One would think that if you leave to go to the bathroom for 3 minutes nothing would happen right? WRONG! I go back to work after the bathroom to only find a wet floor and an old man with a broom in his hand and a Mexican staring at him. I swear I felt like I walked into war. Apparently the washer was leaking water because something was stuck in the door and he tried to clean it up. He made the place look very messy. I grabbed the mop and mopped it up. Now, I leave the laundromat for 2 minutes to grab a bottles water, to only come back and find the Mexican with the mop in his hand and the place being wetter than before. WHAT THE FUCK!? Now I have to start locking up the mop and bucket?! Did these people get mop happy!? WHY!? The Spanish dude was trying to justify his actions by saying that the place had markings on the floor.
Okies, after I cleaned the first time, I said "I'll pass it again with the mop when everyone leaves" AND I walked with two towels to pick up excess water. Why did he have to go and mop again? Please... someone... explain this logic to me?! Or lack of logic... This Spanish guy is the same guy that is trying to make me go to the park with him to work out. I'll pass. I can do it on my own thank you very much. JUST LIKE HOW I USE THE FUCKIN MOP ON MY OWN.
*breathes*
Its too early in the morning to pop a vein. I'm sure there will be more stories later.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I don't know if its the laundromat or people's desperation but I have had many marraige proposals at the laundromat....
Today, someone as me to marry them because they needed to use the bathroom. Mind you I have two signs on the doo, in English and in Spanish stating that the bathroom is for customers only. He started telling me how pretty I am and how much of a sweet heart I look like. Then he continued to suck up even more. I told him I was married and he asked if I was happy... I said yes. I should have said "im married to my hand and I am quite happy" but that would just induce him to have fantasies. As for the ring part, I said I don't wear it anymore because I don't like wearing jewelry. Scary? No. Entertaining? Yes. Soon to be stalker? Well fuck! I hope not!
Today, someone as me to marry them because they needed to use the bathroom. Mind you I have two signs on the doo, in English and in Spanish stating that the bathroom is for customers only. He started telling me how pretty I am and how much of a sweet heart I look like. Then he continued to suck up even more. I told him I was married and he asked if I was happy... I said yes. I should have said "im married to my hand and I am quite happy" but that would just induce him to have fantasies. As for the ring part, I said I don't wear it anymore because I don't like wearing jewelry. Scary? No. Entertaining? Yes. Soon to be stalker? Well fuck! I hope not!
NO, I DON'T KNOW...
... NOR WOULD I LIKE TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever have that customer who will not shut the fuck up?... Even when you aren't giving him any attention? if you have not had that customer yet, I pray that you get one so you will KNOW what it feels like.
I don't mind chit chatting with my customers; however when you see me trying to figure out billing crap and juggle other customers, then leave me the fuck alone. Oh and let me add this, this customer has called me every name in the book except mine. From Meg to some ugly ass name with a T. It is nowhere close to my name. I even gave up on correcting him. I just call him Bob. No joke. It is not his real name but he doesn't say anything when I call him Bob. Maybe he doesn't know his own name? He is in his 50s... maybe 60s... His wife is funny, but she will be talked about later on.
So Bob starts reminiscing with me about how he used to collect comics and how he has a bunch of books worth a lot of money. At the end of the sentence he kept adding "you know?"... No I don't know nor do I want to find out but he continues to go on and on. Now I don't mind talking about sports with my customers. As a matter of fact, I love sports... but again, today wasn't the right time to talk about baseball.
So he continues until I finally crack and tell him that I was busy. Did he get the point? Of course not. He continued. Finally, I took a load out of wash so I can leave the front area, only to be followed. I turned to him and gave him a look and he backed off. All it took was a look? Maybe I should be trying that with every other customer.
His wife is another nutjob but seeing the two of them, is a comedy act. She is disgusting too. She walks past me and farts loudly. She uses vulgar language and she always argues with her husband. I believe she might be older than him. I will never forget this one day where the two of them were arguing over ice cream. The wife goes to get ice cream and doesn't ask if Bob wants some and this is what they exchange:
Bob: Why didn't you get me ice cream?
Wife: You don't need it and its mine.
Bob: Yeah well you don't need it either. Give me some ice cream.
(Mind you she only has one scoop of ice cream)
Wife: Fuck, you go get some yourself. This is my ice cream.
(Bob goes to get ice cream and he comes back with half a pint)
Wife: You are a fat fuck. You don't need it! Give me some.
Bob: NO! You should have shared.
They exchanged a couple of more "F" words and then changed the subject to how much she cannot stand going to the "home" to see his mother.
Old people crack me up... unless they are crazy like the one from yesterday.
Ever have that customer who will not shut the fuck up?... Even when you aren't giving him any attention? if you have not had that customer yet, I pray that you get one so you will KNOW what it feels like.
I don't mind chit chatting with my customers; however when you see me trying to figure out billing crap and juggle other customers, then leave me the fuck alone. Oh and let me add this, this customer has called me every name in the book except mine. From Meg to some ugly ass name with a T. It is nowhere close to my name. I even gave up on correcting him. I just call him Bob. No joke. It is not his real name but he doesn't say anything when I call him Bob. Maybe he doesn't know his own name? He is in his 50s... maybe 60s... His wife is funny, but she will be talked about later on.
So Bob starts reminiscing with me about how he used to collect comics and how he has a bunch of books worth a lot of money. At the end of the sentence he kept adding "you know?"... No I don't know nor do I want to find out but he continues to go on and on. Now I don't mind talking about sports with my customers. As a matter of fact, I love sports... but again, today wasn't the right time to talk about baseball.
So he continues until I finally crack and tell him that I was busy. Did he get the point? Of course not. He continued. Finally, I took a load out of wash so I can leave the front area, only to be followed. I turned to him and gave him a look and he backed off. All it took was a look? Maybe I should be trying that with every other customer.
His wife is another nutjob but seeing the two of them, is a comedy act. She is disgusting too. She walks past me and farts loudly. She uses vulgar language and she always argues with her husband. I believe she might be older than him. I will never forget this one day where the two of them were arguing over ice cream. The wife goes to get ice cream and doesn't ask if Bob wants some and this is what they exchange:
Bob: Why didn't you get me ice cream?
Wife: You don't need it and its mine.
Bob: Yeah well you don't need it either. Give me some ice cream.
(Mind you she only has one scoop of ice cream)
Wife: Fuck, you go get some yourself. This is my ice cream.
(Bob goes to get ice cream and he comes back with half a pint)
Wife: You are a fat fuck. You don't need it! Give me some.
Bob: NO! You should have shared.
They exchanged a couple of more "F" words and then changed the subject to how much she cannot stand going to the "home" to see his mother.
Old people crack me up... unless they are crazy like the one from yesterday.
Monday, July 27, 2009
NOTE
Today’s posts was posted in separate entries. I decided to do this to make the reading easier and so you won’t see a whole wall of text.
Thank you!
Thank you!
SPANISH 101…LEVEL: HELL NO
I have mentioned before that I am not fluent in Spanish. I do understand a couple of words thanks to junior high school. I can –try- to pick it up again but I rather not. Is it useful? Of course… but why should –I- have to go learn it when they can go learn English… for free might I add.
So around 11am, I am getting cursed out in Spanish by an 80 year old lady. We actually know her from the past and my dear god is she crazy. I asked for her name to put on the dry cleaning ticket and she gave it to me. Then she started throwing out some numbers at me and I just waited until she was done. If I were to disturb her number marathon, then I would have gotten some type of lecture in Spanish. Plus, I must confess that I was highly amused. After her little number thingy, I asked for her number only to be given a shit load of numbers again. I go to her “TELEPHONE… TELEPHONO… RING RING” (I did add the ringing to it… I stooped to a new level and a brain cell is dead for that)… finally the crazy old lady decided to call over her home attendant and the phone number was finally given to me.
She later introduced another problem to me… in Spanish and after me flailing my arms in front of her in a “no” motion and saying “I don’t understand you and I don’t speak English”, she started cursing at me in Spanish. I should have kicked that lil’ old bitch to see how far she would fly. Her home attendant finally came to my rescue and said that she wanted something but couldn’t describe it. A. How the fuck is that my fault? B. Why am I getting cursed at? Finally, C. Why is she waving her cane at me?
The nice home attendant came to me for quarters and she apologized. She also started to share with me her problems (I am a therapist as well) with the old lady. Apparently she is a tad bit crazy and exhausting to be around.
When they left, the old lady gave me a death stare and I shot back a one eye stare. If she were to walk into the glass, I would have laughed.
