SPIN CYCLE

Allllooooo there!

Sorry for the lack of posts. I got sick for two days and then I got better and now I have an ear infection. I should probably go see a doctor... or take vitamins or something at least. On Wednesday I slept for 12 hours straight. It felt so damn good!

I am NOT into gossip. As a matter of fact, I hate it. Gossip is evil and just opens a box full of fail and evil. Yesterday my co-worker was telling about this customer that was asking her questions. I have talked about this customer before, she is the one that set my dryer on fire. It should be posted somewhere at the start of the blog. Anywhoots, she was asking my co-worker if she gets paid on time. My co-workers answered "yes" and then asked her why. Apparently, a customer had a friend that used to work at the laundromat. I call TOTAL bullshit! First off, the people that used to work at the laundromat were NOT Spanish, with the exception of two. Even those two Spanish workers didn't converse with this bitch. After asking her that question, she asked how our boss treats us because her friend told her my boss used to beat her. WHAT. THE. FUCK? Our boss has never laid a finger on us. See, this is how rumors get started, by stupid bitches. I should start spreading rumors about her and how she likes to make out with her cats or something... see if she likes that. Luckily, I am not like that... to start rumors or gossip. My co-worker gives her a sour face and says "no, she is very nice". She tried to get more answers out of my co-worker but my co-worker was smart enough to say "look, I have real work to do. I'll talk to you another time." The customer got upset and stopped talking to her.

Oh and this same customer had the nerve and demanded that I should remove MY clothes from the top dryer so she can use it. I told her "no, the quarters are in and there is a bunch of empty dryers in the back. I need dry clothes too." She told ME to go and use the back ones. I didn't and instead I gave her a look and ignored her for the rest of the night.

People like her make me wonder why they are still around. I wish there was a pack of wolves that sense stupid people and then they just destroy them...harsh? I don't think so. Cynical? Naw... Cynical would be me telling my father the following "either you go fix the car or you pay for my funeral!"

STORY TIME!

I like Mike. Mike sends me stories all the way from Kansas! He owns a laundromat and can relate to me. I thought stupid people going to laundries only existed in New York but I was wrong!
Mike wrote to me the following:

"I think the parents must tell the kids to wait 'til they get to the laundromat to run wild.  It's unbelievable! 

But most of the time, when the kids arrive, they behave pretty good.  But, as soon as the laundry is in the washers, it's time for Coke and cookies.  By the time the wash is in the dryer, the little rugrats are running wild.  Always jumping on all the seats, playing with all the doors, screaming and running like there is no tomorrow.  I guess at that point I have to talk to the parents and tell them, "if you want to spank your kids, I will loan you my belt."

And then, at just the time when the clothes are done, the kids are asleep in the middle of the floor."

---------------------------------

Mike, you have NO idea how much I want to trip their kids while they run. One of my achievements in life would be complete. The worst part is that majority of the parents keep feeding their kids thinking it would quiet them down. They are wrong! Once a customers kid thought it would be a good idea to color on all the tables. I pulled the mom aside and handed her the Greased Lightening and a towel. I made her clean it up because she gave her kid a bag of chips, juice (water, sugar, coloring), and a crap load of pure sugar candy. She wasn't happy but she didn't even punish the kid! It's unbelievable! Parents like that make me want to choke them.

-sigh-

I mentioned above Greased Lightening. People, if you have this available in your stores, buy it! It does wonders! We use it as a spot cleaner and it removes anything from grease, to ink, to blood. I even have a bottle at home to I can clean the oven top and counters. I swear by it! I am 89% sure they have them at all Home Depots but in the gallon size. If you want to find a store near you or if you can purchase it online, go here www.greased-lightning.com .






OH! VERY IMPORTANT!!! THIS WEEK, I WILL NOT HAVE A LAPTOP! I AM SENDING OUT MY LAPTOP TO BE PREPARED! I WILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE A POST ON SOMEONE ELSE'S COMPUTER!

With that being said, have a good one everyone!

A LETTER TO...

... Williamsburg, the mother of spawning hipsters and yuppies.

Dear People of Williamsburg,

Majority of you living in Williamsburg are starving "artists" yet you come from families that are loaded with money. These parent's send you off to another state or town just to satisfy your crave of the current trend. Unfortunately, these parent's do not send off their kids with a brain. It must be left behind or they must have been dropped when they were a wee bit lad. In addition the parent's have forgotten to teach their children the basics of math as well as laundry. I am 99.9% sure that Williamsburg has at least a laundromat where people can do laundry. If not, then that explains why the hippies/yuppies that are moving into my town, are retarded.

So Williamsburg, please teach your spawns of a trend to use the laundromat properly or open up more laundromats and offer classes.

Sincerely,

LLG

I have no words for today. Well, actually I do... since I am typing this blog.

It's 6:35 pm and the laundromat is pretty busy. The door opens and in walks a tall and thin male with curly long hair wearing a fedora. Half of his face is covered with acne. His shirt is black and white plaid and the undershirt is red. He is wearing tight skinny jeans. Put it this way... his jeans are so tight that you can make out his... you know what... never mind... anyways... he brings in two bags worth of laundry and he is pacing back and forth trying to figure out which washers he is going to use. He uses the ones that are right in front of the counter area. I let out a long "sigh" because I knew what was coming.


