SPANISH 101…LEVEL: HELL NO

I have mentioned before that I am not fluent in Spanish. I do understand a couple of words thanks to junior high school. I can –try- to pick it up again but I rather not. Is it useful? Of course… but why should –I- have to go learn it when they can go learn English… for free might I add.

So around 11am, I am getting cursed out in Spanish by an 80 year old lady. We actually know her from the past and my dear god is she crazy. I asked for her name to put on the dry cleaning ticket and she gave it to me. Then she started throwing out some numbers at me and I just waited until she was done. If I were to disturb her number marathon, then I would have gotten some type of lecture in Spanish. Plus, I must confess that I was highly amused. After her little number thingy, I asked for her number only to be given a shit load of numbers again. I go to her “TELEPHONE… TELEPHONO… RING RING” (I did add the ringing to it… I stooped to a new level and a brain cell is dead for that)… finally the crazy old lady decided to call over her home attendant and the phone number was finally given to me.

She later introduced another problem to me… in Spanish and after me flailing my arms in front of her in a “no” motion and saying “I don’t understand you and I don’t speak English”, she started cursing at me in Spanish. I should have kicked that lil’ old bitch to see how far she would fly. Her home attendant finally came to my rescue and said that she wanted something but couldn’t describe it. A. How the fuck is that my fault? B. Why am I getting cursed at? Finally, C. Why is she waving her cane at me?

The nice home attendant came to me for quarters and she apologized. She also started to share with me her problems (I am a therapist as well) with the old lady. Apparently she is a tad bit crazy and exhausting to be around.

When they left, the old lady gave me a death stare and I shot back a one eye stare. If she were to walk into the glass, I would have laughed.