So around 11am, I am getting cursed out in Spanish by an 80 year old lady. We actually know her from the past and my dear god is she crazy. I asked for her name to put on the dry cleaning ticket and she gave it to me. Then she started throwing out some numbers at me and I just waited until she was done. If I were to disturb her number marathon, then I would have gotten some type of lecture in Spanish. Plus, I must confess that I was highly amused. After her little number thingy, I asked for her number only to be given a shit load of numbers again. I go to her “TELEPHONE… TELEPHONO… RING RING” (I did add the ringing to it… I stooped to a new level and a brain cell is dead for that)… finally the crazy old lady decided to call over her home attendant and the phone number was finally given to me.
She later introduced another problem to me… in Spanish and after me flailing my arms in front of her in a “no” motion and saying “I don’t understand you and I don’t speak English”, she started cursing at me in Spanish. I should have kicked that lil’ old bitch to see how far she would fly. Her home attendant finally came to my rescue and said that she wanted something but couldn’t describe it. A. How the fuck is that my fault? B. Why am I getting cursed at? Finally, C. Why is she waving her cane at me?
The nice home attendant came to me for quarters and she apologized. She also started to share with me her problems (I am a therapist as well) with the old lady. Apparently she is a tad bit crazy and exhausting to be around.
When they left, the old lady gave me a death stare and I shot back a one eye stare. If she were to walk into the glass, I would have laughed.
Morning Blues
Waking up in the morning is not easy for some people. I am one of those people. The morning shift isn’t bad (unless you have a couple of people with a few screws loose); it’s just the waking up part. The bright side is that I get the evening off to sit back, play a few games, and relax.
When I woke up this morning, I imagined the workday to be calm since Sunday was busy. It was calm. Until a customer came and started to yell at me that I didn’t wait for her to pick up her clothes before I locked up.
Last time I checked, the Laundromat closes at 9:00pm, not 9:05. I explained to her that the night shift co-worker warned me that someone left clothing behind and that the clothes stopped drying at 7:43pm. I asked her where she was for almost 2 hours and she said “I was home with my boyfriend watching a movie”. Well there you go sunshine! Just like you were watching a movie at home all cuddly and snuggled, the nightshift worker wanted to go home and I told her that. Her reaction was “oh no you didn’t” type of look. She complained some more and wanted to speak to a manager. I told her that she was speaking to a manger, I and that my co-worker was smart to lock up at 9pm. She took her clothes from the dryer and stormed off. I did say “have a wonderful day” but I think that pissed her off even more. Kindness either kills people or pisses them off. Oh well.
Normally I don’t wait around for people until 9pm if I know for a fact there clothing has been in the dryer for an hour and a half or more. I work 9 hours and sometimes 14 hours a day. Especially now, I have more hours because someone took a vacation. By the 8th hour, I am tired, cranky, mentally exhausted, and most likely to kill the next person who tells me “my washer isn’t starting up”. The fact that my co-worker stayed around until 9pm, was an act of kindness. I should have scolded her but I was too busy enjoying my day off by bumming around in pajamas and eating coco puffs.
I actually have a customer that doesn’t bother picking up his clothes after he finishes washing them. It takes him three days to do his laundry. He is a “rapper” or a “hip-hop” artist so he doesn’t have “time”. Sometimes I feel like bonking him over his head. He tried to impress me by saying “I don’t play video games but my roommate does. I like girls and smoking a blunt.” This was a cue for me to smile, nod, and say something clever. Did he impress me? Of course not. NEXT!Bottom line is, pick up your crap on time from wherever you do laundry because come the next day, I don’t want to fuckin hear you. Period.
When I woke up this morning, I imagined the workday to be calm since Sunday was busy. It was calm. Until a customer came and started to yell at me that I didn’t wait for her to pick up her clothes before I locked up.
Last time I checked, the Laundromat closes at 9:00pm, not 9:05. I explained to her that the night shift co-worker warned me that someone left clothing behind and that the clothes stopped drying at 7:43pm. I asked her where she was for almost 2 hours and she said “I was home with my boyfriend watching a movie”. Well there you go sunshine! Just like you were watching a movie at home all cuddly and snuggled, the nightshift worker wanted to go home and I told her that. Her reaction was “oh no you didn’t” type of look. She complained some more and wanted to speak to a manager. I told her that she was speaking to a manger, I and that my co-worker was smart to lock up at 9pm. She took her clothes from the dryer and stormed off. I did say “have a wonderful day” but I think that pissed her off even more. Kindness either kills people or pisses them off. Oh well.
Normally I don’t wait around for people until 9pm if I know for a fact there clothing has been in the dryer for an hour and a half or more. I work 9 hours and sometimes 14 hours a day. Especially now, I have more hours because someone took a vacation. By the 8th hour, I am tired, cranky, mentally exhausted, and most likely to kill the next person who tells me “my washer isn’t starting up”. The fact that my co-worker stayed around until 9pm, was an act of kindness. I should have scolded her but I was too busy enjoying my day off by bumming around in pajamas and eating coco puffs.
I actually have a customer that doesn’t bother picking up his clothes after he finishes washing them. It takes him three days to do his laundry. He is a “rapper” or a “hip-hop” artist so he doesn’t have “time”. Sometimes I feel like bonking him over his head. He tried to impress me by saying “I don’t play video games but my roommate does. I like girls and smoking a blunt.” This was a cue for me to smile, nod, and say something clever. Did he impress me? Of course not. NEXT!Bottom line is, pick up your crap on time from wherever you do laundry because come the next day, I don’t want to fuckin hear you. Period.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I WANT MY CAKE!
I have never seen an grown overweight/obese woman cry for cake in the laundromat. I find it quite humorous and sad at the same time.
Here is a bit of information about this lady, this way you could get an idea of what I'm talking about.
She is about 5'8" and over 300 pounds. When she walks, she waddles and when she waddles, it takes her 4 minutes to get from the front of the laundromat to the back (I'm not exaggerating either... I counted because I was bored and curious). It takes her 20 minutes to put clothes in the wash and it is irritating because she takes her sweet ass time. Its irritating to watch someone take their sweet time because I am so used to doing things quick so I can get it out of the way. No joke, this lady will come into the laundromat at 1pm and leave at 7pm. She only has 3 loads of laundry.... Please explain to me why it takes so friggin long to do 3 loads? Within 6 hours, I could complete a day's worth of work and my own. What the hell!? Even her husband has asked me why she takes so long and I did not have an answer. He can't even understand why.
One day, she was taking too long and her husband came to the laundromat to see why she was taking that long. She was eating tuna from a can with crackers and he yanked it away from her and started to question her. She didn't have an answer and he yells at her "IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP, NO SLICE OF BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR YOU!" She started to cry and say how much she wanted that slice and that he wasn't being fair. I was laughing behind the door and I assume everyone else doing their laundry was staring. I know I would. So she cried for cake and then they argued. He then asked for ten dollars and she refused to give him the ten. That is when she lost her privilege for eating the cake the whole day, which ended up being a chocolate cake.
She cried for 20 minutes. For cake. Wait, wait... this is more important... CHOCOLATE CAKE.
Moral of the story, don't let cake be your weakness.
Here is a bit of information about this lady, this way you could get an idea of what I'm talking about.
She is about 5'8" and over 300 pounds. When she walks, she waddles and when she waddles, it takes her 4 minutes to get from the front of the laundromat to the back (I'm not exaggerating either... I counted because I was bored and curious). It takes her 20 minutes to put clothes in the wash and it is irritating because she takes her sweet ass time. Its irritating to watch someone take their sweet time because I am so used to doing things quick so I can get it out of the way. No joke, this lady will come into the laundromat at 1pm and leave at 7pm. She only has 3 loads of laundry.... Please explain to me why it takes so friggin long to do 3 loads? Within 6 hours, I could complete a day's worth of work and my own. What the hell!? Even her husband has asked me why she takes so long and I did not have an answer. He can't even understand why.
One day, she was taking too long and her husband came to the laundromat to see why she was taking that long. She was eating tuna from a can with crackers and he yanked it away from her and started to question her. She didn't have an answer and he yells at her "IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP, NO SLICE OF BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR YOU!" She started to cry and say how much she wanted that slice and that he wasn't being fair. I was laughing behind the door and I assume everyone else doing their laundry was staring. I know I would. So she cried for cake and then they argued. He then asked for ten dollars and she refused to give him the ten. That is when she lost her privilege for eating the cake the whole day, which ended up being a chocolate cake.
She cried for 20 minutes. For cake. Wait, wait... this is more important... CHOCOLATE CAKE.
Moral of the story, don't let cake be your weakness.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
GOOD MORNING....
....ugh...
