BLEACHED BRAINS GO IN THE SPIN CYCLE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!





Where the hell do I begin? Child surfing in the cart? Child making bomb noises? Two females asking someone who clearly doesn't work here, if she works here? Female not knowing if the change machine works? Male not knowing which is the dryer and washer? Male screaming that the machine ate his 5 dollar bill?



The best part? All this happened within 8 minutes. Yes, I was checking time to see if I am going home soon.



Since I already made a mental- write down list above, I will just go with that.



So I come back to work from the ear doctor (my ear was clogged with black wax. Yum.) to only find a child surfing in a cart while making bombing noises. I asked the lady if the child belonged to her and she said yes. I asked her to remove her son from the cart because it was dangerous and the child could be in danger. Plus, I didn't want to deal with the insurance company and fill out tedious paper work along with answering questions to liability investigators. The kid asked why and the mom replied "because the mean lady said so". I corrected her in front of her son by saying "no, not because of that but because it is dangerous and you could get hurt." The mom gave me a stare down. I stared back. She isn't even my regular customer. She belongs to the other laundry place that closes on Thursday's. Tell your child the truth and point out the dangers. I felt like slapping the bitch because she made me out to be a "bad" or "mean" person just for placing fault (subliminal) to her parenting. Come back and stare at me and your eyeballs will be 6 feet under bitch!!! Too many incompetent human beings today has made me cranky.
Also, if my child were making bombing noises with curse words, I would tell him to stop and take the toy soldiers away. Mind you, the kid must have been 6 or 7 years old.

Next up, we have two females high on Burger King (super sized might I add) and really loud. They said "hi" to me and even asked how I was. I was polite. That right there would make you assume that they know I work there right? Nope. They went over to the sink asking a lady who didn't know how to speak English if she worked here. This was the convo:

Girls: You work here? I need two fives from a 10.
Lady: No.
Girls: You don't have change? I need change. You work here. Go to the front.
Lady: No, no speaky English.
Girls: ugh, how can you work here? I need change. Go get me change.

The lady walks away from them frightened. I am just sitting at the counter watching it all. They told me "Can you believe it? She works here!" I was like "Uh, no she doesn't. I do." They felt stupid. They had a "no way" type of look on their face. Mind you, one of them didn't know how to turn on the water at the sink.

Our next lucky contestant on today's blog is the young lady asking me if the change machine works. It does I told her and I also pointed out to her that she used it 15 minutes ago. She said there is a piece of paper next to it and I asked her what the paper says and she replied "I don't know". Good going... I went to see and I pointed at the sign that was there and she was like "Oohhh!" The sign had the hours of operation on it. I asked her if she saw the sign before she used it the first time since I was curious and she said "no."... OPEN YOUR FUCKIN EYES AND READ YOU STUPID BITCH!.... Okies, I am cranky without a doubt and maybe, just maybe the bitch comment is uncalled for but I don't give a crap! READ!!!
R-E-A-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHIFT+1!!!!!!!!

So remember the "I know I know" guy from a couple of blogs ago? I called him Bob if I recall... he is the you who also ends the sentence with "you know?" Well, the genius thought he had put in a five dollar bill and he didn't. GOOD GOING! So he was yelling from the back while I was at the counter waiting for him. I was NOT going to yell. The laundromat is busy today and last thing I was going to do is scream. He came to the front and after a minute of banting and ranting, he apologized because he had the bill in his hand the whole entire time.

-Breathes- Just typing all this makes me want to go play in traffic.

Then I had a customer that is not a regular ask me which are the washers and the which are the dryers and if the washers also dry. You know what, I am not even going to get into this one because the guy was obviously high. I asked him if he knows a place where the washers also dry and he said no. He answered his own stupid question and just went on to wash.

My favorite today was the lady who came to pick up her dry cleaning and she didn't have the money for it and asked "can I pick it up and pay you tomorrow?". I felt like saying "lady, I wasn't born yesterday" and instead I pointed her to an ATM. She rolled her eyes and went to retrieve money.

-face to desk-

The shift isn't over yet and I can't wait until I get home.

*POINT AND LAUGH*

Rarely do I feel sympathy for those who "violate" and "disrespect" my machines/property. One of my customers decides to bang/punch my washer and kick it so it could accept the quarters but I got my satisfaction in scaring her. Not only does she like hitting other peoples property but she also has music blasted in her ears... and we all know what that means... miscommunication. First, she couldn't hear me say "I don't have any quarters here" and then she didn't hear me say "don't bang the machine". As a matter of fact, I felt like choking her tiny little neck with the wire from her headphones but I don't feel like going to prison before my vacation. So, I stormed out from behind the counter and stomped to her. She was in her own little world because when I started talking loud (not yelling), she turned and got scared. Inside, I was laughing. Outside, I was yelling. She got so startled that she gave me the quarters to put in the machine. Her hands were even shaking. Did I feel bad? Of course not! I feel bad for me because if that machine breaks down then -I- have to fix it. Not her, not the Chinese dude next door, but me. M. E.

My belief is that she isn't a bright one or she has been sheltered throughout her life. Then again, I am not an all mighty dude with power to judge. One day an Arabic male approached her asking her where she lives and if she is single. What her mom's name is and if she is arranged for a marriage. He kept complimenting her on her folding and touching her. When he left, I asked if they were related or something (didn't want to seem too nosey) and she said "No"... YOU MORON, WHY GIVE OUT YOUR NAME, WHERE YOU LIVE, AND FAMILY INFO!? YOU ARE IN YOUR TEENS AND HE IS IN HIS 40S... I should have hit her over the head with a Tide bottle. Maybe that action would knock some common sense into her.

On a side note, I really do hate it when people fold their tickets into small little squares. Really do...