SATURDAY'S POST- CAN I HAZ SUPER STRENGTHZ SOAPZ?

I'm posting all the posts today from over the weekend. Unfortunately, these past few days I was not able to make posts.


On Saturday, I had a friend visit me and we spent my shift together. Lets just say throughout the day, people were coming to me with stupid questions and at one point, a customer answered his stupid question with a stupid answer. Of course I just smiled, turned, and shook my head.
However, one customer stood out. He will be known as Cabby Racer. Why? Well, he drives his wheel as a race car... the story gets better.

Cabby walks in, puts his laundry bag by a washer, and comes to me asking for soap. I show him the showcase and I ask him which one he wants. He says "the best one"... now... keep in mind, I have Tide, Aura, Clorox 2, Bleach, and Downy. Not much of a selection and the pick should be easy but no... why would a customer make my life easy? If these customers made my job and life easy, then hell would freeze over and Satan will give up his title. He says "I want the best soap" so I choose Tide for him only because if I explained Aura to him, then he would ask me more questions when his answers were already give... which would conclude that he wouldn't have listened. He finally bought the 16 load Tide and he asked "if I put the whole thing in there, will it clean my clothes?" I replied with a simple "No" but in my mind I was thinking *you fucker, how dirty are your clothing and WHY would you put a whole bottle in a small washing machine?!?!?!??!?!?!* He questioned me and I explained (THIS IS USEFUL INFORMATION BY THE WAY!):

If you put too much soap in your clothes, your clothing will not be cleaned. Too much soap prevents the clothes from getting cleaned the way they are supposed to. As a matter of fact, you will ruin your clothes and my washer. Ruin my washer and I will make you feel horribly bad and ridicule you in front of everyone else while hinting how much of an idiot you are.

He finally takes the soap and goes his merry way. My friend is trying to hold back from laughter. I shake my head and chuckle a bit. He comes back asking if there is stronger soap out there and "well, don't get your clothes so dirty" slipped from my mouth. He laughed and he said "oh come on, you know me. I come by here all the time, you know? So, what soap is strong out there?"
A. If I know you and you know me, then what is my name and what is yours?
B. If you come here all the time, then shouldn't you know which soap works for your clothing? C. If i knew which soap was strong, then I would be a multi-millionaire making sure stupid people were locked in a basement.

Finally he leaves to only come back 35 minutes later to show me his pants with the dirt on the thigh part of the pants. He said, and I kid you not... "I drive a cab and my pants get dirty because of the steering wheel. I drive the steering wheel like a race car, you know?" No... I don't want to know actually... "So, I need strong soap to remove that"... at this point I felt like saying "OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ABOUT STRONG SOAP!? PLEASE!!!!" When he was leaving, he mentioned soap again but I managed to ignore it. Soap is soap. Period!