders- This female always had menstruation blood on her panties among other stuff and her clothes always smelled. I would always hold my breath and after a minute, I would turn around and gasp for air. Folding her clothes wasn't bad but I always dreaded folding the underwear. To see the marks was still disgusting but I formed some logic about it... the logic was "at least its clean blood..." or "at least its a clean skid mark now..." That logic worked for a while. One day it was bad. It was on the sheets too. I kept calm and poured a shit load of soap into her clothes. I even poured Greased Lightening in her stuff (by the way, have you picked up the spray?! It's good stuff!). The sheets came out clean but the underwear, didn't come out clean...I lost hope in those panties ever being clean. Now she just does the laundry herself. I rarely say hi to her since I don't see her now but when her friend is around, she is nice.

I think if I were to drop off my clothes, I wouldn't give my personals. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't drop off my clothes. I would just wash it myself and so should you. It's easier and you know what you are doing to your clothes. We have heard horror stories from customers about their clothes being dropped off  and they are pleased with out service. Unfortunately, not a lot of places in NYC are like ours and sadly, people don't appreciate it. They see our prices and complain we are expensive. People, we are expensive for a reason, your clothes don't get put with other people's clothes and we wash your stuff with REAL stuff, not generic. Oh well.

Next up, we have two different people going at it.

One lady is Korean and the other dude I think is from Bangladesh. I love the Korean female. When she comes to do laundry, we always chit chat and her son is the cutest! She is a very nice female. This guy on the other hand, was a total douche bag. When he came to do laundry, he didn't know what he was doing with the washers and would blame his stupidity on me. HELLO DUMBASS, READ THE DAMN SIGNS ON THE WASHER! When he was putting his clothes in the washer, his friend was there and he wasn't helping the situation. He would confuse his friend even more. -shakes head- Two stupid people and they both had stupid brains. You would think if they put both brains together to think, they would accomplish something but no. Instead, they made matters worse and managed to piss me off. They pissed me off to the point where I didn't even bother to help them anymore. I put my Zune player to work and ignored them. Finally they get their washer going and they leave. The dumb ass returns to the laundromat to put his clothes in the dryer and he goes to the Korean patron "Ni hao sexy" or something like that and the Korean female got pissed.

I would get pissed too. She said "I am not Chinese, I am Korean and I hate it when people think I am Chinese just because I am Asian." I don't blame her. I would be pissed too for multiple reasons. The female approaches him and asks/tells him the following:

"Do you have a mother or a sister? If someone did that to you mother or sister, would you be happy about it? What you did was NOT respectful or nice. It was rude and you wouldn't like it if I started to stereotype you. I am not Chinese, I am Korean and one more time you do that, you will regret it."

The guy bowed his head down in shame and apologized. I was listening to all this and I just started clapping from the front end of the laundromat. Haha!
People like him tend to disgust me but I would rather have that then someone grabbing my ass, which has happened on many occasions. It was grabbed by Mexicans =(

Moving on...

A guy came to do his laundry and he kept talking to me about deli meats. I would just stare at him. He would ask me if I have tried salami, pastrami, etc. I would just nod and say "uh-huh". When he asked me about a cheese,  I would say "Uh huh" and he yelled back at me "THAT'S NOT A DELI MEAT" To calm him down I said "Oh, I thought we moved on to cheeses." He didn't buy my excuse and he left. People, when someone starts talking to you about deli meats, mention cheese. It will upset them but they will get off your back!

With that being said, I am out! Sunday you guys will have your Spin Cycle post and I might be working tomorrow. If I do, I will most likely do a post. Sunday I will also update the poll and maybe get a blog picture avatar thingy. Who knows! Also, I will have links for all of you as well to check out!

SPIN CYCLE

Allllooooo there!

Sorry for the lack of posts. I got sick for two days and then I got better and now I have an ear infection. I should probably go see a doctor... or take vitamins or something at least. On Wednesday I slept for 12 hours straight. It felt so damn good!

I am NOT into gossip. As a matter of fact, I hate it. Gossip is evil and just opens a box full of fail and evil. Yesterday my co-worker was telling about this customer that was asking her questions. I have talked about this customer before, she is the one that set my dryer on fire. It should be posted somewhere at the start of the blog. Anywhoots, she was asking my co-worker if she gets paid on time. My co-workers answered "yes" and then asked her why. Apparently, a customer had a friend that used to work at the laundromat. I call TOTAL bullshit! First off, the people that used to work at the laundromat were NOT Spanish, with the exception of two. Even those two Spanish workers didn't converse with this bitch. After asking her that question, she asked how our boss treats us because her friend told her my boss used to beat her. WHAT. THE. FUCK? Our boss has never laid a finger on us. See, this is how rumors get started, by stupid bitches. I should start spreading rumors about her and how she likes to make out with her cats or something... see if she likes that. Luckily, I am not like that... to start rumors or gossip. My co-worker gives her a sour face and says "no, she is very nice". She tried to get more answers out of my co-worker but my co-worker was smart enough to say "look, I have real work to do. I'll talk to you another time." The customer got upset and stopped talking to her.

Oh and this same customer had the nerve and demanded that I should remove MY clothes from the top dryer so she can use it. I told her "no, the quarters are in and there is a bunch of empty dryers in the back. I need dry clothes too." She told ME to go and use the back ones. I didn't and instead I gave her a look and ignored her for the rest of the night.

People like her make me wonder why they are still around. I wish there was a pack of wolves that sense stupid people and then they just destroy them...harsh? I don't think so. Cynical? Naw... Cynical would be me telling my father the following "either you go fix the car or you pay for my funeral!"

STORY TIME!

I like Mike. Mike sends me stories all the way from Kansas! He owns a laundromat and can relate to me. I thought stupid people going to laundries only existed in New York but I was wrong!
Mike wrote to me the following:

"I think the parents must tell the kids to wait 'til they get to the laundromat to run wild.  It's unbelievable! 

But most of the time, when the kids arrive, they behave pretty good.  But, as soon as the laundry is in the washers, it's time for Coke and cookies.  By the time the wash is in the dryer, the little rugrats are running wild.  Always jumping on all the seats, playing with all the doors, screaming and running like there is no tomorrow.  I guess at that point I have to talk to the parents and tell them, "if you want to spank your kids, I will loan you my belt."

And then, at just the time when the clothes are done, the kids are asleep in the middle of the floor."

---------------------------------

Mike, you have NO idea how much I want to trip their kids while they run. One of my achievements in life would be complete. The worst part is that majority of the parents keep feeding their kids thinking it would quiet them down. They are wrong! Once a customers kid thought it would be a good idea to color on all the tables. I pulled the mom aside and handed her the Greased Lightening and a towel. I made her clean it up because she gave her kid a bag of chips, juice (water, sugar, coloring), and a crap load of pure sugar candy. She wasn't happy but she didn't even punish the kid! It's unbelievable! Parents like that make me want to choke them.

