MOMMY! IM A BIG KID!

Karma is hating me lately. Normally I have good karma. Maybe it isn't karma and just shitty luck. OR I am a magnet for these people. Maybe all of the above? I want to go into the fitting room, cover my head with some random towel, cry, and make believe that I am on an island owned by me. You guys are probably thinking that I am over exaggerating but removing play dough from a coin slot is serious business... especially when you have other morons hovering around the counter acting like they need something.



Play dough in a coin slot is something new to happen to me. The kid put a quarter to the dough to get a print on it and decided to put it in the slot. The kid thought that it was real currency. The mother praised the child and I scolded the mother. If you picture it, the mother should scold the child and I ignore the mother but the scolding and praising worked the other way. I spent 2o minutes cleaning out the fuckin dough... I hope the kid creates a donut and chokes on it... That is a mean remark but really, after a long day I am allowed to make such statements. I pointed out to the mother several times what her child did and many times I let out a heavy sigh. Every time I sighed she told her kid "its okay, it was clever for you to try it out. It is trial and error." I felt like telling the damn bitch "so if I kick you in the ass and I THINK you wouldn't fall face down but you do, that would be trial and error right?" But alas, I did not. I kept thinking *patience is virtue and in the end, it will be worth it*; however, my patience was being tested today by customers, co-workers, and family. Oh and after I cleaned out that gunk, I go over to the kid, get on one knee and tell him "what you did, was not nice and you could have damaged the machine. Don't do it again." The mother now scolded me... I should google a parenting class for her....



Next up!



All day customers were hovering over the counter and looking at the items (which is soap) that we sell. I would ask them "may I help you?" and they would say "no, I'm just looking." EXCUSE ME PEOPLE! THIS ISN'T WINDOW SHOPPING OR WINDOW DECORATIONS! IT'S FUCKIN TIDE!!! TIDE!!! THE CRAP THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!!! What else can you possibly be looking at?! Half way through the day, I did take a walk to the other side of the counter and took a look to, to see what these people are looking at. Just as I suspected... IT IS TIDE! JUST LIKE LAST WEEK, LAST MONTH, AND EVERY OTHER DAMN YEAR WE HAVE SOLD THIS STUFF! After a couple of customers doing this, I questioned this one lady. She is a nice lady with an old fashioned mentality so I was being nice to her. Nice people deserve niceness -nods- So when I questioned if she needed something, she said "oh I'm just looking." I questioned further "what are you looking at?" and she said "the soaps". I was still confused so I questioned further... "what about the soaps?" and she replied "I'm trying to see if they are all the same and if there is a difference between any of them." Trying to remain calm and not break brain cells, I said "but we only sell Tide. That is the only non-chlorine detergent we sell... everything else with the exclusion of Clorox 2, will stain your clothes." She said "So Tide and Clorox 2 are the same"... "No ma'am, they are different... C2 is bleach for colors, you can add that in with the Tide if you want." She just stood there. I asked her if she wanted any of it and she just said that she was still looking -face roll- WHY!?!?!?!?


From that I learned to not ask them if they want anything and to just leave them there until they ask for something.

THEN I had a customer ask me for a ten and two fives. I gave him exactly that and he was arguing that I stiffed him on a five dollar bill. I was pointing out that he had a ten dollar bill in hand as well as two fives... after 5 minutes, his wife comes over and she agrees with me. He started to apologize to me and offered me a drink to which I replied very fast "NO!"

... I am terrified of my customers buying me beverages now... why? Well, sometimes they lead to questions such as "will you marry me?" or "do you want a boyfriend?" and "want to web chat?" -cries-

As for family, I went to pick up an uncle and he just wouldn't shut the hell up! My dad and I would just ignore his questions sometimes but his mouth would still go 100mph! GAH! If it is karma, DAMN YOU!

WANT A SNICKERS? HERE TAKE A SNAPPLE!

When I was growing up, T.V shows taught me to never accept candy from strangers or anything really. Not even if they tell you a pretty pink princess is in a white van. Typically, parents are supposed to give you that kind of talk but when I was a young little girl, they didn't tell me anything. They were too busy working. As a matter of fact, I learned about sex from 90210 and Melrose Place. Yes, at that time I was around 7 or 8 years old... but hey, look at me now... I AM AS NORMAL AS I WILL EVER BE! Okies, that is a lie...

Yesterday and today I was being forced to eat and drink from two different Arab guys. Apparently they do NOT know the meaning of "no". I was amused at first and then it turned to annoyance.

On Monday, the guy was offering me a small snickers bar and I refused it. He kept pushing it on me and I lied by telling him I don't like chocolate. Well actually, it isn't a lie. I am not a big fan of milk chocolate but I LOVE white chocolate. Also, Snickers is WAY too sweet for me. After telling him all this, he continued to pressure me to take the chocolate when I finally raised my voice a tad bit and said "NO". That is when he said "okay. I see you drink Snapple. You like Snapple. You drink Snapple." I kept refusing that too and he finally said "okay." I thought I had won the battle but boy was I wrong... he brought me an orangeade Snapple.

