THE JERK

I don't understand some people and I am not going to start trying to understand them. I am still sick to even try and argue. Today I worked. I was feeling a bit better and to be quite honest with you guys, I couldn’t stay in bed again… all day. My body hurts from just laying down all day Saturday and Sunday. When I talk, it sounds as if someone is holding my nose together. It could be worse and I am thankful it is not.

Today a customer came to pick up his dry cleaning. I would love to call him Mr. Upper East Side with a Stick Shoved Up his Ass… but it’s too long. Guess I can call him a Douche Bag but someone else has claimed that title. Meh, I will stick to Jerk. He dropped off his dry cleaning on Saturday and the owner of the Laundromat serviced him. According to the owner, Mr. Jerk gave one instruction which was to remove the pills from his jacket. The dry cleaner dude followed the instructions and did so. Mr. Jerk was informed that there would be an extra charge to pill removing. Mr. Jerk was not too happy about that. Oh, let me not forget this part… Mr. Jerk had a friend with him. This to me is significant because when someone has a compadre (friend) with him, the person’s behavior changes. I have observed this many times with different customers. For instance, when a customer is picking up something alone, they seem nice and have manners. When the same customer comes with a friend to pick up something, they become cocky/conceited and they forget their manners. It is quite pathetic if you ask me.

Mr. Jerk walks into my Laundromat with his friend. While chewing he starts to ramble on about insignificant information that he thinks I need… here is the dialogue:

Mr. Jerk (MJ): hi so I dropped off clothes but I don’t have my ticket.
Me: Is it dry cleaning or laundry?
MJ: its two tickets with a suit and jackets. A couple of slacks and sweaters…
Me: So dry cleaning?
MJ: Yeah. This other lady…
(I cut him off)
Me: Your name?
MJ: Mr. Jerk
Me: When did you drop it off?
Mj: (he starts talking to himself) Let see, what is today? Oh yeah, today is Monday and yesterday was Sunday. So, I dropped it off on Saturday.
Me: Okay...
(I find his stuff and I hand it over)
Me: I just need you to sign the book since you didn’t have your tickets.
MJ: What am I signing for, you want my autograph huh?
Me: No, not really.
(His friend laughs)
MJ: So how much?
Me: $63.00
MJ: I thought it was less than that!
Me: Well, you got charged extra for the lint removal.
MJ: So if I were to go somewhere else in this neighborhood to get the dry cleaning and pills removed done for me, it would be cheaper?
(That above is a typical threat that customers say so they can get a couple of bucks knocked off)
Me: Probably but who knows.
MJ: I just praised you guys and gave you good words to my friend and now you charge me that extra 6 bucks?
Me: Yup! It works out great, doesn’t it?
MJ: I don’t know anymore…
(His friend whispers to him “they did a fantastic job” and Mr. Jerk nudged him)
Me: Well anyways, here is your receipt and have a good night.
MJ: How do they dry clean this stuff?
Me: Chemicals, heat, and steam to clean and press clothing and other fabrics. In the past they used to use formaldehyde but now they don’t.

He tried to say something else but I cut him off with “well, have a nice one!” and they left. His attitude was pretty bad and cocky. I could have embarrassed him in front of his friend but my nose needed to be blown badly. See, it’s people like Mr. Jerk that makes me wish that they fall into a ditch already. He wasn’t even cute to be cocky, let alone smart...

SOMETHING NEW

This has happened for the first time ever.

These two guys must be new to laundry and the English language. They asked me how to turn on the water from the sink so they can put it in the washer. This is how it went down:

Cust: I need water.
Me: What for?
Cust: For the machine.
Me: What?
Cust: I need water.
Me: In the sink.

Yes this is a delayed reaction.

Me: WAIT! Where are you going to PUT the water?!
Cust: I need to wash my clothes.

He and I walk to the sink and then to the washer.

Cust: Clothes need wash.
Me: You need to put quarters in it and the wash will start. Water will come down and the soap will dissolve.
Cust: I need water.
Me: Are you thirsty?
Cust: Machine water.
Me: QUARTERS!! YOU NEED TO PUT QUARTERS. LOOK!!!!

Apparently his friend did speak English but he just sat back. I gave him a glare and withheld the comment of "YOU ARE A JERK".

Come on people, get it together!!! YOU NEED QUARTERS TO DO A FUCKIN WASH!!!

Oh and here is a bonus, a lady at my local bakery today didn't know the difference between butter and cream cheese. I asked for butter and she put cream cheese and said "its the same". So I replied "It won't be the same if you decide to not make me another one." I am a cranky person in the morning. Especially at 7am with only 4 hours of sleep. Like I said before, I am a nice person but if you don't use your noggin, you are in for a knockin... get it?...no?... WELL FINE!