-sigh-

I mentioned above Greased Lightening. People, if you have this available in your stores, buy it! It does wonders! We use it as a spot cleaner and it removes anything from grease, to ink, to blood. I even have a bottle at home to I can clean the oven top and counters. I swear by it! I am 89% sure they have them at all Home Depots but in the gallon size. If you want to find a store near you or if you can purchase it online, go here www.greased-lightning.com .






OH! VERY IMPORTANT!!! THIS WEEK, I WILL NOT HAVE A LAPTOP! I AM SENDING OUT MY LAPTOP TO BE PREPARED! I WILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE A POST ON SOMEONE ELSE'S COMPUTER!

With that being said, have a good one everyone!

IRRITATED PART 2

I know today is my day off from posting in my blog but I wanted to. I should rather say that I needed to post because I need to rant and ranting is always good.

Yesterday I mentioned that Moshe wanted me to deliver the black skirts to him so he can complete his order for Thursday evening; however the problem was that I didn’t know if I was going to deliver the items due to the blizzard in NYC.

I ended up delivering the skirts to him.

I was not pleased that he called me early in the morning to do so either. I should put my phone on silent or vibrate at least. He calls me and asks the following “hey laundry girl, can you deliver the skirts to me please? I need them.” I told him to tell Cheapo to have the money ready.

So I get out of bed cranky and I look outside to see a blanket of snow covering the ground. My exact reaction was “oh fuck, I better get paid for this shit.” Thankfully I have a jeep with four wheel drive and it took me to where I needed. I drop them off at his place and I go to him “your five skirts are delivered.” He says the following (which pissed the fuck out of me) “oh, why did you bring them in this weather? I saw what it looked like outside. Also, I completed my order but thanks for bringing them.” Really? I had a look on my face that projected “I’m going to fuckin’ kill you”. I told him “you, you asked me to bring them to you because you needed them and they were important, you could have called.” He apologized but I didn’t accept it or anything. I turned my back to him. I asked him if he got any word from Cheapo and Moshe said that he didn’t come to work because of the snow. ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING?! YOU FUCKIN ASSHAT, YOU GOT ME OUT OF BED TO BRING YOU SKIRTS WHICH YOU DIDN’T EVEN FRIGGIN NEED?! WHAT. THE. FUCK!? If I were to kill him on the spot, it would be my fault. Not his. This also led me to believe that whenever he rushes me with the skirts, he really doesn’t need them. As a matter of fact, it makes sense. I believed that he rushed me for nothing a long time ago but today really did confirm it.

I saw olive colored table skirts still on the hanger and in plastic. My memory is excellent and I remember him saying “I need these olive skirts back as soon as possible, they are for a wedding.” I remember picking them up in the morning around 9:00am and dropping them off at 3:00pm. He never used them. If he did use them, then I would be cleaning them again after the wedding. So Cheapo is really cheap and Moshe just likes to feel important. Great. Really, I shouldn’t complain because it’s money coming in for the owner and it’s how I get paid but if money doesn’t show up on Monday, Cheapo is REALLY going to hear it from me.
I have patience and I am a calm person but when I am being dragged around and treated unprofessionally, then I can get pretty mean.

I HATE GRADE A ASSHATS!

Next up, there is a friggin blizzard going on outside. Why is the Laundromat busy?! Why are people doing laundry when they can be at home in a warm bed or couch watching television or something?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU COME AND DO LAUNDRY WHEN THERE IS ALMOST A FOOT OF SNOW OUTSIDE!? WHY!? Oh I know why… these people are destined to make my life difficult. Then again, they are the customers that are labeled as “stupid”. I got a good bunch of them today. Then again, they were the only bunch. One customer kept asking me over and over if bleach is only for white clothes. I told him to read the label after the fifth time. Another customer put coins in the wrong washer and started it up. Another one put soap in a wrong washer and asked me to reimburse the soap to them. I just stared at the customer and walked away. I was NOT in the mood to deal with them. Then I had a customer who decided that it would be a good idea to dye her clothes in the washer with hot water. I stopped her. My favorite one is the one who was confused with the mirrors. The mirrors reflect some of the equipment and he kept asking me how he could get to that side. Really?

I need to sleep and I need to get my money on Monday.

THE BET

Last week I made a bet with a customer of mine. The bet was the following:
If he finished his laundry before I finished doing two loads (each around 30 pounds), then he would get two weeks’ worth of free wash (one load per week). If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t get anything and secretly he would be known as a failure.

Pretty sweet incentive right? He thought so and so did I! The owner doesn’t have a clue about this bet but hey, this place can practically be identified as my own at this rate. Plus the cash for the free laundry would be coming out of my pocket.

The reason I made this bet is because this customer takes six hours to do one load of laundry. Unfortunately, I am NOT exaggerating. He would come in at 2:00pm to put his wash and he would leave. Then he would return five minutes before or after closing to pick up his laundry. Oh yeah, at one point he would come back to toss his laundry in the dryer. The point of this bet was to show him that it isn’t hard to stick around to do one load of laundry. By the time he finishes a newspaper or whatever, he would be done. Plus I get to go home early if I don’t stick around for him to come and pick up his laundry. Actually, I don’t stick around for him at all now. He is one of –those- customers who think that the world works around him. He claims to be a star too. I wonder if I could hit him with a reality brick. Is that against the law?

Sometimes I want to pat this customer on the head and patronize him by saying “of course you are a star. I bet the people at Olive Garden know that too.” He is a waiter. Not at Olive Garden BUT it is a major food chain. –shakes head-
Today I reminded him about the bet and I had two bags ready to put in the wash. I started to put the laundry in at the same time he started to put his laundry in the washer. I asked him if he was sticking around and he said “I will be back in twenty minutes”. Our washers run for twenty-eight minutes. Thirty minutes later, he doesn’t show up and I am already putting the two different loads of clothes in the dryer. He can still make to win the bet. Forty minutes pass and I remove the first load from the dryer and I start to fold. I think to myself *this guy has another forty-five minutes. He better make it.* He was nowhere in sight.

In a way I was kind of glad that he didn’t show up because then the money would remain in my pocket. Will I continue to wait for him? No. If he complains, the owner of this place will side with me. Even the owner asked “who the hell takes six hours to do laundry?” I answered “he does apparently.” Oh well. He had an opportunity to get two weeks’ worth of free wash as well as to see that being in a Laundromat for an hour isn’t that bad when you have something to do.

I have seen people stay in the Laundromat for three hours because they had a crap load of laundry to do and they hardly complain. What’s his excuse? Probably scratching his balls and dreaming about his dream mansion now that he is a “star”. I really need to research if it is illegal to hit someone with a reality brick.

I wouldn’t mind if someone took his clothes from the dryer while he was out and about instead of being in the Laundromat. It would teach him a lesson. Then again, I can see him blaming it on me or whoever is on duty because his clothes were missing. Meh, he would get the same answer I give others “you should have stayed in the Laundromat to monitor your property, not our fault.”