Imagine a customer coming up to you in a very hyper cheerie voice and asking for stuff, wouldn't you want to stab them? Your answer should be yes...
Cust: GOOD MORNING!
Me: Morning.
Cust: HOW ARE YOU!?
Me: tired... really tired...
Cust: You look hungover! Where did you go!?
(im trying to hold back from punching her and trying not to puke from her hyperness)
Me: what do you want?
Cust: THATS NOT NICE! You seem interesting and I figured we could talk!
Me: *blinks* Um, raincheck please...
Cust: OKAY! I UNDERSTAND, YOU ARE FUNNY!
Me: Im going to walk away now...
Yeah...
Imagine a customer coming up to you in a very hyper cheerie voice and asking for stuff, wouldn't you want to stab them? Your answer should be yes...
Cust: GOOD MORNING!
Me: Morning.
Cust: HOW ARE YOU!?
Me: tired... really tired...
Cust: You look hungover! Where did you go!?
(im trying to hold back from punching her and trying not to puke from her hyperness)
Me: what do you want?
Cust: THATS NOT NICE! You seem interesting and I figured we could talk!
Me: *blinks* Um, raincheck please...
Cust: OKAY! I UNDERSTAND, YOU ARE FUNNY!
Me: Im going to walk away now...
Yeah...
Friday, July 24, 2009
MY NUTS!
Ladies and gentlemen, those of you who have kids and bring them to the laundromat, please keep them within your site at all times. Your children may be angels at home but in public, they are demons awaiting to let go of their wrath. You may not know thing because you are too busy talking to your friend about what rice you used last night or what underwear to buy.
Two kids went up to a lady (this lady is not sane by the way) and just stood their and watched the lady eat her peanuts. The lady offers the 2 year old and the 5 year old peanuts. I recall her saying this exact words "Want peanuts? Give me your little hand." The first thought that came to mind was "oh great, now I have to fill out a police report for pedophelia" and "I wonder if she owns a white van". Anyways, the lil' girl puts her hand out to only be given a couple of peanuts. The little girl puts one in her mouth and goes to throw them out. The lady then yells at her "Why did you give me your hands for nuts if you were just going to throw them away? Shoot, those are my nuts. You are disrespectful for throwing away my nuts. Next time im not giving you any nuts. They are my nuts". I kid you not the lil girl was giving her a stare and then ran to her mother. After that, the lady was talking to herself about the bag of nuts being 99 cents and how the girl tossed the nuts out. I couldn't help but laugh and think at the same "stupid lil girl, what if that was a kidnapper?".
Moral of the story, do not mess with peoples nuts in the laundromat. Better yet, do not take anything from anyone... no matter how curious you are.
This lady is the same lady that gave me a lecture on laxatives and how she lost weight on them. She is also the one that decided to bring all her psycho friends to my laundromat to wash. I tried to be nice to one of them by saying "did you dye your hair? its pretty"... It got thrown back in my face by her basically saying "no, I got older and my hair color changed. Im old."... I think she was expecting 'Oh you are not old!' from me, but I turned away and quickly walked to my safe spot. Behind the counter.
KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM CRAZY PEOPLE AND DON'T COMPLIMENT CRAZY PEOPLE.
Two kids went up to a lady (this lady is not sane by the way) and just stood their and watched the lady eat her peanuts. The lady offers the 2 year old and the 5 year old peanuts. I recall her saying this exact words "Want peanuts? Give me your little hand." The first thought that came to mind was "oh great, now I have to fill out a police report for pedophelia" and "I wonder if she owns a white van". Anyways, the lil' girl puts her hand out to only be given a couple of peanuts. The little girl puts one in her mouth and goes to throw them out. The lady then yells at her "Why did you give me your hands for nuts if you were just going to throw them away? Shoot, those are my nuts. You are disrespectful for throwing away my nuts. Next time im not giving you any nuts. They are my nuts". I kid you not the lil girl was giving her a stare and then ran to her mother. After that, the lady was talking to herself about the bag of nuts being 99 cents and how the girl tossed the nuts out. I couldn't help but laugh and think at the same "stupid lil girl, what if that was a kidnapper?".
Moral of the story, do not mess with peoples nuts in the laundromat. Better yet, do not take anything from anyone... no matter how curious you are.
This lady is the same lady that gave me a lecture on laxatives and how she lost weight on them. She is also the one that decided to bring all her psycho friends to my laundromat to wash. I tried to be nice to one of them by saying "did you dye your hair? its pretty"... It got thrown back in my face by her basically saying "no, I got older and my hair color changed. Im old."... I think she was expecting 'Oh you are not old!' from me, but I turned away and quickly walked to my safe spot. Behind the counter.
KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM CRAZY PEOPLE AND DON'T COMPLIMENT CRAZY PEOPLE.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
WEDNESDAY'S POST
In the past I would sit and wonder about some of my customers about their level of incompentance and lack of common sense. Now, I just go with it. I answer what they want to hear and argue with kindness, a lethal verbal weapon. No need to curse... unless I really have to. Actually, I do argue a bit just get the point accross but when I see a lost cause, I stop.
A new customer approaches me a couple of times. One time for quarters, another for soap (took her 3 mins to figure out what she wanted), and another time to complain that the washer did not rinse her clothing properly.
My theory is that if a machine works all day without anyone complaining, then it is NOT broken. In the morning, I find out if a machine is broken or not because I have anal customers who sit in front of the washer to see if it goes through all the cycles and if the washer gets filled with water. This lady approaches me and says "my clothes have soap". I roll my eyes and ask her to take me to her washer. She takes me and I see soap residue on the door which means that she put too much soap in the washer. I explain to this lady that soap residue is normal when an excessive amount of soap is put in. She argues that she only put a quarter of a cup in the washer... BULL SHIT... if she were to put a quarter of a cup in a maxi load, then her clothing would not be clean and soap residue would NOT exist. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a liar on board the Asylum.
I started to rumage through her wet clothes to see if there was any soap residue. Lo and behold, nothing. She was complaining that the plastic thingy she had in there, had soap on it. There is an explanation for that. Plastic is not fabric so there is no way water could "flow" through it, thus the allowing of soap to be left behind. She didn't understand that concept. Long story short, I gave her the quarters back so she can wash again. I spent 15 minutes with her and I didn't want to continue on.
Later on, a lady approached me and I had to ask her twice "how many quarters do you need?" before she gave me the right answer instead of "two tens". *Palm to face* Please help me.
A new customer approaches me a couple of times. One time for quarters, another for soap (took her 3 mins to figure out what she wanted), and another time to complain that the washer did not rinse her clothing properly.
My theory is that if a machine works all day without anyone complaining, then it is NOT broken. In the morning, I find out if a machine is broken or not because I have anal customers who sit in front of the washer to see if it goes through all the cycles and if the washer gets filled with water. This lady approaches me and says "my clothes have soap". I roll my eyes and ask her to take me to her washer. She takes me and I see soap residue on the door which means that she put too much soap in the washer. I explain to this lady that soap residue is normal when an excessive amount of soap is put in. She argues that she only put a quarter of a cup in the washer... BULL SHIT... if she were to put a quarter of a cup in a maxi load, then her clothing would not be clean and soap residue would NOT exist. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a liar on board the Asylum.
I started to rumage through her wet clothes to see if there was any soap residue. Lo and behold, nothing. She was complaining that the plastic thingy she had in there, had soap on it. There is an explanation for that. Plastic is not fabric so there is no way water could "flow" through it, thus the allowing of soap to be left behind. She didn't understand that concept. Long story short, I gave her the quarters back so she can wash again. I spent 15 minutes with her and I didn't want to continue on.
Later on, a lady approached me and I had to ask her twice "how many quarters do you need?" before she gave me the right answer instead of "two tens". *Palm to face* Please help me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
NOTE
I did not have a Monday post. Unfortunately, I did not have time to type something up. Fortunately, for me... I did not have any problems yesterday with anyone.
*POINT AND LAUGH*
Rarely do I feel sympathy for those who "violate" and "disrespect" my machines/property. One of my customers decides to bang/punch my washer and kick it so it could accept the quarters but I got my satisfaction in scaring her. Not only does she like hitting other peoples property but she also has music blasted in her ears... and we all know what that means... miscommunication. First, she couldn't hear me say "I don't have any quarters here" and then she didn't hear me say "don't bang the machine". As a matter of fact, I felt like choking her tiny little neck with the wire from her headphones but I don't feel like going to prison before my vacation. So, I stormed out from behind the counter and stomped to her. She was in her own little world because when I started talking loud (not yelling), she turned and got scared. Inside, I was laughing. Outside, I was yelling. She got so startled that she gave me the quarters to put in the machine. Her hands were even shaking. Did I feel bad? Of course not! I feel bad for me because if that machine breaks down then -I- have to fix it. Not her, not the Chinese dude next door, but me. M. E.
