WANT A SNICKERS? HERE TAKE A SNAPPLE!

When I was growing up, T.V shows taught me to never accept candy from strangers or anything really. Not even if they tell you a pretty pink princess is in a white van. Typically, parents are supposed to give you that kind of talk but when I was a young little girl, they didn't tell me anything. They were too busy working. As a matter of fact, I learned about sex from 90210 and Melrose Place. Yes, at that time I was around 7 or 8 years old... but hey, look at me now... I AM AS NORMAL AS I WILL EVER BE! Okies, that is a lie...

Yesterday and today I was being forced to eat and drink from two different Arab guys. Apparently they do NOT know the meaning of "no". I was amused at first and then it turned to annoyance.

On Monday, the guy was offering me a small snickers bar and I refused it. He kept pushing it on me and I lied by telling him I don't like chocolate. Well actually, it isn't a lie. I am not a big fan of milk chocolate but I LOVE white chocolate. Also, Snickers is WAY too sweet for me. After telling him all this, he continued to pressure me to take the chocolate when I finally raised my voice a tad bit and said "NO". That is when he said "okay. I see you drink Snapple. You like Snapple. You drink Snapple." I kept refusing that too and he finally said "okay." I thought I had won the battle but boy was I wrong... he brought me an orangeade Snapple.

I thanked him for the nice gesture but then I told him to never bring me anything because in my words "I'm not a big fan of Snapple much anymore"... another lie... I like Raspberry Snapple ONLY. Plus, I love the Snapple Facts... heh... Anywhoots, he dropped it off and told me "its okies, you drink" and I argued that I had water and he just ignored me. Asshole. Nice gesture but still an asshole because of the following; he thought that by offering me stuff, he could stay late to fold but NO! It does NOT work like that. I gave him his 5 minute warning and on his way out he asked me why I want to close at 9pm and I told him that I want to go home too. He asked me if I wanted to walk him to his apartment and I told him "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" He then said he was kidding (in broken English of course). He asked me if I use MSN and I told him "NO! I do not use messengers, its not my thing" (another lie). He asked me what my shifts were and I told him that it varies and I'm not here most of the time (another lie... I practically live in this place). He finally said good night and left me alone to lock up. Bastard took 10 minutes of my life that I couldn't take back. -shakes head-

Today I had a neighbor of mine, a mechanic offer me services. It's not what it sounds like. His business isn't going that great because it's slow so he is trying to get my car into his shop. Not in a million years. I did take my car to his shop one Sunday and they wanted to charge me $480 just to change the exhaust. I told him "HELL NO! The exhaust pipe is only like 60 bucks dude!" After arguing for 5 minutes and me threatening him that I'm going to go someplace else, he changes the damaged part for 6o. I told the story to guy today and he tells me "you know, you just made my life miserable. I have to come to work now on Sundays" and I told him straight out "hey dude, not my fault your workers are trying to put money in their pocket. You should have laid down the rules or at least put cameras in your place." After 30 minutes of talking to me and telling me how I should try them again, he leaves. I thought that I was going to have a smooth night now that he was gone but nope. I was wrong once again. He came back. This time he came back with post cards with his business on them. I told him to just leave them on the table and if people are interested, they would pick them up. Somehow... we got into food. I didn't bring up food but he did...

He was asking me if I liked Afghanistan food and I told him that I never tried it. He told me that he is going to bring me some from around the corner right now and then asked if I liked spicy food. I told him that I don't like spicy food (a lie) and that I have sensitive taste buds so I don't try new food (another lie). Then he was forcing me to eat k-bobs and I told him "oh no, I am trying to become a vegetarian!" (Another lie once again). He didn't get the idea after me telling him no several times and I reached the point where I yelled "I DON'T WANT FOOD! LEAVE ME ALONE!" What does he say? "OK, I will bring you a veggie platter!" Dude, NO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? So I told him "Look, I don't like ethnic food. I am used to my kind of food. I grew up on it and I have sensitive taste buds. It is OK. Don't bring me anything. Please!" (HUGE lie on the ethnic food part.) He then says he will bring me Greek food and then I just look at him with what seemed to be a blank stare. I informed him that I didn't want anything and I thanked him for his gesture but he just went on. Finally I told him I had to go to the bathroom and he left me alone and said "okay, ill bring something one day for you to try." I just said "Okay" at that point. I really didn't go to the bathroom. I just went to the back room and waited until he left.

What is wrong with these people?! I was telling one of my customers about this and he pointed out that they are trying to get other stuff down my throat... not only food. Think about that one.

-sigh- I should put up a sign that says "if you don't accept the first no and you ask again, your dark clothes will get bleached when you aren't watching."

DEAR TEACHERS,

Dear Teachers,

A new school year has begun and first off, good luck. Second, please teach these kids how to count and use their noggin. I know you are trying your best and the Excedrin is handy in your drawer but please, drill into their brains that FOUR QUARTERS= $1 and that you can't get half a dollar without getting the whole dollar in quarters. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TEACH THESE CHILDREN THE NECESSITIES OF LIFE!!! Kids do not need to know about Pluto not existing anymore, hell majority of them will hate Science. Teach them math, this way my life would be easier too.

Thank you!

Today I had a 10 year old and a 11 year old come in at two different times and neither of them knew how many quarters they needed... nor how many quarters a dollar gives you. How do I know the ages? I asked. Of course the first question was "aren't you supposed to be in school today?" The 10 year old gives me a $10 bill and asks for two fives. I explain to her that the change machine was out of order (once again) so I would have to manually give her quarters. This is how the convo went:

LG: How much in quarters do you need?
Cust: I need two fives.
LG: Okies, but the machine is out of order so I need to give you quarters here.
Cust: Five dollar bills.
LG: Machine out of order. Quarters here.
Cust: Um, I don't know.
LG: Well, how much were you going to put in the machine?
Cust: Uh -smiles nervously- um, five dollars.
LG: You have a lot of bags, are you sure?
Cust: Yes.
LG: OKay, here you go.
Cust: NO! I need ten.
LG: Is your mom here so you can ask her?
Cust: No, but I need 10 in quarters.
LG: Ok. How old are you?
Cust: 10

Alrighty... After she put her clothes in the washer, she blasted her ipod and sat down. I felt like shoving a book in here face. The 11 year old was just as bad. She didn't know how many quarters she would get back in a dollar so she thought I was cheating her when I gave her four quarters. I asked if her mom was around and she said no. Mind you, when I was questioning her, she didn't know how to respond to some of the questions and of course she blasted her iPod.

Dear Parents,

Please stop giving your children Mp3 players when they don't know simple math. In addition, please escort your children to the laundromat because they lack the common sense that they should have for their age. In addition, I might choke them due to the fact that I am explaining something to them that a three year old knows. May I also suggest that you shove a book in front of your child's face and if they have an allergic reaction to it, let them suffer.

Thank you!