Oh well. Sucks for him and I learned my lesson to not bother making bets with customers. It’s for the best for my pocket.

THE JERK

I don't understand some people and I am not going to start trying to understand them. I am still sick to even try and argue. Today I worked. I was feeling a bit better and to be quite honest with you guys, I couldn’t stay in bed again… all day. My body hurts from just laying down all day Saturday and Sunday. When I talk, it sounds as if someone is holding my nose together. It could be worse and I am thankful it is not.

Today a customer came to pick up his dry cleaning. I would love to call him Mr. Upper East Side with a Stick Shoved Up his Ass… but it’s too long. Guess I can call him a Douche Bag but someone else has claimed that title. Meh, I will stick to Jerk. He dropped off his dry cleaning on Saturday and the owner of the Laundromat serviced him. According to the owner, Mr. Jerk gave one instruction which was to remove the pills from his jacket. The dry cleaner dude followed the instructions and did so. Mr. Jerk was informed that there would be an extra charge to pill removing. Mr. Jerk was not too happy about that. Oh, let me not forget this part… Mr. Jerk had a friend with him. This to me is significant because when someone has a compadre (friend) with him, the person’s behavior changes. I have observed this many times with different customers. For instance, when a customer is picking up something alone, they seem nice and have manners. When the same customer comes with a friend to pick up something, they become cocky/conceited and they forget their manners. It is quite pathetic if you ask me.

Mr. Jerk walks into my Laundromat with his friend. While chewing he starts to ramble on about insignificant information that he thinks I need… here is the dialogue:

Mr. Jerk (MJ): hi so I dropped off clothes but I don’t have my ticket.
Me: Is it dry cleaning or laundry?
MJ: its two tickets with a suit and jackets. A couple of slacks and sweaters…
Me: So dry cleaning?
MJ: Yeah. This other lady…
(I cut him off)
Me: Your name?
MJ: Mr. Jerk
Me: When did you drop it off?
Mj: (he starts talking to himself) Let see, what is today? Oh yeah, today is Monday and yesterday was Sunday. So, I dropped it off on Saturday.
Me: Okay...
(I find his stuff and I hand it over)
Me: I just need you to sign the book since you didn’t have your tickets.
MJ: What am I signing for, you want my autograph huh?
Me: No, not really.
(His friend laughs)
MJ: So how much?
Me: $63.00
MJ: I thought it was less than that!
Me: Well, you got charged extra for the lint removal.
MJ: So if I were to go somewhere else in this neighborhood to get the dry cleaning and pills removed done for me, it would be cheaper?
(That above is a typical threat that customers say so they can get a couple of bucks knocked off)
Me: Probably but who knows.
MJ: I just praised you guys and gave you good words to my friend and now you charge me that extra 6 bucks?
Me: Yup! It works out great, doesn’t it?
MJ: I don’t know anymore…
(His friend whispers to him “they did a fantastic job” and Mr. Jerk nudged him)
Me: Well anyways, here is your receipt and have a good night.
MJ: How do they dry clean this stuff?
Me: Chemicals, heat, and steam to clean and press clothing and other fabrics. In the past they used to use formaldehyde but now they don’t.

He tried to say something else but I cut him off with “well, have a nice one!” and they left. His attitude was pretty bad and cocky. I could have embarrassed him in front of his friend but my nose needed to be blown badly. See, it’s people like Mr. Jerk that makes me wish that they fall into a ditch already. He wasn’t even cute to be cocky, let alone smart...

THIS ISN'T MCDONALDS

A few posts ago, I posted an entry about a dude and his skateboard. This dude was and still is rude and obnoxious. He is the one that fell flat on his face because he was skateboarding in the laundromat. Today he won the honor of being a douche bag. Well actually, he won it a very long time ago. One day he was doing laundry with his wife or girlfriend and they had a quarrel. He punched her in the stomach while yelling at her for not folding his socks right and then he stormed out of the laundromat. He is psychotic and he even looks the part! Gah! I wish I had my camera today!

Anywhoots...

When someone gives me money, they normally tell me what they want. Its either soap or quarters. This butt munch gave me his dollar bill along with a look. Not one word about what he wanted. He just stood there repeating "please wait" over and over again. I should have told him "a mentally disabled person is brighter than you!" It's quite hard to get me pissed me off but this guy succeeded in doing so.

Me: What do you need?
Skateboarding douche bag (SDB): Please wait, please wait, please wait.
Me: Excuse me?
SDB: Please wait Please wait...
(I cut him off)
Me: Well, we don't offer that but if you would be so kind to use more words to tell me what you need with this dollar, I would appreciate it.
(I really wasn't happy to help him. As a matter of fact, I dislike this dude.)
SDB: When I go to Mcdonalds and I hand them a dollar, they know what I want.
Me: Last time I checked, this is a laundromat and we don't have a dollar menu. So either tell me what you want or I will give you your buck back and just ignore you.
SDB: PLease wait please wait
(I got aggravated and he sees this)
SDB: okay, just give me quarters.

I hand it to him without saying anything. He comes back two minutes later and says "please wait please wait please wait" and cracks up. If the fucker sees that his dark clothes have been bleached, it wouldn't be my fault. -whistles- As a matter of fact, I should tell him "please wait, your report is being processed and it will take a month to get your complaint to the general manager, have a good day."

Well okay... I wouldn't go that far... but I am hoping he falls flat on his face again! He really is a docuhe bag.

In other news, a lady comes in asking for her wedding dress that she dropped off six years ago. Hey lady, where have you been? She gave me the excuse that she forgot. If this was my wedding dress, I wouldn't forget to pick it up. It would be my priority. I told her that we gave it away to charity. She wasn't pleased and she started to go off on me. I pointed to the sign that states "clothing left in the dry cleaners for over six months will be given to charity." She went on and on about her dress being precious and sentimental. I replied "Well, I guess it didn't mean much to you for you to forget it for six years! Sorry!"  She was furious. She called her husband... not sure what he was going to do about it. Its not like the dress would magically appear... hmm, that line just made me want to eat Lucky Charms. I should have asked the wedding dress lady to go get me some. I would have also told her "well, on the bright side, someone else is enjoying your dress" but that would have been a bit insensitive. Oh well!

I think I need to go for an eye exam...

Update: The douche bag did fall flat on his face. He slipped on the rubber mat while trying to dry his shoes. I laughed out loud this time. I may have pointed too.

THE YES MAN

Just to let all of you know, my brain has been taken over by stick figures. I think I have been inhaling too much laundry detergent. The whole day I pictured people in stick figure form. They all looked the same. Heh...

Today has been quiet and I was being nice to customers. I thought I would try the nice approach and it somewhat worked, except for the asshats that don't know how to greet or have manners. Manners are important people...