My belief is that she isn't a bright one or she has been sheltered throughout her life. Then again, I am not an all mighty dude with power to judge. One day an Arabic male approached her asking her where she lives and if she is single. What her mom's name is and if she is arranged for a marriage. He kept complimenting her on her folding and touching her. When he left, I asked if they were related or something (didn't want to seem too nosey) and she said "No"... YOU MORON, WHY GIVE OUT YOUR NAME, WHERE YOU LIVE, AND FAMILY INFO!? YOU ARE IN YOUR TEENS AND HE IS IN HIS 40S... I should have hit her over the head with a Tide bottle. Maybe that action would knock some common sense into her.
On a side note, I really do hate it when people fold their tickets into small little squares. Really do...
My belief is that she isn't a bright one or she has been sheltered throughout her life. Then again, I am not an all mighty dude with power to judge. One day an Arabic male approached her asking her where she lives and if she is single. What her mom's name is and if she is arranged for a marriage. He kept complimenting her on her folding and touching her. When he left, I asked if they were related or something (didn't want to seem too nosey) and she said "No"... YOU MORON, WHY GIVE OUT YOUR NAME, WHERE YOU LIVE, AND FAMILY INFO!? YOU ARE IN YOUR TEENS AND HE IS IN HIS 40S... I should have hit her over the head with a Tide bottle. Maybe that action would knock some common sense into her.
On a side note, I really do hate it when people fold their tickets into small little squares. Really do...
SUNDAY'S POST- COMEDY HOUR?
Being the YouTube whore that I am, I found this video from Madtv. Imagine if my laundromat had comedy hour? How cool would that be?! NOT! I would participate in a self lobotomy and the starting area would be the ear. Finding boots in washers and toys in dryers? Nothing new there... I should get one of those mic thingies...
SATURDAY'S POST- CAN I HAZ SUPER STRENGTHZ SOAPZ?
I'm posting all the posts today from over the weekend. Unfortunately, these past few days I was not able to make posts.
On Saturday, I had a friend visit me and we spent my shift together. Lets just say throughout the day, people were coming to me with stupid questions and at one point, a customer answered his stupid question with a stupid answer. Of course I just smiled, turned, and shook my head.
However, one customer stood out. He will be known as Cabby Racer. Why? Well, he drives his wheel as a race car... the story gets better.
Cabby walks in, puts his laundry bag by a washer, and comes to me asking for soap. I show him the showcase and I ask him which one he wants. He says "the best one"... now... keep in mind, I have Tide, Aura, Clorox 2, Bleach, and Downy. Not much of a selection and the pick should be easy but no... why would a customer make my life easy? If these customers made my job and life easy, then hell would freeze over and Satan will give up his title. He says "I want the best soap" so I choose Tide for him only because if I explained Aura to him, then he would ask me more questions when his answers were already give... which would conclude that he wouldn't have listened. He finally bought the 16 load Tide and he asked "if I put the whole thing in there, will it clean my clothes?" I replied with a simple "No" but in my mind I was thinking *you fucker, how dirty are your clothing and WHY would you put a whole bottle in a small washing machine?!?!?!??!?!?!* He questioned me and I explained (THIS IS USEFUL INFORMATION BY THE WAY!):
If you put too much soap in your clothes, your clothing will not be cleaned. Too much soap prevents the clothes from getting cleaned the way they are supposed to. As a matter of fact, you will ruin your clothes and my washer. Ruin my washer and I will make you feel horribly bad and ridicule you in front of everyone else while hinting how much of an idiot you are.
He finally takes the soap and goes his merry way. My friend is trying to hold back from laughter. I shake my head and chuckle a bit. He comes back asking if there is stronger soap out there and "well, don't get your clothes so dirty" slipped from my mouth. He laughed and he said "oh come on, you know me. I come by here all the time, you know? So, what soap is strong out there?"
A. If I know you and you know me, then what is my name and what is yours?
B. If you come here all the time, then shouldn't you know which soap works for your clothing? C. If i knew which soap was strong, then I would be a multi-millionaire making sure stupid people were locked in a basement.
Finally he leaves to only come back 35 minutes later to show me his pants with the dirt on the thigh part of the pants. He said, and I kid you not... "I drive a cab and my pants get dirty because of the steering wheel. I drive the steering wheel like a race car, you know?" No... I don't want to know actually... "So, I need strong soap to remove that"... at this point I felt like saying "OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ABOUT STRONG SOAP!? PLEASE!!!!" When he was leaving, he mentioned soap again but I managed to ignore it. Soap is soap. Period!
On Saturday, I had a friend visit me and we spent my shift together. Lets just say throughout the day, people were coming to me with stupid questions and at one point, a customer answered his stupid question with a stupid answer. Of course I just smiled, turned, and shook my head.
However, one customer stood out. He will be known as Cabby Racer. Why? Well, he drives his wheel as a race car... the story gets better.
Cabby walks in, puts his laundry bag by a washer, and comes to me asking for soap. I show him the showcase and I ask him which one he wants. He says "the best one"... now... keep in mind, I have Tide, Aura, Clorox 2, Bleach, and Downy. Not much of a selection and the pick should be easy but no... why would a customer make my life easy? If these customers made my job and life easy, then hell would freeze over and Satan will give up his title. He says "I want the best soap" so I choose Tide for him only because if I explained Aura to him, then he would ask me more questions when his answers were already give... which would conclude that he wouldn't have listened. He finally bought the 16 load Tide and he asked "if I put the whole thing in there, will it clean my clothes?" I replied with a simple "No" but in my mind I was thinking *you fucker, how dirty are your clothing and WHY would you put a whole bottle in a small washing machine?!?!?!??!?!?!* He questioned me and I explained (THIS IS USEFUL INFORMATION BY THE WAY!):
If you put too much soap in your clothes, your clothing will not be cleaned. Too much soap prevents the clothes from getting cleaned the way they are supposed to. As a matter of fact, you will ruin your clothes and my washer. Ruin my washer and I will make you feel horribly bad and ridicule you in front of everyone else while hinting how much of an idiot you are.
He finally takes the soap and goes his merry way. My friend is trying to hold back from laughter. I shake my head and chuckle a bit. He comes back asking if there is stronger soap out there and "well, don't get your clothes so dirty" slipped from my mouth. He laughed and he said "oh come on, you know me. I come by here all the time, you know? So, what soap is strong out there?"
A. If I know you and you know me, then what is my name and what is yours?
B. If you come here all the time, then shouldn't you know which soap works for your clothing? C. If i knew which soap was strong, then I would be a multi-millionaire making sure stupid people were locked in a basement.
Finally he leaves to only come back 35 minutes later to show me his pants with the dirt on the thigh part of the pants. He said, and I kid you not... "I drive a cab and my pants get dirty because of the steering wheel. I drive the steering wheel like a race car, you know?" No... I don't want to know actually... "So, I need strong soap to remove that"... at this point I felt like saying "OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ABOUT STRONG SOAP!? PLEASE!!!!" When he was leaving, he mentioned soap again but I managed to ignore it. Soap is soap. Period!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
BLEACH WASHED BRAINS
Today I had to explain a couple of times the difference between softener and soap as well as comforter and bed sheets. These people that do not belong to me, meaning that they are not regulars at the laundromat, do not know the difference between the two. Here are a couple of definitions... I just HAD to post this because it pisses me off to no end when I have to sit there for 5 mins to explaining the above... and I want to KILL THEM when they tell me after the explanation "no understand English". Well a big FUCK YOU to you for wasting my time! I normally do NOT curse but when I'm pissed, I let loose.
COMFORTER: bedding made of two layers of cloth filled with stuffing and stitched together. Comforters cover the mattress, but not the box spring. Since the top and bottom fabrics of a Comforter are quilted together with a filling material in between, they are usually fluffier and thicker than a bedspread or coverlet. YOU USE IT DURING THE WINTER TO KEEP YOU WARM.
BED SHEETS: A bed sheet is a large piece of cloth used to cover a mattress. It is this sheet that one typically lies on.
SOAP: A cleaning agent used to wash a variety of items or persons. (Not the best quote but I like it... it made me chuckle)
SOFTENER: A product designed to impart a soft mellowness to the fabric.
I use the following example at times so people could understand the difference. Surprisingly it works and I do NOT need pictures:
Think of soap and softener as shampoo and conditioner... You use soap to wash your hair and conditioner to soften your hair. You use soap to wash your clothing and conditioner to soften your clothes and eliminate excess soap. Its not that hard of a concept.
