NOT MY CUSTOMERS THURSDAY- PART ONE

Its only 10:30 AM and there have been what the fuck moments since 7:35 pm. WHY!? Oh dear god WHY!?... I thought they only existed during my night shift but believe it or not, they are worse in the morning. I kid you not ladies and gentlemen. Where should I start???

Well, one customer that does belong to us does not know how to articulate or speak up. She is a very nice lady don't get me wrong but come on, need something just speak up! She asks where the tailor is and I explain to her the situation. Of course she doesn't elaborate what SHE needs so she continues to ask for her. Finally after asking her 4 times what she needs, she gives in and says that the tailor fixed a skirt for her. Um, nice lady... couldn't you have said this 4 questions ago? I'm not a broken record and for this to be happening at 8 in the fuckin morning means that the rest of the shift will be hell. I ask for her pink slip and she doesn't have it which goes back to asking for the tailor. Finally I ask for her name to locate the tailored garment and I find it... only to be told that she will not be picking it up at that time. I give her a nasty look and she walks away. Only to come back, hand me a 10 and not tell me what she needs.
Ok, nice lady? For the future, please do not do laundry in the morning. It is NOT your forte. Thank you.

Next up, we have a dude that is not my customer. I will call him Bicycle Man. Sound like a super hero right? Nope. More like a walking moron half asleep who is in his own world of iPodness. That's right. iPodness. Can't hear me? Well common sense says to remove your headphones from your ears and tell me what you need.

Here is what happened in chronological order:

- He comes up to me walking all macho and music blasting from his ear. (Um, good sir... I'm sure your brain is out of cells so you have nothing to save... but I think you need your hearing so save that and turn the music down.). Hands we a 20 and says "I need a 20". So here I am talking and mouthing "It will not take a 20 so here are 4 5's". He gets back to me with saying "20". I make a notion for him to remove the headphones so he can hear me. Surprisingly he does and he snatches the 4 5's from my hand and goes his merry way.

- After washing and putting his clothing in the dryer, he walks back with hangers and proceeds to the dryers. Fifteen minutes later, he comes back with music fully blasted and points to his hanger and shakes it. I tried not to laugh... it was a laughing moment for some reason. So I mouth and say loudly, I do not need hangers. Obviously I don't know what the hell he wants from my life or at this point my store so he takes his hangers off and says "need" and I say "I don't". He then decides to use a full sentence like an actual human being and says "I need hangers, have?" Okies, so a partial full sentence. So I give him 3 hangers and he goes his merry way.

- On his way out, he flailed his arms at his buddy... without sound again so I snickered (I love special moments).

-After 10 minutes, he comes back with his bike and instead of parking the bike in the front, he proceeds to ride it in the store. I yell (due to the music), YOU CAN'T RIDE THAT IN HERE. He looked shocked at my request. WHY!? He asks me if he can leave it in the front and I nod. He ORDERS me to watch his bike and I told him "sure, 10 bucks per minute". He ignored me on that and then had the nerve to say "you no watching it". No fucker. I'm not. I'm watching my laptop and trying to finish a game. Okies, I didn't tell him that and I just ignored him.

Thursday morning so far has been a fail.

Oh I forgot about the bleach dude. He kept asking for bleach and I kept saying the bottle or the box for colors? From a friend's advice I just gave him the bleach and he went on his way to wash. I hope he doesn't use it for his colors. On the bright side, it avoided a 5 minute debate.

I can't wait until 2:3o.... then I do NOT have to deal with the night shift....

Also, is it that hard to be polite!? I should slap some of you with the please and thank you hand.

Thankfully I have customers that are nice and actually DO talk, smile, and laugh... to those, A BIG THANK YOU!!!