I will call this guy the Yes Man (YM). All he knew how to say was "yes" as well as other words but mostly "yes". I felt bad for him because he seemed lost and he was nice. I did get irritated a bit because it felt as if I was babysitting him and his clothes. Here is what went on:

He was standing in front of the counter with his back to me and I say:

Me: Hi! Do you need help?
YM: Yes.
Me: Okies. Well, the washers are there and you can wash!
YM: Yes.
Me: Okay
YM: Yes. I here new.
Me: Okay, I will show you.
Ym: Yes.
Me: These are the small ones.
YM: Yes. Soap.
Me: We sell it over there.
YM: Yes.

I'm not going to type up the whole dialogue but that is all he would say... "yes"... so you can get an idea as to why I got irritated; however, I kept my cool and helped him with a sunny side smile.

Aside from him, I had this one retard who thought the dryers were voice activated. Instead of putting his dryer on hot, he left it on warm and left the premises. When he came back, I saw him putting the quarters into the dryer and saying "hot" over and over again. Once again, the dryer was left on warm. I passed by him and  I told him "uh, sir... you need to put it on hot by pushing the button."  He tells me something in Spanish and all I understood was "gracias."


I wonder if there is a way to buy brain cells in bulk and hand them out for free at my laundromat. -sighs-

NO REALLY? SERIOUSLY?

In my laundromat we have over fifteen laundry carts. Three out of those fifteen carts, have a hanger thingy on them. At some point today, three of those carts were being utilized by customers. (Yes, I counted for the sole purpose to make a point). You would think a customer would go for an empty cart so they can cart away their wet clothes to the dryer. Nope. Why would someone do that? That thought requires too much logic and a high amount of brain cells to work.

I was going through a laundry magazine (I have resulted to one of "those" people) and I look up after a question was asked. The question was "excuse me, is this cart being used?" She had her hand over the cart in a claw like form ready to grab the items from that cart to put them somewhere else. I stared at her, then at the laundry cart, and then back her and then I replied with a "yes" along with a *wtf* look. She looked shocked while she was staring at me and she didn't move for a couple of seconds. I guess not many people tell her "no", except for me. After the "yes" I told her to go to the back, where there was a large quantity of carts available.

Why... why... Why would she want to touch some random person's dirty laundry bag??? Just WHY?! To me, it doesn't make any sense!!! I must have missed the stupid bus once again.
Mind you this female is a teenager so her boyfriend comes along, with acne full on his face and braces and decides to put quarters in the wrong dryer. By the way, the dryer clearly stated "OUT OF SERVICE =(" Stupid people deserve each other, I just fear for their spawn....

FOOD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LAUNDRY

This is too funny. Scary but funny.

I was putting tags on dress shirts and out of the blue, the door opens with a loud *bam* and all I hear is "Un-Fuckin Believable." I turn to see who it was that came into the store and it was a short female, in her late 20's with long black hair. She must have weighed around 220 pounds. After storming in, she continues her walking rampage to the back of the store and all I hear is "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE MONEY OUT OF THE ACCOUNT? ALL YOU ARE DOING IS LAUNDRY. HURRY YOUR FUCKIN ASS UP. I WANT FOOD AND I AM HUNGRY YOU STUPID BITCH!" The other girl, who I will assume is her sister asked the psycho to "simmer" down. She didn't. She continued to yell and scream. Oh yeah, while she was yelling "GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE NOW! YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEND SO MUCH FUCKIN TIME IN THE LAUNDRY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I AM HUNGRY", she slammed her hand into my washer.

Here is an analogy:
Mother is protective to her newborn as laundry employee is protective to her washers.

Bitch better not mess with my washers...

I asked the psycho bitch to stop yelling and to not hit the machines. She turns to me and yells "DON'T YAH TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU AIN'T MAH MOTHER." You are right, I am not your mother and I thank the heavens for that. If I were your mother, I would whoop your ass and teach you manners you damn whale! After yelling a bit more at her assumed sister and making a fool out of herself, she storms to the front and before she exits she yells "YAH BETTER HURRY YOUR ASS UP. I WANT MAH CHICKEN."

I lost it there. Once I heard that she wants her chicken, I sat in a chair and just laughed. I may find this funny because I have been in the laundromat since 8:30 am with only two mini breaks which I used to email my friend. That is almost 12 hours. Therefore, the above situation is hysterical to me. I just picture that scenario over and over again and to me, it never gets old.

Also, I will be taking pictures now of items that I find interesting. Someone in the past had notified me that they would LOVE to see what some of these people looked like but unfortunately, I don't have a cool camera phone and I can't really point a camera at someone without explaining the reason I am taking a photo. However, pictures of people items is no harm! For instance, on a pair of boxer briefs today, there was a worn on ribbon saying "limited edition underwear" and I thought *can I cut this off? What is the point of it? Does he wear it when he gets laid and secretly thinks that the ribbon is a "good job" award?* So yeah, the camera will be coming with me at work. What do you guys think?

A LETTER TO...

... Williamsburg, the mother of spawning hipsters and yuppies.

Dear People of Williamsburg,

Majority of you living in Williamsburg are starving "artists" yet you come from families that are loaded with money. These parent's send you off to another state or town just to satisfy your crave of the current trend. Unfortunately, these parent's do not send off their kids with a brain. It must be left behind or they must have been dropped when they were a wee bit lad. In addition the parent's have forgotten to teach their children the basics of math as well as laundry. I am 99.9% sure that Williamsburg has at least a laundromat where people can do laundry. If not, then that explains why the hippies/yuppies that are moving into my town, are retarded.

So Williamsburg, please teach your spawns of a trend to use the laundromat properly or open up more laundromats and offer classes.

Sincerely,

LLG

I have no words for today. Well, actually I do... since I am typing this blog.

It's 6:35 pm and the laundromat is pretty busy. The door opens and in walks a tall and thin male with curly long hair wearing a fedora. Half of his face is covered with acne. His shirt is black and white plaid and the undershirt is red. He is wearing tight skinny jeans. Put it this way... his jeans are so tight that you can make out his... you know what... never mind... anyways... he brings in two bags worth of laundry and he is pacing back and forth trying to figure out which washers he is going to use. He uses the ones that are right in front of the counter area. I let out a long "sigh" because I knew what was coming.


First off, the moron uses four washers and then he puts bleach in the washer with the mixed color clothing. Then he inserts quarters... the quarter wouldn't be accepted by the machine. Without looking up I told him "don't you even dare to bang the machine. I see you. Use the coin return button." I think I scared him because he jumped a bit. He had trouble putting quarters into the machine and I asked him if he needed help and he said "no." It was HILARIOUS watching him trying to coordinate his hand with putting the quarter in the slot and then pushing the button. I did an eye roll and went to help him. He gave me the quarter and I put it in the coin slot without any trouble. Now, here is where he was having trouble with his math... our machine takes 7 quarters and he inserted four quarters, leaving him with three more quarters to go.