COMFORTER: bedding made of two layers of cloth filled with stuffing and stitched together. Comforters cover the mattress, but not the box spring. Since the top and bottom fabrics of a Comforter are quilted together with a filling material in between, they are usually fluffier and thicker than a bedspread or coverlet. YOU USE IT DURING THE WINTER TO KEEP YOU WARM.
BED SHEETS: A bed sheet is a large piece of cloth used to cover a mattress. It is this sheet that one typically lies on.
SOAP: A cleaning agent used to wash a variety of items or persons. (Not the best quote but I like it... it made me chuckle)
SOFTENER: A product designed to impart a soft mellowness to the fabric.
I use the following example at times so people could understand the difference. Surprisingly it works and I do NOT need pictures:
Think of soap and softener as shampoo and conditioner... You use soap to wash your hair and conditioner to soften your hair. You use soap to wash your clothing and conditioner to soften your clothes and eliminate excess soap. Its not that hard of a concept.
LAUNDROMAT CHARM SCHOOL
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen!
Today's blog will educate you in Laundromat Etiquette. Hopefully, you will take all of this information given to you at no cost and consider it for when you enter your local laundromat. Please be advised that by reading this, you will further advance your manners and reduce the numbers on your bitch meter and douche-baggery meter. Please note that all this does not apply to some of you and if it does, then crack your thick skull open and absorbed the following:
1. Thou shall greet. We do not expect you to smile when you enter but a reply to our "hello" would be nice. I know some of you that are hipsters or think you are from the early 1900's have a constipated look on your face, so we will omit the smile, but a hello wouldn't hurt you.
2. Thou shall not be a slob. Upon entering the laundromat, do not throw your stuff around the location. It is NOT your living room and I will NOT clean up after you. As a matter of fact, go grab a laundry cart or two and store your belongings in there. At the same time please be aware that I am NOT responsible for your belongings and for a simple fee of 19.95 and hour, I will protect your belongings. Actually, I won't. I just felt like saying that.
3. Thou shall think. Before coming to me about your problems, see if you can solve it on your own. Example: I put the quarters in the washer but it wont start. Why is that? A. do I need more quarters? B. Is the washer door closed? C. Is the washer lock latched? D. Let me go ask for help because I am a complete moron. Most likely your answer is D because you refuse to use what is left of your brain cells and you want everything done for you.
4. Thou shall try. Majority of us LOVE to paint/draw/look at pictures. If you don't at the adult age that you are, I bet when you were young, pictures made you "happy". Well, when in doubt on how to retrieve quarters from the change machine, look at the picture. If you cannot figure it out, then please go buy a coloring book and start from square 1 level 1. It will further advance your knowledge and you will graduate to the next level of not irritating the owner or employee at your local laundromat. *Please note, this rule also applies to closing a washer door and latching it. All washers provide a detailed picture*
5. Thou shall not lie. I can catch you when you are lying. Employees at other laundromats know when you are lying. We just patronize you so you could leave us alone. Majority of the laundromats have cameras. We see what is going on and we can easily solve a case when needed. Do NOT use another currency for the washers. We will catch you. When we do catch you, do not lie. Again, there are cameras. We let you off easy by fessing up, giving us our CORRECT money, and allowing you to leave peacefully. I do not know how other laundromats operate but I assure you, they do NOT want to be filling out paperwork. So... DO NOT LIE. FESS UP. YOU ARE GOOD TO GO. Oh and if you have the courage to show your face again at the scene of the "crime", be nice or we will be on top of you until you leave.
6. Thou shall keep my hands to myself. This one speaks for itself and pretty much anyone can and may relate to it (anyone in the serving industry). Please do not touch my ass. Compliment if you want. I will ignore you. But touch my ass and you will get smacked. It has happened and the individual got smacked. Threaten to call the cops? Again, please come to full realization that there are cameras installed and I WILL WIN. Go ahead, grab my ass but at the same time, make sure you have a death wish.
7. Thou shall explain. Explain what you want and need. I do not have the ability to read minds. If I did then majority of the problems in the world would be solved. I am not a psychic either. If I were, I wouldn't be in a laundry. god gave you a mouth. SPEAK!
8. Thou shall be prepared. Having stuff ready for me to expedite the service. The faster I serve you, the faster you will go wherever you have to go. I give you a pink slip... STORE IT IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND IT. Also, please don't fold your slip into a very small square. It is extra work for me and I will hate you forever. I am not a person to hate but I can and will make some exceptions.
9. Thou shall respect the property. A wise man once said "an eye for an eye".... sit on my table or surf in my laundry carts and I will ridicule you or cut your legs off. Wanna try me? Go ahead. Majority of the time I am NOT in a good mood because of stupidity... chances are, you will get your legs chopped off or I will tear you a new asshole.
10. Thou shall not talk on the phone. Actually, talk on the phone all you want; however, DO NOT TALK TO THE PHONE WHILE YOU ARE ASKING ME SOMETHING. It is rude. Many people do this and I go back to doing what I was doing. It is irritating and I will tell you to get off the phone. You want to be served properly? Well then respect me and get off the phone. I will NOT wait for you to finish and I WILL take the next customer. You don't like it? Too fuckin bad. Get a clue.
Today's blog will educate you in Laundromat Etiquette. Hopefully, you will take all of this information given to you at no cost and consider it for when you enter your local laundromat. Please be advised that by reading this, you will further advance your manners and reduce the numbers on your bitch meter and douche-baggery meter. Please note that all this does not apply to some of you and if it does, then crack your thick skull open and absorbed the following:
1. Thou shall greet. We do not expect you to smile when you enter but a reply to our "hello" would be nice. I know some of you that are hipsters or think you are from the early 1900's have a constipated look on your face, so we will omit the smile, but a hello wouldn't hurt you.
2. Thou shall not be a slob. Upon entering the laundromat, do not throw your stuff around the location. It is NOT your living room and I will NOT clean up after you. As a matter of fact, go grab a laundry cart or two and store your belongings in there. At the same time please be aware that I am NOT responsible for your belongings and for a simple fee of 19.95 and hour, I will protect your belongings. Actually, I won't. I just felt like saying that.
3. Thou shall think. Before coming to me about your problems, see if you can solve it on your own. Example: I put the quarters in the washer but it wont start. Why is that? A. do I need more quarters? B. Is the washer door closed? C. Is the washer lock latched? D. Let me go ask for help because I am a complete moron. Most likely your answer is D because you refuse to use what is left of your brain cells and you want everything done for you.
4. Thou shall try. Majority of us LOVE to paint/draw/look at pictures. If you don't at the adult age that you are, I bet when you were young, pictures made you "happy". Well, when in doubt on how to retrieve quarters from the change machine, look at the picture. If you cannot figure it out, then please go buy a coloring book and start from square 1 level 1. It will further advance your knowledge and you will graduate to the next level of not irritating the owner or employee at your local laundromat. *Please note, this rule also applies to closing a washer door and latching it. All washers provide a detailed picture*
5. Thou shall not lie. I can catch you when you are lying. Employees at other laundromats know when you are lying. We just patronize you so you could leave us alone. Majority of the laundromats have cameras. We see what is going on and we can easily solve a case when needed. Do NOT use another currency for the washers. We will catch you. When we do catch you, do not lie. Again, there are cameras. We let you off easy by fessing up, giving us our CORRECT money, and allowing you to leave peacefully. I do not know how other laundromats operate but I assure you, they do NOT want to be filling out paperwork. So... DO NOT LIE. FESS UP. YOU ARE GOOD TO GO. Oh and if you have the courage to show your face again at the scene of the "crime", be nice or we will be on top of you until you leave.
6. Thou shall keep my hands to myself. This one speaks for itself and pretty much anyone can and may relate to it (anyone in the serving industry). Please do not touch my ass. Compliment if you want. I will ignore you. But touch my ass and you will get smacked. It has happened and the individual got smacked. Threaten to call the cops? Again, please come to full realization that there are cameras installed and I WILL WIN. Go ahead, grab my ass but at the same time, make sure you have a death wish.
7. Thou shall explain. Explain what you want and need. I do not have the ability to read minds. If I did then majority of the problems in the world would be solved. I am not a psychic either. If I were, I wouldn't be in a laundry. god gave you a mouth. SPEAK!
8. Thou shall be prepared. Having stuff ready for me to expedite the service. The faster I serve you, the faster you will go wherever you have to go. I give you a pink slip... STORE IT IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND IT. Also, please don't fold your slip into a very small square. It is extra work for me and I will hate you forever. I am not a person to hate but I can and will make some exceptions.