First off, the moron uses four washers and then he puts bleach in the washer with the mixed color clothing. Then he inserts quarters... the quarter wouldn't be accepted by the machine. Without looking up I told him "don't you even dare to bang the machine. I see you. Use the coin return button." I think I scared him because he jumped a bit. He had trouble putting quarters into the machine and I asked him if he needed help and he said "no." It was HILARIOUS watching him trying to coordinate his hand with putting the quarter in the slot and then pushing the button. I did an eye roll and went to help him. He gave me the quarter and I put it in the coin slot without any trouble. Now, here is where he was having trouble with his math... our machine takes 7 quarters and he inserted four quarters, leaving him with three more quarters to go.

He complained that the machine didn't register the fourth quarter, but it did. The counter was showing that he needed to put in three more quarters but he was convinced that the machine didn't register it. I think he has ingrown curls in his brain... anyways, I open up the coin box and I show him that there are four quarters in there. Then I take my index finger and point out that he needs to put in three more quarters. He got pissed.

Fuck if I care that he got pissed. Not my fault he refuses to use his brain. Other people around him were snickering and laughing. I felt like saying "Uh dude, Williamsburg called and they are looking for their residential moron, they are missing you." Trust me, I was biting my tongue.

I can't stress enough that doing laundry is NOT a hard thing to do! Certain things that come with it as well, it isn't hard to achieve. Can we bring back School House Rock? Except this time, make a mini episode about laundry and math...

For those who don't remember School House Rock, here is a YouTube video:



Also, if this post seems a bit off, forgive me. I am sleep deprived and pretty exhausted.

MOMMY! IM A BIG KID!

Karma is hating me lately. Normally I have good karma. Maybe it isn't karma and just shitty luck. OR I am a magnet for these people. Maybe all of the above? I want to go into the fitting room, cover my head with some random towel, cry, and make believe that I am on an island owned by me. You guys are probably thinking that I am over exaggerating but removing play dough from a coin slot is serious business... especially when you have other morons hovering around the counter acting like they need something.



Play dough in a coin slot is something new to happen to me. The kid put a quarter to the dough to get a print on it and decided to put it in the slot. The kid thought that it was real currency. The mother praised the child and I scolded the mother. If you picture it, the mother should scold the child and I ignore the mother but the scolding and praising worked the other way. I spent 2o minutes cleaning out the fuckin dough... I hope the kid creates a donut and chokes on it... That is a mean remark but really, after a long day I am allowed to make such statements. I pointed out to the mother several times what her child did and many times I let out a heavy sigh. Every time I sighed she told her kid "its okay, it was clever for you to try it out. It is trial and error." I felt like telling the damn bitch "so if I kick you in the ass and I THINK you wouldn't fall face down but you do, that would be trial and error right?" But alas, I did not. I kept thinking *patience is virtue and in the end, it will be worth it*; however, my patience was being tested today by customers, co-workers, and family. Oh and after I cleaned out that gunk, I go over to the kid, get on one knee and tell him "what you did, was not nice and you could have damaged the machine. Don't do it again." The mother now scolded me... I should google a parenting class for her....



Next up!



All day customers were hovering over the counter and looking at the items (which is soap) that we sell. I would ask them "may I help you?" and they would say "no, I'm just looking." EXCUSE ME PEOPLE! THIS ISN'T WINDOW SHOPPING OR WINDOW DECORATIONS! IT'S FUCKIN TIDE!!! TIDE!!! THE CRAP THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!!! What else can you possibly be looking at?! Half way through the day, I did take a walk to the other side of the counter and took a look to, to see what these people are looking at. Just as I suspected... IT IS TIDE! JUST LIKE LAST WEEK, LAST MONTH, AND EVERY OTHER DAMN YEAR WE HAVE SOLD THIS STUFF! After a couple of customers doing this, I questioned this one lady. She is a nice lady with an old fashioned mentality so I was being nice to her. Nice people deserve niceness -nods- So when I questioned if she needed something, she said "oh I'm just looking." I questioned further "what are you looking at?" and she said "the soaps". I was still confused so I questioned further... "what about the soaps?" and she replied "I'm trying to see if they are all the same and if there is a difference between any of them." Trying to remain calm and not break brain cells, I said "but we only sell Tide. That is the only non-chlorine detergent we sell... everything else with the exclusion of Clorox 2, will stain your clothes." She said "So Tide and Clorox 2 are the same"... "No ma'am, they are different... C2 is bleach for colors, you can add that in with the Tide if you want." She just stood there. I asked her if she wanted any of it and she just said that she was still looking -face roll- WHY!?!?!?!?


From that I learned to not ask them if they want anything and to just leave them there until they ask for something.

THEN I had a customer ask me for a ten and two fives. I gave him exactly that and he was arguing that I stiffed him on a five dollar bill. I was pointing out that he had a ten dollar bill in hand as well as two fives... after 5 minutes, his wife comes over and she agrees with me. He started to apologize to me and offered me a drink to which I replied very fast "NO!"

... I am terrified of my customers buying me beverages now... why? Well, sometimes they lead to questions such as "will you marry me?" or "do you want a boyfriend?" and "want to web chat?" -cries-

As for family, I went to pick up an uncle and he just wouldn't shut the hell up! My dad and I would just ignore his questions sometimes but his mouth would still go 100mph! GAH! If it is karma, DAMN YOU!