He complained that the machine didn't register the fourth quarter, but it did. The counter was showing that he needed to put in three more quarters but he was convinced that the machine didn't register it. I think he has ingrown curls in his brain... anyways, I open up the coin box and I show him that there are four quarters in there. Then I take my index finger and point out that he needs to put in three more quarters. He got pissed.

Fuck if I care that he got pissed. Not my fault he refuses to use his brain. Other people around him were snickering and laughing. I felt like saying "Uh dude, Williamsburg called and they are looking for their residential moron, they are missing you." Trust me, I was biting my tongue.

I can't stress enough that doing laundry is NOT a hard thing to do! Certain things that come with it as well, it isn't hard to achieve. Can we bring back School House Rock? Except this time, make a mini episode about laundry and math...

For those who don't remember School House Rock, here is a YouTube video:



Also, if this post seems a bit off, forgive me. I am sleep deprived and pretty exhausted.

A SIMPLE REQUEST

How a normal person starts the washer:
1. Insert clothing into the washer.
2. Insert soap into the soap compartment as advised.
3. Close the washer door.
4. Make sure nothing is stuck in the door.
5. Insert coins.
6. Sit and wait.

How a moron starts the washer TRY # 1:
1. Insert coins into the washer.
2. Close washer door.
3. Complain.

How a moron starts the washer Try #2:
1. Insert coins into the washer.
2. Insert soap into the soap compartment.
3. Insert clothes.
4. Close the washer door.
5. Sit and wait while complaining on the phone to his friend why he didn't get reimbursed.

I guess the tight jeans and bottle of gel in his hair made his brain stop functioning. I bet his brain has as many holes as his tight jeans do, if not more. -shakes head- I think he is a confused hipster. -mumbles- fuckin hipster..

So what happened? He put coins in the washer and started it without his clothes. His explanation was...actually you know what?.,.here is the dialogue:

Hipster (Hip): Um, I have a problem. I put coins in my washer and it turned on.
Me: What do you mean? You are supposed to put quarters in it so the machine COULD work.
Hip: Well I started it but there is nothing in there.
Me: As in water?
Hip: No, it's empty.
Me: And it is working?
Hip: Yes.
Me:... Okies, let me see what you did because this isn't making sense.
-The moron laughs-
Me: So you started your wash without putting your clothes in first?
Hip: Well, I normally put the quarters in first then the soap then my clothes.
Me: You are supposed to put your clothes in first..
Hip: Well, can I get reimbursed?
Me: No... you started it...
Hip: Can you stop it?
Me: Nope!
Hip: So I wasted 2 bucks for nothing?
Me: Nope! You wasted $1.75!
-He sighs at me-
Hip: And there is no way to get my money back?
Me: Nope! Sorry. If you want you can come back tomorrow and talk to management.
Hip: I'm leaving tomorrow.
Me: Can't do anything about it. The register gets counted and if I am missing that much, I get in trouble. Sorry.

See, if he said "please" I may have reconsidered. Then again, my laundromat doesn't pay for people's stupidity. Next time, put your clothes in first.

The moral of the story? Always use your manners and say "please", it may get you what you want and always put your clothes in FIRST in the washer.

STARSHMUCKS LADY

Starshmuck is my way of saying "Starbucks". I will admit, I am not a fan of Starbucks but if there isn't a Dunkin Donuts around for a tea, I will result to the Seattle Coffee House also known as Starshmucks. Think about it... there is a Starshmucks on every friggin corner! Yo, Dunkin Donuts, I think you need to step up here!
With that being clear, this lady dressed in business clothes, walks in with her nose stuck up in the air holding a flashy bag, a Starshmucks extra large cup, and an Ikea plastic bag (the ones that sell for 59 cents or something) acting as if there is a red carpet event going on in my laundromat. Who thought! An Ikea plastic bag is the new Coach Laundry Bag. -head to desk-

Normally I don't have any problems with her but I secretly mock her whenever she walks around like she is the bomb. (Oh snap! I went old school and said "the bomb"). She put her laundry in the washer and she came up to me and complained that the washer isn't working. Without a word, I silently walked to her washer and turned the handle. It magically worked! I turned around and walked back to my counter without saying "you're welcome." I am exhausted... I have a right to not say anything, especially when stupidity and lack of competence is present.

Dryer time!

She places her clothes in the dryer and I spot out that she left her dryer on the warm option. I didn't say anything. I assumed she wanted it that way since she is obviously weird. Of course she wasn't present when I spotted this as well and I could have easily changed the option but I didn't.

She comes back thirty minutes later and she stated that her dryer is broken because she had her clothes in there for 40 minutes and her clothes were not dry. I told her that I saw it on warm but I didn't change it. She said that she was 110% sure that she had it on hot. I argued with her and pointed out the obvious "Ma'am, the dryer is working because no one else complained about it. If you put your hand on the metal piece, it is slightly warm. You had it on the warm temperature"... She said "No, no! It was on hot!" She got an attitude with me and I was planning on proving her and her Starshmucks drink wrong!

I will be honest with you though... when I walked away with the attitude that I was right and she was wrong, I was hoping that I don't get proved wrong and I come out as the ass... haha! What? I'm sure all of you get that way at times!

So when I walked back with the quarter to put in the dryer and put it on hot, I told her "I'll be back in two minutes to check the temperature." I go back in two minutes and the dryer door is HOT! I told her to put her hand on the dryer and showed her that she made the mistake. I stuck around for the apology. After a couple of seconds, she said it... with her head down too! haha! BITCH! I WIN!

On her way out, she was walking as if she were on the runway. I should have told her "don't walk that way... your butt and muffin top are wobbling!" Instead I just laughed at her... she didn't notice. Not that I wanted her to -whistles- but hey... I WIN!

Also, there is a blog below from today as well! Read on about the Cranky Russian!!!

DEAR NEW YEAR

Dear Sir/Ma'am New Year,

First of all, I would like to point out that within the past decade, I have met people, fought with people, and became great friends with some of these people. I have fallen into relationships which could not be described and I have wisened up on what I want. For that, I thank you for not killing me (after all the close encounters and self-accomplished incidents/accidents) so I can live and learn throughout the ten years. I close a chapter in my life when a decade ends and/or when something happens and I want it behind me. After today, this chapter will be closed and a new one will open. Of course, I have a couple of requests from your New Year... I doubt it will change, but what the hell, a person can dream... right? With that being said, enough babling and lets get right down to business.

First off, the laundromat. Being that it is a new year and a new decade, knock some effin sense into people. I know it is hard to do that with over one million stupid people in this world, but try aiming for at least three quarters of them. It would help. While you are at, implant an imaginary hearing aid for people so they can listen to me when I say "don't sit on that!" or "stop banging my machines". It would be nice if you knocked some sense into my co-workers and owners as well.

See, I am NOT asking for much for the coming new year. I am just asking for two or three things because when someone has common sense, then they wouldn't do all the other stupid shit that they do... like praising a child for sticking playdough into the washer coin slot... or people asking me what the difference is between the soaps and the services we provide.