9. Thou shall respect the property. A wise man once said "an eye for an eye".... sit on my table or surf in my laundry carts and I will ridicule you or cut your legs off. Wanna try me? Go ahead. Majority of the time I am NOT in a good mood because of stupidity... chances are, you will get your legs chopped off or I will tear you a new asshole.
10. Thou shall not talk on the phone. Actually, talk on the phone all you want; however, DO NOT TALK TO THE PHONE WHILE YOU ARE ASKING ME SOMETHING. It is rude. Many people do this and I go back to doing what I was doing. It is irritating and I will tell you to get off the phone. You want to be served properly? Well then respect me and get off the phone. I will NOT wait for you to finish and I WILL take the next customer. You don't like it? Too fuckin bad. Get a clue.
Monday, July 13, 2009
NO POST UNTIL WEDS
The past couple of days, I have spent with my family due to a family members passing.
I will get back to writing most likely on Wednesday.
Thank you.
-LLG
I will get back to writing most likely on Wednesday.
Thank you.
-LLG
Saturday, July 11, 2009
ATTACK OF THE HIPSTERS
First off, yesterday was pretty crazy... from dealing with customers to having a family member die. May he rest in peace... it was time for him to go and sadly, he had to suffer before he found peace.
Last night, I specifically told a customer that I will be closing early due to the family situation. He said he understood and that he would be out before 9pm. He was out by 9:05pm. Why? Well, his hipster friends decided to waltz in and try to take over the laundromat. Not over my dead body though (no pun intended... an inside joke related to the family death... oh never mind...)! I swear these three individuals looked like they came fresh from Williamsburg... at first I got scared and though out loud "OH NO! I'M BEING INVADED" to which one turned around and gave me a look. I grinned. I did not have a problem with them until one decided to sit on the table and the other tried to surf in the laundry cart. I would have asked them "is this how you act at home?" but I already knew the answer would be "yes". I skipped on the question and with a firm voice I said "you can't sit on the table" and "you, get out of the cart now."... Of course I was in a bitchy/upset mood too but either way, they deserved it. I asked two of them to move to the other side so I can mop and one mockingly said "Oh sure!" to which I ignored and they were snickering but oh well. It was probably because of the comment I had made when they came in.
They thought they were being cute by prancing all over the laundromat but with a pair of scissors in my hand, I was tempted to stab an eye out... or at least their hand. I forgot to add, as they were entering, I felt as if I were in the Time Zone- hipster/yuppie style. Also, a bunch of them have moved into my neighborhood... I actually don't mind some of them since they ride bikes which means more parking spaces which means I don't have to search for an hour for parking. Guess there is a bright side.... with a bit of puke in my mouth.
On another topic, what is it with people and leaning against an active doorway? Two customers, on two different occasions, decided to lean on the door that allows access to the counter. Why would you do that? One customer, an immigrant from Afghanistan got scared because the door hit her on her back. I tried not to laugh but serves her right... she went and stood by it again... WHY!? The other customer decided to leave her baby in the carriage right behind the door... I must have hit the carriage 4 times before I told her something and she got the hint. Now I have to put a sign for that too.... COMMON SENSE PEOPLE, WORK ON IT... YOU CAN'T BUY IT BUT SERIOUSLY, WORK ON IT!
Last night, I specifically told a customer that I will be closing early due to the family situation. He said he understood and that he would be out before 9pm. He was out by 9:05pm. Why? Well, his hipster friends decided to waltz in and try to take over the laundromat. Not over my dead body though (no pun intended... an inside joke related to the family death... oh never mind...)! I swear these three individuals looked like they came fresh from Williamsburg... at first I got scared and though out loud "OH NO! I'M BEING INVADED" to which one turned around and gave me a look. I grinned. I did not have a problem with them until one decided to sit on the table and the other tried to surf in the laundry cart. I would have asked them "is this how you act at home?" but I already knew the answer would be "yes". I skipped on the question and with a firm voice I said "you can't sit on the table" and "you, get out of the cart now."... Of course I was in a bitchy/upset mood too but either way, they deserved it. I asked two of them to move to the other side so I can mop and one mockingly said "Oh sure!" to which I ignored and they were snickering but oh well. It was probably because of the comment I had made when they came in.
They thought they were being cute by prancing all over the laundromat but with a pair of scissors in my hand, I was tempted to stab an eye out... or at least their hand. I forgot to add, as they were entering, I felt as if I were in the Time Zone- hipster/yuppie style. Also, a bunch of them have moved into my neighborhood... I actually don't mind some of them since they ride bikes which means more parking spaces which means I don't have to search for an hour for parking. Guess there is a bright side.... with a bit of puke in my mouth.
On another topic, what is it with people and leaning against an active doorway? Two customers, on two different occasions, decided to lean on the door that allows access to the counter. Why would you do that? One customer, an immigrant from Afghanistan got scared because the door hit her on her back. I tried not to laugh but serves her right... she went and stood by it again... WHY!? The other customer decided to leave her baby in the carriage right behind the door... I must have hit the carriage 4 times before I told her something and she got the hint. Now I have to put a sign for that too.... COMMON SENSE PEOPLE, WORK ON IT... YOU CAN'T BUY IT BUT SERIOUSLY, WORK ON IT!
Friday, July 10, 2009
I GOT PWNED
For those of you who do not know what PWNED means, I have the definition for you. Its a terminology used mostly in gaming.
1.
pwned
A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned." It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned." OR "That team totally pwned us."
So I was "babysitting" the store this morning for a half an hour so the co worker can go to the bathroom and get a drink. During that time, someone walks up to me and asks me to use the bathroom. I told them it is for customers only and that I would have to follow the rules. Here I think that he is going to leave but what does he do?... He pulls rank on me. I lost this fight. His exact words? "I'm the guy that picks up your garbage every Friday night."
You never ever want to mess with the garbage man that picks up your garbage because he can very well screw you over somehow. My facial expression seemed to be priceless since I had absolutely nothing to say to him and I just handed him the key. He even gave me the name of the garbage company and the I.D... I lost... I got owned AND I had nothing to say...
1.
pwned
A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned." It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned." OR "That team totally pwned us."
So I was "babysitting" the store this morning for a half an hour so the co worker can go to the bathroom and get a drink. During that time, someone walks up to me and asks me to use the bathroom. I told them it is for customers only and that I would have to follow the rules. Here I think that he is going to leave but what does he do?... He pulls rank on me. I lost this fight. His exact words? "I'm the guy that picks up your garbage every Friday night."
You never ever want to mess with the garbage man that picks up your garbage because he can very well screw you over somehow. My facial expression seemed to be priceless since I had absolutely nothing to say to him and I just handed him the key. He even gave me the name of the garbage company and the I.D... I lost... I got owned AND I had nothing to say...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
THEMED DAYS
As I was helping a customer figure out how to close a washer door (this never gets old....), I thought about having themed days. Thursday is already themed Not My Customers Thursday... yes I will try and figure out a shorter name. Any suggestions? Anywhoots, to those of you just discovering this "new" blog, NMCT means that some customers aren't regulars because of the other laundromat being closed. Which means I have to take care of more people and cater to their stupidity. Who am I kidding? I don't cater to them. Only to the nice ones <3 and the nice ones are MY customers. I should get a stamp and stamp them.
Since I don't work on Sundays, I will make that day Random Sunday. Random Sunday will consist of random videos related to laundromats and/or laundry. I might even throw in an old story. I have tons of those. Monday- Friday will be regular blogs and im thinking of ending Saturday with a quote... or just writing the day.
What do you think?
Since I don't work on Sundays, I will make that day Random Sunday. Random Sunday will consist of random videos related to laundromats and/or laundry. I might even throw in an old story. I have tons of those. Monday- Friday will be regular blogs and im thinking of ending Saturday with a quote... or just writing the day.
What do you think?
NOT MY CUSTOMERS THURSDAY- PART ONE
Its only 10:30 AM and there have been what the fuck moments since 7:35 pm. WHY!? Oh dear god WHY!?... I thought they only existed during my night shift but believe it or not, they are worse in the morning. I kid you not ladies and gentlemen. Where should I start???
Well, one customer that does belong to us does not know how to articulate or speak up. She is a very nice lady don't get me wrong but come on, need something just speak up! She asks where the tailor is and I explain to her the situation. Of course she doesn't elaborate what SHE needs so she continues to ask for her. Finally after asking her 4 times what she needs, she gives in and says that the tailor fixed a skirt for her. Um, nice lady... couldn't you have said this 4 questions ago? I'm not a broken record and for this to be happening at 8 in the fuckin morning means that the rest of the shift will be hell. I ask for her pink slip and she doesn't have it which goes back to asking for the tailor. Finally I ask for her name to locate the tailored garment and I find it... only to be told that she will not be picking it up at that time. I give her a nasty look and she walks away. Only to come back, hand me a 10 and not tell me what she needs.