I thanked him for the nice gesture but then I told him to never bring me anything because in my words "I'm not a big fan of Snapple much anymore"... another lie... I like Raspberry Snapple ONLY. Plus, I love the Snapple Facts... heh... Anywhoots, he dropped it off and told me "its okies, you drink" and I argued that I had water and he just ignored me. Asshole. Nice gesture but still an asshole because of the following; he thought that by offering me stuff, he could stay late to fold but NO! It does NOT work like that. I gave him his 5 minute warning and on his way out he asked me why I want to close at 9pm and I told him that I want to go home too. He asked me if I wanted to walk him to his apartment and I told him "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" He then said he was kidding (in broken English of course). He asked me if I use MSN and I told him "NO! I do not use messengers, its not my thing" (another lie). He asked me what my shifts were and I told him that it varies and I'm not here most of the time (another lie... I practically live in this place). He finally said good night and left me alone to lock up. Bastard took 10 minutes of my life that I couldn't take back. -shakes head-

Today I had a neighbor of mine, a mechanic offer me services. It's not what it sounds like. His business isn't going that great because it's slow so he is trying to get my car into his shop. Not in a million years. I did take my car to his shop one Sunday and they wanted to charge me $480 just to change the exhaust. I told him "HELL NO! The exhaust pipe is only like 60 bucks dude!" After arguing for 5 minutes and me threatening him that I'm going to go someplace else, he changes the damaged part for 6o. I told the story to guy today and he tells me "you know, you just made my life miserable. I have to come to work now on Sundays" and I told him straight out "hey dude, not my fault your workers are trying to put money in their pocket. You should have laid down the rules or at least put cameras in your place." After 30 minutes of talking to me and telling me how I should try them again, he leaves. I thought that I was going to have a smooth night now that he was gone but nope. I was wrong once again. He came back. This time he came back with post cards with his business on them. I told him to just leave them on the table and if people are interested, they would pick them up. Somehow... we got into food. I didn't bring up food but he did...

He was asking me if I liked Afghanistan food and I told him that I never tried it. He told me that he is going to bring me some from around the corner right now and then asked if I liked spicy food. I told him that I don't like spicy food (a lie) and that I have sensitive taste buds so I don't try new food (another lie). Then he was forcing me to eat k-bobs and I told him "oh no, I am trying to become a vegetarian!" (Another lie once again). He didn't get the idea after me telling him no several times and I reached the point where I yelled "I DON'T WANT FOOD! LEAVE ME ALONE!" What does he say? "OK, I will bring you a veggie platter!" Dude, NO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? So I told him "Look, I don't like ethnic food. I am used to my kind of food. I grew up on it and I have sensitive taste buds. It is OK. Don't bring me anything. Please!" (HUGE lie on the ethnic food part.) He then says he will bring me Greek food and then I just look at him with what seemed to be a blank stare. I informed him that I didn't want anything and I thanked him for his gesture but he just went on. Finally I told him I had to go to the bathroom and he left me alone and said "okay, ill bring something one day for you to try." I just said "Okay" at that point. I really didn't go to the bathroom. I just went to the back room and waited until he left.

What is wrong with these people?! I was telling one of my customers about this and he pointed out that they are trying to get other stuff down my throat... not only food. Think about that one.

-sigh- I should put up a sign that says "if you don't accept the first no and you ask again, your dark clothes will get bleached when you aren't watching."

WHEN ONE COMPLAINS, ALL COMPLAIN

On Thursday I had a lady approach me to tell me that her washer stopped working and the door wouldn’t open. This isn’t unusual so I grab my Phillips screw driver and a flat one just in case the machine was broken. Turns out, it was and it wouldn’t spin her clothes. I couldn’t fix the machine on the spot and I needed a part (which I didn’t have in the store) so I put the machine “out of service”. I refunded the quarters back to the customer and made my way back to the front until another lady approached me in a panicked voice saying that the dryer was broken because her clothing isn’t dry. (Keep in mind, the moron broke her cover). She stated that her dryer wasn’t hot and that her towels weren’t dry. I asked her how many quarters she put in her dryer and she said “five”. Then I asked her how many minutes there were and she said “28”. Okies, MATH TIME! Five times eight does NOT equal to 28.

I listened to her problem and I dropped a quarter into the dryer and put it on hot to see if the dryer was heating. As I was doing that, she yells “OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU PUT IT ON HOT!?” Two thoughts came running into my head: 1. Why do you still exist in society? and 2. Can I please bash your head against the dryer door? I pre –prepared myself for this stupidity and started to explain to her how to push the button with the following instructions:
1. Take your finger and choose the temperature you want.
2. Push the word on the temperature button once.
3. Remove finger.


I don’t think she enjoyed my sarcastic help but her response was “Oh! So you have to push the word and not the light! I see now, I was pushing the light over here and I was wondering why it wasn’t working. I thought you guys didn’t have the hot option but you do. I was just pressing the wrong button. You see, I am from out of town and I just have two or three times a year to do my mother’s laundry.” I wanted to ask her “you only do your mom’s laundry three times a year?” but I just let it go and answered that question by myself. The answer was “yes.” Trust me… it saved me a couple of brain cells that she may have killed. Honestly, I believe that once a customer makes a complaint publicly, others will follow. It ALWAYS happens.
I have this customer that always complains there isn’t enough water in the washer and I have told him “you are the only one complains. Obviously a problem isn’t with the machines.” He had given me one of those “how dare you” faces but I just walked away; however, when he complains, another customer complains about the machine eating their quarters where 98% of the time, I prove them wrong.

A poster that I would LOVE to put in my laundromat would say the following:

PEOPLE, STOP BEING STUPID AND DON’T FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE’S COMPLAINTS. YOU WILL JUST GET MOCKED BY ME FOLLOWED BY US, AT THE LAUNDROMAT, GIVING YOU A NAME!
STOP IT!