With that being said, GIVE SOME OF THESE STUPID PEOPLE A BRAIN OR A COUPLE OF BRAIN CELLS SO I CAN SAVE MY FRIGGIN SANITY!

Sincerely,

Little Laundy Girl

P.S. If you don't give this to me, I will kill one of these douche bag customers one of these days and I will plead insanity because I will be blaming it on you! Don't tempt me New YeaR! -breathes- Okies, maybe not kill... but maybe verbally hurt them? That works too...

MOMMY! IM A BIG KID!

Karma is hating me lately. Normally I have good karma. Maybe it isn't karma and just shitty luck. OR I am a magnet for these people. Maybe all of the above? I want to go into the fitting room, cover my head with some random towel, cry, and make believe that I am on an island owned by me. You guys are probably thinking that I am over exaggerating but removing play dough from a coin slot is serious business... especially when you have other morons hovering around the counter acting like they need something.



Play dough in a coin slot is something new to happen to me. The kid put a quarter to the dough to get a print on it and decided to put it in the slot. The kid thought that it was real currency. The mother praised the child and I scolded the mother. If you picture it, the mother should scold the child and I ignore the mother but the scolding and praising worked the other way. I spent 2o minutes cleaning out the fuckin dough... I hope the kid creates a donut and chokes on it... That is a mean remark but really, after a long day I am allowed to make such statements. I pointed out to the mother several times what her child did and many times I let out a heavy sigh. Every time I sighed she told her kid "its okay, it was clever for you to try it out. It is trial and error." I felt like telling the damn bitch "so if I kick you in the ass and I THINK you wouldn't fall face down but you do, that would be trial and error right?" But alas, I did not. I kept thinking *patience is virtue and in the end, it will be worth it*; however, my patience was being tested today by customers, co-workers, and family. Oh and after I cleaned out that gunk, I go over to the kid, get on one knee and tell him "what you did, was not nice and you could have damaged the machine. Don't do it again." The mother now scolded me... I should google a parenting class for her....



Next up!



All day customers were hovering over the counter and looking at the items (which is soap) that we sell. I would ask them "may I help you?" and they would say "no, I'm just looking." EXCUSE ME PEOPLE! THIS ISN'T WINDOW SHOPPING OR WINDOW DECORATIONS! IT'S FUCKIN TIDE!!! TIDE!!! THE CRAP THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!!! What else can you possibly be looking at?! Half way through the day, I did take a walk to the other side of the counter and took a look to, to see what these people are looking at. Just as I suspected... IT IS TIDE! JUST LIKE LAST WEEK, LAST MONTH, AND EVERY OTHER DAMN YEAR WE HAVE SOLD THIS STUFF! After a couple of customers doing this, I questioned this one lady. She is a nice lady with an old fashioned mentality so I was being nice to her. Nice people deserve niceness -nods- So when I questioned if she needed something, she said "oh I'm just looking." I questioned further "what are you looking at?" and she said "the soaps". I was still confused so I questioned further... "what about the soaps?" and she replied "I'm trying to see if they are all the same and if there is a difference between any of them." Trying to remain calm and not break brain cells, I said "but we only sell Tide. That is the only non-chlorine detergent we sell... everything else with the exclusion of Clorox 2, will stain your clothes." She said "So Tide and Clorox 2 are the same"... "No ma'am, they are different... C2 is bleach for colors, you can add that in with the Tide if you want." She just stood there. I asked her if she wanted any of it and she just said that she was still looking -face roll- WHY!?!?!?!?


From that I learned to not ask them if they want anything and to just leave them there until they ask for something.

THEN I had a customer ask me for a ten and two fives. I gave him exactly that and he was arguing that I stiffed him on a five dollar bill. I was pointing out that he had a ten dollar bill in hand as well as two fives... after 5 minutes, his wife comes over and she agrees with me. He started to apologize to me and offered me a drink to which I replied very fast "NO!"

... I am terrified of my customers buying me beverages now... why? Well, sometimes they lead to questions such as "will you marry me?" or "do you want a boyfriend?" and "want to web chat?" -cries-

As for family, I went to pick up an uncle and he just wouldn't shut the hell up! My dad and I would just ignore his questions sometimes but his mouth would still go 100mph! GAH! If it is karma, DAMN YOU!

POST HOLIDAYS

On Christmas Eve, people asked me what I asked from Santa and I told them two things.

1. I am the x amount of age and Santa is just a figment of a child's imagination. Plus he is just there to make kids happy and to make himself happy too (if you know what I mean...).
2. If a Santa DID exist, I would want my sanity back along with a day at a spa.

OH and some people got offended when I said this "NO MORE STUPID CUSTOMERS!"

It's a shame though. I was right. Santa does not exist because I DON'T have my sanity back and because the x amount of stupid customers doubles today, after Christmas. This may be Karma's doing.

A customer walked up to while she huffed and puffed and demanded I remove the stains from her "precious" table cloth. Mind you, there was not one stain or two... there were over 20... in different colors and judging by the smell, different flavors. I asked her how long the stains were sent on for and she said "some are from yesterday and the rest are from the past years." I could not help but ask her "did you use the same dirty cloth yesterday?" and she responded with an attitude "yes".

I explained to her that last years stains will not come off because the oils and coloring from the food products are already set in. I told her that she shouldn't have waited a year or more to clean. So she had the nerve to yell into my face "I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION. I ASKED YOU TO CLEAN IT. " I thought to myself, nasty bitch, don't yell at me; however I told her "ma'am, please take your stained cloth and exit the premises. Your attitude and business is not appreciated here." She then went on and on about how rude I am and how I should bow down to her. So what accidental slipped my mouth? This... "You obviously didn't get laid on Christmas morning" After saying that, I just gasped and laughed. I think she got really annoyed at me (or the truth) and left.

So that is how I get rid of people like that? I will make note of that.

Normally I am nice and I "behave" but she deserved what I told her.

Also, I had four or five customers bang the machines today. An Arabic Muslim told me that if he can't put the quarters in, then I can't because I am a female. I told him "hit my machine again and I will SHOW you what a female can do to a male!" I put the quarters in the machine for him and after I told him "guess it takes some education to realize that you have to put the quarters in the slot and not in the coin return" and I walked away. His friend was laughing at him. I was too. Another one was a repeat offender and I told her "stop banging the machine! Go to a boxing class if you have built of anger" She laughed. She knows I mean well and she apologized saying that she forgot. Thankfully not all of my customers are stupid... I will classify this one as forgetful.

A customer brought me home baked cookies, which were yummy.

Hopefully the New Year will enlighten people.

THE INTERNET IS TRUELY FOR PORN

Remember the crazy dude that I blogged about a couple of entries ago where he was skateboarding in my laundromat and he fell to his face? Well, now I know even more about him and I wish I didn't.