Ok, nice lady? For the future, please do not do laundry in the morning. It is NOT your forte. Thank you.
Next up, we have a dude that is not my customer. I will call him Bicycle Man. Sound like a super hero right? Nope. More like a walking moron half asleep who is in his own world of iPodness. That's right. iPodness. Can't hear me? Well common sense says to remove your headphones from your ears and tell me what you need.
Here is what happened in chronological order:
- He comes up to me walking all macho and music blasting from his ear. (Um, good sir... I'm sure your brain is out of cells so you have nothing to save... but I think you need your hearing so save that and turn the music down.). Hands we a 20 and says "I need a 20". So here I am talking and mouthing "It will not take a 20 so here are 4 5's". He gets back to me with saying "20". I make a notion for him to remove the headphones so he can hear me. Surprisingly he does and he snatches the 4 5's from my hand and goes his merry way.
- After washing and putting his clothing in the dryer, he walks back with hangers and proceeds to the dryers. Fifteen minutes later, he comes back with music fully blasted and points to his hanger and shakes it. I tried not to laugh... it was a laughing moment for some reason. So I mouth and say loudly, I do not need hangers. Obviously I don't know what the hell he wants from my life or at this point my store so he takes his hangers off and says "need" and I say "I don't". He then decides to use a full sentence like an actual human being and says "I need hangers, have?" Okies, so a partial full sentence. So I give him 3 hangers and he goes his merry way.
- On his way out, he flailed his arms at his buddy... without sound again so I snickered (I love special moments).
-After 10 minutes, he comes back with his bike and instead of parking the bike in the front, he proceeds to ride it in the store. I yell (due to the music), YOU CAN'T RIDE THAT IN HERE. He looked shocked at my request. WHY!? He asks me if he can leave it in the front and I nod. He ORDERS me to watch his bike and I told him "sure, 10 bucks per minute". He ignored me on that and then had the nerve to say "you no watching it". No fucker. I'm not. I'm watching my laptop and trying to finish a game. Okies, I didn't tell him that and I just ignored him.
Thursday morning so far has been a fail.
Oh I forgot about the bleach dude. He kept asking for bleach and I kept saying the bottle or the box for colors? From a friend's advice I just gave him the bleach and he went on his way to wash. I hope he doesn't use it for his colors. On the bright side, it avoided a 5 minute debate.
I can't wait until 2:3o.... then I do NOT have to deal with the night shift....
Also, is it that hard to be polite!? I should slap some of you with the please and thank you hand.
Thankfully I have customers that are nice and actually DO talk, smile, and laugh... to those, A BIG THANK YOU!!!
Well, one customer that does belong to us does not know how to articulate or speak up. She is a very nice lady don't get me wrong but come on, need something just speak up! She asks where the tailor is and I explain to her the situation. Of course she doesn't elaborate what SHE needs so she continues to ask for her. Finally after asking her 4 times what she needs, she gives in and says that the tailor fixed a skirt for her. Um, nice lady... couldn't you have said this 4 questions ago? I'm not a broken record and for this to be happening at 8 in the fuckin morning means that the rest of the shift will be hell. I ask for her pink slip and she doesn't have it which goes back to asking for the tailor. Finally I ask for her name to locate the tailored garment and I find it... only to be told that she will not be picking it up at that time. I give her a nasty look and she walks away. Only to come back, hand me a 10 and not tell me what she needs.
Ok, nice lady? For the future, please do not do laundry in the morning. It is NOT your forte. Thank you.
Next up, we have a dude that is not my customer. I will call him Bicycle Man. Sound like a super hero right? Nope. More like a walking moron half asleep who is in his own world of iPodness. That's right. iPodness. Can't hear me? Well common sense says to remove your headphones from your ears and tell me what you need.
Here is what happened in chronological order:
- He comes up to me walking all macho and music blasting from his ear. (Um, good sir... I'm sure your brain is out of cells so you have nothing to save... but I think you need your hearing so save that and turn the music down.). Hands we a 20 and says "I need a 20". So here I am talking and mouthing "It will not take a 20 so here are 4 5's". He gets back to me with saying "20". I make a notion for him to remove the headphones so he can hear me. Surprisingly he does and he snatches the 4 5's from my hand and goes his merry way.
- After washing and putting his clothing in the dryer, he walks back with hangers and proceeds to the dryers. Fifteen minutes later, he comes back with music fully blasted and points to his hanger and shakes it. I tried not to laugh... it was a laughing moment for some reason. So I mouth and say loudly, I do not need hangers. Obviously I don't know what the hell he wants from my life or at this point my store so he takes his hangers off and says "need" and I say "I don't". He then decides to use a full sentence like an actual human being and says "I need hangers, have?" Okies, so a partial full sentence. So I give him 3 hangers and he goes his merry way.
- On his way out, he flailed his arms at his buddy... without sound again so I snickered (I love special moments).
-After 10 minutes, he comes back with his bike and instead of parking the bike in the front, he proceeds to ride it in the store. I yell (due to the music), YOU CAN'T RIDE THAT IN HERE. He looked shocked at my request. WHY!? He asks me if he can leave it in the front and I nod. He ORDERS me to watch his bike and I told him "sure, 10 bucks per minute". He ignored me on that and then had the nerve to say "you no watching it". No fucker. I'm not. I'm watching my laptop and trying to finish a game. Okies, I didn't tell him that and I just ignored him.
Thursday morning so far has been a fail.
Oh I forgot about the bleach dude. He kept asking for bleach and I kept saying the bottle or the box for colors? From a friend's advice I just gave him the bleach and he went on his way to wash. I hope he doesn't use it for his colors. On the bright side, it avoided a 5 minute debate.
I can't wait until 2:3o.... then I do NOT have to deal with the night shift....
Also, is it that hard to be polite!? I should slap some of you with the please and thank you hand.
Thankfully I have customers that are nice and actually DO talk, smile, and laugh... to those, A BIG THANK YOU!!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
BED BUGS
I get asked many questions about bed bugs since I work at a laundromat. So I figured I would share my knowledge with you guys.
- Bed bugs are quite hard to kill without professional help.
- They can live up to a year without drawing any blood.
- They do NOT only live in beds. They can be found in bed posts, curtains, shelves, bed wheels, drawers, and closests.
- They can easily be attracted in places where USED clothing is being transported. Rarely in big department stores.
- During the summer time, it is hard to distinguish a bed bug from a mosquito. Best way to identify a bed bug bite is by "breakfast, lunch, and dinner"... A bed bug normally bites in three different spots near eachother and the bites are not as round as a mosquito bite.
- "Baby" bed bugs tend to itch more than adult bed bugs because of the bed bug saliva.
- When hiring a professional, remove everything material wise from your room and wash it on hot as well as drying it on hot for an hour. Of course this might cause shrinkage of clothing but... do you really want to live with bed bugs? I think not...
- Once the professional finsihed spraying the room, do not enter it for 24 hours and when you do, clean the room. DO NOT USE BLEACH. IT WILL DEACTIVATE THE CHEMICAL.
- Make sure you have your mattress bed in a ZIPPERED MATTRESS COVER and the same for your pillow. This will eliminate future problems.
There is a posibility where you can attract bed bugs again after this but if you are careful, you should not have a problem. Ask your laundromat what their protocol is when they THINK they are infested with bed bugs. They will most likely lie to you because half of them can not be bothered. At our laundromat, we spray every 3 months and when we suspect a customer brought in bed bugs, everything gets cleaned and washed extremely well. Normally I can spot a customer that is infested with bed bugs for obvious reasons. One give away is the big black plastic bags mounted in a cart. That is a dead giveaway. PLEASE DO NOT JUST PUT YOUR CLOTHING IN THE DRYER ON HOT. YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR CLOTHES ON HOT TOO! I have seen many customers do this and the week after, they come up to me and ask me how to get rid of them. My first question to them always is "did you wash your clothing first?" and they say "no". Well, there goes your problem. Bed bugs are attracted to heat but they can not handle heat after a certain degrees and time. Hence why the hour on the dryer is a necessesity, especially on hot.
Do not be shy to ask questions about bed bugs. Its very common now and when I had spoken to an exterminator, in his words he said "blame the yuppies with their backpacking and wearing used clothing."... He mostly named Beacons Closet and Buffalo Exchange. Mostly Beacons Closet though. I find that quite funny.
- Bed bugs are quite hard to kill without professional help.
- They can live up to a year without drawing any blood.