He asked me if I was on the Internet and I said "yes" and he asked me how and I told him that I have Roadrunner. He yelled "SERIOUSLY?!" with his eyes almost popping out and I told him "yes...now how many I help you?" He decided to ignore my question and just go into his story about how his Internet isn't working and that he hates the Time Warner cable service. I told him that it happened to me before and that they will fix it soon. What does he throw back at me? "I have no way of watching porn on my mother fuckin computer! For 3 days now I haven't watched the girls going at it." I had no words for him and except I nodded and smiled which was a bad idea because he then tells me "you have beautiful eyes, you know that?" I told him that I did and he just kept repeating it. I got annoyed and I finally told him "your eyes are beautiful too. They are so beautiful that I want to spork them out and devour them." He took his elbows off the counter, handed me the money, and left. I should have told him that I could also pull a Lorena Bobbitt, you know... the lady that chopped off her husband's penis and tossed out of the car window.... but I didn't.

For the rest of the night, he did not make eye contact. I win.

Today was a long day. The two washers that broke, I removed the piping from the bottom and then removed the water motor thingy (fuck if I know what the name is) and took it to Gold Coin so they can repair it. I made two trips there. If you own a laundromat and need parts, I highly recommend Gold Coin in Jamaica!
Need to fix a dryer tomorrow too.

WANT A SNICKERS? HERE TAKE A SNAPPLE!

When I was growing up, T.V shows taught me to never accept candy from strangers or anything really. Not even if they tell you a pretty pink princess is in a white van. Typically, parents are supposed to give you that kind of talk but when I was a young little girl, they didn't tell me anything. They were too busy working. As a matter of fact, I learned about sex from 90210 and Melrose Place. Yes, at that time I was around 7 or 8 years old... but hey, look at me now... I AM AS NORMAL AS I WILL EVER BE! Okies, that is a lie...

Yesterday and today I was being forced to eat and drink from two different Arab guys. Apparently they do NOT know the meaning of "no". I was amused at first and then it turned to annoyance.

On Monday, the guy was offering me a small snickers bar and I refused it. He kept pushing it on me and I lied by telling him I don't like chocolate. Well actually, it isn't a lie. I am not a big fan of milk chocolate but I LOVE white chocolate. Also, Snickers is WAY too sweet for me. After telling him all this, he continued to pressure me to take the chocolate when I finally raised my voice a tad bit and said "NO". That is when he said "okay. I see you drink Snapple. You like Snapple. You drink Snapple." I kept refusing that too and he finally said "okay." I thought I had won the battle but boy was I wrong... he brought me an orangeade Snapple.

I thanked him for the nice gesture but then I told him to never bring me anything because in my words "I'm not a big fan of Snapple much anymore"... another lie... I like Raspberry Snapple ONLY. Plus, I love the Snapple Facts... heh... Anywhoots, he dropped it off and told me "its okies, you drink" and I argued that I had water and he just ignored me. Asshole. Nice gesture but still an asshole because of the following; he thought that by offering me stuff, he could stay late to fold but NO! It does NOT work like that. I gave him his 5 minute warning and on his way out he asked me why I want to close at 9pm and I told him that I want to go home too. He asked me if I wanted to walk him to his apartment and I told him "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" He then said he was kidding (in broken English of course). He asked me if I use MSN and I told him "NO! I do not use messengers, its not my thing" (another lie). He asked me what my shifts were and I told him that it varies and I'm not here most of the time (another lie... I practically live in this place). He finally said good night and left me alone to lock up. Bastard took 10 minutes of my life that I couldn't take back. -shakes head-

Today I had a neighbor of mine, a mechanic offer me services. It's not what it sounds like. His business isn't going that great because it's slow so he is trying to get my car into his shop. Not in a million years. I did take my car to his shop one Sunday and they wanted to charge me $480 just to change the exhaust. I told him "HELL NO! The exhaust pipe is only like 60 bucks dude!" After arguing for 5 minutes and me threatening him that I'm going to go someplace else, he changes the damaged part for 6o. I told the story to guy today and he tells me "you know, you just made my life miserable. I have to come to work now on Sundays" and I told him straight out "hey dude, not my fault your workers are trying to put money in their pocket. You should have laid down the rules or at least put cameras in your place." After 30 minutes of talking to me and telling me how I should try them again, he leaves. I thought that I was going to have a smooth night now that he was gone but nope. I was wrong once again. He came back. This time he came back with post cards with his business on them. I told him to just leave them on the table and if people are interested, they would pick them up. Somehow... we got into food. I didn't bring up food but he did...

He was asking me if I liked Afghanistan food and I told him that I never tried it. He told me that he is going to bring me some from around the corner right now and then asked if I liked spicy food. I told him that I don't like spicy food (a lie) and that I have sensitive taste buds so I don't try new food (another lie). Then he was forcing me to eat k-bobs and I told him "oh no, I am trying to become a vegetarian!" (Another lie once again). He didn't get the idea after me telling him no several times and I reached the point where I yelled "I DON'T WANT FOOD! LEAVE ME ALONE!" What does he say? "OK, I will bring you a veggie platter!" Dude, NO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? So I told him "Look, I don't like ethnic food. I am used to my kind of food. I grew up on it and I have sensitive taste buds. It is OK. Don't bring me anything. Please!" (HUGE lie on the ethnic food part.) He then says he will bring me Greek food and then I just look at him with what seemed to be a blank stare. I informed him that I didn't want anything and I thanked him for his gesture but he just went on. Finally I told him I had to go to the bathroom and he left me alone and said "okay, ill bring something one day for you to try." I just said "Okay" at that point. I really didn't go to the bathroom. I just went to the back room and waited until he left.

What is wrong with these people?! I was telling one of my customers about this and he pointed out that they are trying to get other stuff down my throat... not only food. Think about that one.

-sigh- I should put up a sign that says "if you don't accept the first no and you ask again, your dark clothes will get bleached when you aren't watching."

GLIDE.TRIP.FACEPLANT.

Today is one of those days where I just want to go in a corner, rock side to side in a blanket, and cry. For many reason. One being my customers.

Before I get into the "OMFG WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WERE YOU DROPPED AS A CHILD" stories, here is a funny one.

One of the customers, he must be in his early 40s, always manages to creep me out. Today he wanted to know the difference between Bleach and Bleach for colors... I told him and he didn't grasp the concept... anyways... when he came back to put his clothes in the dryer, he was skateboarding in the laundromat and he managed to trip or something and he fell. I didn't get out of the front area until I stopped laughing. I wanted to show my "sympathy" for him and make sure he was "okay". Really, I could care less about him but seeing his arms flail in the air while singing, was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.

Tis' all for tonight guys. I am tired =(

MONDAY'S POST

All day I was wondering why were so busy and why little kids aren't in school. Then I realized it was Columbus day. A friend texted me "Happy finding America then ruining it day". I laughed and I think the laughter was more for the fact that I forgot that it was a historical day. No wonder I didn't recieve my dvd in the mail... who would have thunk?... yes... thunk IS a word in MY dictionary.