- They do NOT only live in beds. They can be found in bed posts, curtains, shelves, bed wheels, drawers, and closests.
- They can easily be attracted in places where USED clothing is being transported. Rarely in big department stores.
- During the summer time, it is hard to distinguish a bed bug from a mosquito. Best way to identify a bed bug bite is by "breakfast, lunch, and dinner"... A bed bug normally bites in three different spots near eachother and the bites are not as round as a mosquito bite.
- "Baby" bed bugs tend to itch more than adult bed bugs because of the bed bug saliva.
- When hiring a professional, remove everything material wise from your room and wash it on hot as well as drying it on hot for an hour. Of course this might cause shrinkage of clothing but... do you really want to live with bed bugs? I think not...
- Once the professional finsihed spraying the room, do not enter it for 24 hours and when you do, clean the room. DO NOT USE BLEACH. IT WILL DEACTIVATE THE CHEMICAL.
- Make sure you have your mattress bed in a ZIPPERED MATTRESS COVER and the same for your pillow. This will eliminate future problems.
There is a posibility where you can attract bed bugs again after this but if you are careful, you should not have a problem. Ask your laundromat what their protocol is when they THINK they are infested with bed bugs. They will most likely lie to you because half of them can not be bothered. At our laundromat, we spray every 3 months and when we suspect a customer brought in bed bugs, everything gets cleaned and washed extremely well. Normally I can spot a customer that is infested with bed bugs for obvious reasons. One give away is the big black plastic bags mounted in a cart. That is a dead giveaway. PLEASE DO NOT JUST PUT YOUR CLOTHING IN THE DRYER ON HOT. YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR CLOTHES ON HOT TOO! I have seen many customers do this and the week after, they come up to me and ask me how to get rid of them. My first question to them always is "did you wash your clothing first?" and they say "no". Well, there goes your problem. Bed bugs are attracted to heat but they can not handle heat after a certain degrees and time. Hence why the hour on the dryer is a necessesity, especially on hot.
Do not be shy to ask questions about bed bugs. Its very common now and when I had spoken to an exterminator, in his words he said "blame the yuppies with their backpacking and wearing used clothing."... He mostly named Beacons Closet and Buffalo Exchange. Mostly Beacons Closet though. I find that quite funny.
Monday, July 6, 2009
SO MUCH FOR MORNING SHIFTS
I thought the morning shifts were the best aside from waking up early. Before today, I thought morning shifts were ideal because there weren't that many people coming into the laundromat. Boy was I wrong...
I realized that people in the morning around 9am, do not articulate what they say. As a matter of fact, they mumble and expect you to understand them. This one lady kept mumbling "soap" apparantly and I had to ask her 4 times what she wanted until she snapped back "soap" and then the question "what soap?" came into play. That "what soap?" game lasted one long minute.
Lets not forget the guy that came running in asking for quarters because he wanted to make a phone call... where is the fire?
Needless to say, people with the stupid bug come in at any time.
I realized that people in the morning around 9am, do not articulate what they say. As a matter of fact, they mumble and expect you to understand them. This one lady kept mumbling "soap" apparantly and I had to ask her 4 times what she wanted until she snapped back "soap" and then the question "what soap?" came into play. That "what soap?" game lasted one long minute.
Lets not forget the guy that came running in asking for quarters because he wanted to make a phone call... where is the fire?
Needless to say, people with the stupid bug come in at any time.
Friday, July 3, 2009
AND TODAY THE WEIRD CAME OUT...
In life, im not scared of much. I am not even scared of people. What can actually hurt you is zombies but that is a different story.
So a customer that I completely forgot about emerged after 4 years. Of course I was contemplating whether or not it was him. The way he talked, walked, and acted confirmed that it was him. Last time I saw him, he cursed me out because we didn't fold his laundry IN the shopping cart. I explained that we do not do that but he continued to yell and scream.
Here is the dialogue for today:
Weirdo: Hi. I need help with my laundry with some shirts.
LLG: Okay, I will be with you shortly.
-I go to the back to help him-
LLG: Okies, so what do you need help with?
Weirdo: mMy shirts but let me get to them.
LLG: okies, ill be in the front when you need me.
He never approached me for the shirts. But wait, there is more.
Weirdo: Its going to be difficult to fold my laundry. If I give it to you to do it, will you?
LLG: No.
Weirdo: -laugh- Oh come on. A thang like you can do it.
LLG: Um... no...
Now I started to get "scared" or weirded out rather because he started to smile and bat his lashes at me. He tried to grab my hand too.
Weirdo: How much is it by the pound?
( I tell him)
Weirdo: You know, you can always come help me and stand beside me. -giggles-
(yes he giggled)
LLG: Um, no... uh... ill be back in a bit.
I hide for a while.
Yep. I got a good weird out.
So a customer that I completely forgot about emerged after 4 years. Of course I was contemplating whether or not it was him. The way he talked, walked, and acted confirmed that it was him. Last time I saw him, he cursed me out because we didn't fold his laundry IN the shopping cart. I explained that we do not do that but he continued to yell and scream.
Here is the dialogue for today:
Weirdo: Hi. I need help with my laundry with some shirts.
LLG: Okay, I will be with you shortly.
-I go to the back to help him-
LLG: Okies, so what do you need help with?
Weirdo: mMy shirts but let me get to them.
LLG: okies, ill be in the front when you need me.
He never approached me for the shirts. But wait, there is more.
Weirdo: Its going to be difficult to fold my laundry. If I give it to you to do it, will you?
LLG: No.
Weirdo: -laugh- Oh come on. A thang like you can do it.
LLG: Um... no...
Now I started to get "scared" or weirded out rather because he started to smile and bat his lashes at me. He tried to grab my hand too.
Weirdo: How much is it by the pound?
( I tell him)
Weirdo: You know, you can always come help me and stand beside me. -giggles-
(yes he giggled)
LLG: Um, no... uh... ill be back in a bit.
I hide for a while.
Yep. I got a good weird out.
POST FOR THURSDAY
Last night I did not get around to making a post. As much as I wanted to, I came home too late from my siblings home.
So remember what Thursday is?
NOT MY CUSTOMERS THURSDAY.
That's right ladies and gentlemen. My customers yesterday did not "belong" to me but to the closed laundromat.
Yesterday, a customer walked in at 8:15 PM when the last wash is at 8:00 PM. I realized this after I heard a washer start up. I was FURIOUS. Now, I am exhausted. Even though the environment tends to not be as hectic as an office job, its still pretty bad working at a laundry. When 8:00 PM hits, I think about home and my bed. Not customers.
Anyways I inform the customer that at 9 PM I close and she can NOT dry her clothing. She then says that she only has a small load and I tell her NO. The worst part? She did not understand or speak English. In broken Spanish I point to the sign and show her. Her daughter approaches me 20 mins later and asks if they could dry. I think to myself "round 2 ding ding". I tell her she can not dry and that the last wash is at 8 and I want to close at 9. She was trying to convince me to allow them to dry. I told her "if you were to go to Macy's last minute, you would not be allowed to continue shopping. As a matter of fact, you would be asked to leave."
They finally got it and they left. Is it that difficult to follow rules let alone read a sign? Oh and people that look like hippies and talk like them while calling me sweetie and babe, scare the living shit out of. Especially when their significant other looks drugged and can't grasp the concept that I do not have black garbage bags for sale. *head to desk*
So remember what Thursday is?
NOT MY CUSTOMERS THURSDAY.
That's right ladies and gentlemen. My customers yesterday did not "belong" to me but to the closed laundromat.
Yesterday, a customer walked in at 8:15 PM when the last wash is at 8:00 PM. I realized this after I heard a washer start up. I was FURIOUS. Now, I am exhausted. Even though the environment tends to not be as hectic as an office job, its still pretty bad working at a laundry. When 8:00 PM hits, I think about home and my bed. Not customers.
Anyways I inform the customer that at 9 PM I close and she can NOT dry her clothing. She then says that she only has a small load and I tell her NO. The worst part? She did not understand or speak English. In broken Spanish I point to the sign and show her. Her daughter approaches me 20 mins later and asks if they could dry. I think to myself "round 2 ding ding". I tell her she can not dry and that the last wash is at 8 and I want to close at 9. She was trying to convince me to allow them to dry. I told her "if you were to go to Macy's last minute, you would not be allowed to continue shopping. As a matter of fact, you would be asked to leave."
They finally got it and they left. Is it that difficult to follow rules let alone read a sign? Oh and people that look like hippies and talk like them while calling me sweetie and babe, scare the living shit out of. Especially when their significant other looks drugged and can't grasp the concept that I do not have black garbage bags for sale. *head to desk*
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