Monday morning I had a passer-by argue WITH me that HE knew this was a dry cleaners and NOT a laundromat. After a minute of arguing, I gave in and said "you know what? You are absolutely right and when the apocolypse comes, YOU will know EXACTLY what to do." He looked at me as if I were the crazy one. He finally left after telling me that I am not a nice person.

The stupidest question of the day was : The washers use water to wash, right?
My ideal answer would have been "No. When it rains, we gather the rain drops in a bucket and put it in a BIG barrel so the machines can take the water from there. Then, little fairies come and start to dance around and sing *wash clothing wash so you can see day again*" while bashing her head against the washer. Yup. That would have made my year, not day but year.

Don't ask stupid question because when you do, little kittens die.

WHY ISN'T THERE A FULL MOON OUT?

... And if there is one out tonight, then that will explain the behavior of my customers. Where shall I start from?... From the beginning of the day would be good...

Believe it or not, folding can be relaxing at times. When I fold, I listen to my music and i just fold to the beat. Time passes by faster and I am in my own world. Today I didn't have music. Instead I had the sound of the dryers and a belt hitting up against the washer door. I felt like turning the washer off just to remove the "clanking" sound but I tuned it out eventually. A customer approached me for the fourth time this week looking for the seamstress. Before I get into the conversation he and I had, let me give you a bit of a background on him.

This perverted gentleman (if that is even possible) is a little bit over 6 feet tall and must weigh around 125 pounds. He is as thin as a toothpick. He is from Romania and has a heavy accent with a well trimmed beard. He is also a VERY nervous person and very punctual. Tell him "soon" and he would say "I need a precise time". I would say "Fuck you" but I fear he would ask for an exact time, an exact place, and the exact date. Oh and he must be in his early 60's or 70's.

For the past three days, today being the fourth- he would come around asking for the seamstress and for the past three days I would give him the exact times she would be here. He always missed her by 10-20 minutes. Unfortunately, I had to deal with him. Today he decided to wait for the seamstress's arrival and decided to ask me some questions to "get to know me." Now, I was so into what I was doing and I didn't bother to give him much attention let alone turn on my witt... I thought "hey, this guy is old... what can he possibly do?"... well... this is what went on:

Cust: I always see you here. Do you have hobbies?
LG: Yes.
Cust: Well, what are they?
LG: Oh, art, photography, sports, and video games.
-starts to talk about art and music-
Cust: You say you like video games?
LG: Yes
Cust: Like what? Cooking? Sports? Music? Sex?
-note the sex-
LG: Uh... Rpg, Fp.....
Cust: Oh, you no like sex video games?
LG:.... that... that doesn't exist...
Cust: Oh well you know uhuhmmm hahah hmmm

At this point my mouth is slightly open with what felt to be like a WHAT THE FUCK face. The first thing that came to my mind was this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

Straight from the best of Craig's list. I feel like printing it out and giving it to this guy. Anywhoots, seeing that I didn't have anything to say he said "well, I will let you finish your work."
I have come to the conclusion that 80% of the old people are perverted and or crazy...
Crazy is up next.

I have a customer that has been coming to us since day one. I never really speak to her but there is the occasional greetings and asking of one anothers well being. Recently, she has been bringing her mother to the laundromat and she has been scaring me. This is rare, for a human to scare me. It's not her looks or anything but it's the fact that she is always talking and chanting to herself. When I am around, she does this while looking at me, which when she does look at me, I go to a mirror to look at myself to see if there is anything wrong. She makes me paranoid. Today, she didn't stop looking at me at all. She even walked around the laundromat and came back to my folding table and just stood there.... mumbling something in Spanish and looking straight ahead. I asked her if she needed anything and she said "Nuh" and went back to her daughter. After fifteen minutes, I proceed to the front to assist a customer with something. When I go back to the folding tables, she stands right where I was standing while I was folding... I told her "excuse me, but I need this table... its has the clothes on it." She just looked at me and then went back to her daughter. Eerie is an understatement I think.... Where's my blanket? Something about old people today and it doesn't stop here! Read on!

This lady, I have wrote about her. She is the one who doesn't understand that I don't speak English and she always arrives to the laundromat with a home attendant. Well, today after telling her 4 or 90million times that I don't speak Spanish, she picked up her cane and I think she threatened me. She was shaking her cane at me in an angry voice.

At this point I went from relaxed to slightly irritated. I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. If I did speak Spanish I would tell her "Shake your cane at me one more time and I will shove it so far up your ass, you would need a wheelchair to help you." Oops! Did I say I was slightly irritated... sorry, I'm pissed off!

The day gets better for you readers but worse for me. Remember, today is also Thursday which means I am dealing with people that really aren't my customers.

After my break, I go back to work to only find out that one of my customers is drunk and won't stop talking. As a matter of fact, she manages to scare a little boy AND be bitchy towards me. She was bitchy because she was cranky and she was cranky because she is a waitress. I know how it is BUT its not that hard to move a bay carriage away from the washer. That is what she was bitchy about. A baby carriage blocking her washer. She came to ask me to move it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!? She could have moved it herself and when I told her I didn't want to move because there is a child in there, she replied "so I have to stand around all day until the lady comes back?" to which I kindly said "she took her son to the restroom. She won't be long." Then she started to blab and at that point, I just moved it to get it over with. When the lady came out of the restroom, she gave me a weird look and that is when I explained to her what happened. The crazy drunk lady decided to add her input by saying "I was a bitch to her." I had nothing to say to her... I just went along my business. A customer came and complained to me that she wouldn't shut up and to tell her something and I pointed out the whole freedom of speech thing and how you can't really tame drunk people... especially when they are mean drunks. I classified her as a mean one. She was at the laundromat for three hours straight and she only had two loads of laundry... go figure... oh and her husband abusive too but I will leave that story for another day.

Next up on the insane-o-mobile we have the guy who can't function the dryer and states that it is broken. He comes storming up to me in his bumble bee type sweater and starts yelling at me in Spanish. I let him finish and then I asked him kindly to tell me what the problem is in ENGLISH. He got pissed at that. Ladies and gentleman, never assume someone is or speaks Spanish. I went to check out his dryer to only point out to the fuckin retard that he had it on warm the whole time. He continued to yell and scream at me and I asked him to relax and calm down and he says "Calm down!? How can I calm down?! My clothes aren't dry"... I said "Sir, next time pay attention to what you press. YOU are at fault. NOT me." I walked away. I didn't want to deal with him anymore. He just started to rant again in Spanish to someone that speaks Spanish and that customer told the crazy one that the dryers are working right and he isn't. I win.

Lastly, I locked up late tonight because people like to have clothing fights with each other. Nothing says "FUN" like thongs and boxers being tossed around. DO THAT AGAIN AND ILL THROW YOU OUT INTO TRAFFIC.

I need a bath.

Good night.